Hearing parent adopt deaf child?

How do you feel about a hearing person adopting a deaf child? Part of my reasoning for studying ASL and Deaf culture is because I want to adopt deaf children. I intend for all my children, deaf of hearing, to have equal access to spoken english and ASL. I want my hearing kids to sign as fluently as they speak. I intend to send my deaf kids to a Deaf school and make sure they have adequate exposure to Deaf culture and other Deaf children and adults to socialize with. I want my children to know where they came from and identify with all facets of their culture. How do you feel about this?

deaf adoption

I see nothing wrong with a hearing person adopting deaf children. As the parent you would have the final say in the childs education and upbringing. Might be hard finding a deaf school though. Lots of the deaf schools are shutting down. Might even be hard to find deaf children to adopt. I have know a deaf/hearing couple wha have adopted deaf children.

I don't see any problem with that (especially if the parents will learn ASL and help the child be involved in the Deaf community, meet other Deaf/Hoh peers etc.

Remember that on average 9 out of 10 deaf/hoh are born to hearing parents ... so it's really not any different than if the parents had the child naturally and then found out they were deaf/hoh

I don't agree with "radical anti-deaf" parents adopting a deaf/hoh child with the main purpose and attitude that they are "saving them from the deaf community" (because the parents have some kind of misguided impression that the DC and ASL are "horrible", "ruin children" etc and that AV/oral only is the "only responsible reaction for Deaf/Hoh).

Anij said:

I don't see any problem with that (especially if the parents will learn ASL and help the child be involved in the Deaf community, meet other Deaf/Hoh peers etc.

Remember that on average 9 out of 10 deaf/hoh are born to hearing parents ... so it's really not any different than if the parents had the child naturally and then found out they were deaf/hoh

I don't agree with "radical anti-deaf" parents adopting a deaf/hoh child with the main purpose and attitude that they are "saving them from the deaf community" (because the parents have some kind of misguided impression that the DC and ASL are "horrible", "ruin children" etc and that AV/oral only is the "only responsible reaction for Deaf/Hoh).

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Totally agree.

DDU, there are still many Deaf schools out there and good ones.

I'm very glad to see that so far there is support for us hearing folks adopting deaf/hoh kids since I did just that!

I knew Adam's hearing wasn't up to par from the start b/c he failed his newborn hearing test THREE TIMES (I've had him since he was a day old technically and was present for at least one of the 'Bear' testing) but drs assumed he had fluid on his ear from the birth process, he'd be able to hear--blah, blah, blah... but he was infact profoundly deaf in his left ear and moderatly deaf in his right... he was 17 months old when our adoption was final (he was a foster care baby to begin with) so I KNEW he was deaf when I legally adopted him--I've actually been asked why would I want to adopt a child with special needs??? Like I was crazy or something...

I've worked hard to make sure he gets the best services he can, he's learning ASL and he does talk (a LOT ) but I'm not a die hard oralist, if he can talk-- GREAT if not, I love him all the same (he's got brain anomolies that may affect his speech cognition anyhow) -- he's got bilateral hearing aids he's had since he was 3.5 months old... currently I'm at a crossroads b/c he does attend an 'oral only' daycare/preschool and they discourage using ASL... so we're starting to look at some other local options...

I'm sure there are people who disagree w/hearing families adopting deaf children... just like people who disagree w/white families adopting black children, or homosexual couples adopting children period... I just look at them and smile-- better for a child to be in a LOVING, ACCEPTING home than somewhere else is my philosophy

Adamsmomma said:

I'm very glad to see that so far there is support for us hearing folks adopting deaf/hoh kids since I did just that!

I knew Adam's hearing wasn't up to par from the start b/c he failed his newborn hearing test THREE TIMES (I've had him since he was a day old technically and was present for at least one of the 'Bear' testing) but drs assumed he had fluid on his ear from the birth process, he'd be able to hear--blah, blah, blah... but he was infact profoundly deaf in his left ear and moderatly deaf in his right... he was 17 months old when our adoption was final (he was a foster care baby to begin with) so I KNEW he was deaf when I legally adopted him--I've actually been asked why would I want to adopt a child with special needs??? Like I was crazy or something...

I've worked hard to make sure he gets the best services he can, he's learning ASL and he does talk (a LOT ) but I'm not a die hard oralist, if he can talk-- GREAT if not, I love him all the same (he's got brain anomolies that may affect his speech cognition anyhow) -- he's got bilateral hearing aids he's had since he was 3.5 months old... currently I'm at a crossroads b/c he does attend an 'oral only' daycare/preschool and they discourage using ASL... so we're starting to look at some other local options...

I'm sure there are people who disagree w/hearing families adopting deaf children... just like people who disagree w/white families adopting black children, or homosexual couples adopting children period... I just look at them and smile-- better for a child to be in a LOVING, ACCEPTING home than somewhere else is my philosophy

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Totally !!!

As for ease (availability, that is) of adopting deaf children, there are scores of them worldwide. If anyone is interested in adopting an international deaf child, contact your state's family services division. In Minnesota, where I live, Children's Home Society of Minnesota is licensed by the Department of Human Services and has a full "yearbook" of photos of international children waiting to be adopted, and it lists what disabilities, if any, they have, so if the child is deaf, it says so. They operate on an income sliding scale for adoption expenses. Not trying to advocate the CHS of MN, just using them as an example because I imagine most states have a similar agency as such.

AlleyCat said:

Totally !!!

As for ease (availability, that is) of adopting deaf children, there are scores of them worldwide. If anyone is interested in adopting an international deaf child, contact your state's family services division. In Minnesota, where I live, Children's Home Society of Minnesota is licensed by the Department of Human Services and has a full "yearbook" of photos of international children waiting to be adopted, and it lists what disabilities, if any, they have, so if the child is deaf, it says so. They operate on an income sliding scale for adoption expenses. Not trying to advocate the CHS of MN, just using them as an example because I imagine most states have a similar agency as such.

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Our state has a program for Special Needs Adoptions which includes all sorts of 'special needs' including age, race and sibling groups... it also has kiddos who are legally available for adoption that are special needs due to issues such as vision, hearing, physical abilities... AND the adoptive parents pay ZERO to adopt!

Adamsmomma....you've actually been told you were crazy to adopt a kid with a relatively mild disabilty?!?! I can understand that reaction if you'd adopted a kid with a profound disabilty or a kid who was severely multihandicapped (ie the kind of kid where they live in a pediatric nursing home) But a kid who's "just dhh?" Too many people just want designer superficallly perfect high achiever kids.......I remember on a list hearing abt a mom whining b/c their kid didn't have blue eyes.....sigh.

deafdyke said:

Adamsmomma....you've actually been told you were crazy to adopt a kid with a relatively mild disabilty?!?! I can understand that reaction if you'd adopted a kid with a profound disabilty or a kid who was severely multihandicapped (ie the kind of kid where they live in a pediatric nursing home) But a kid who's "just dhh?" Too many people just want designer superficallly perfect high achiever kids.......I remember on a list hearing abt a mom whining b/c their kid didn't have blue eyes.....sigh.

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YUP... and at that time we didn't realize Adam had many 'mild' disabilities-- he was still tiny then... the one we were for sure of was his DHH issues... he was born w/a virus that caused his brain to form differently-- and it lead to his hearing loss, vision issues, muscle tone issues, epilepsy, and behavior issues... but to look at him, or even know him-- most people don't realize he's got anything wrong w/him-- it's NEVER slowed him down-- and I refuse to let him pity himself for it-- he's the little class clown, and the little class bully at times LOL

But seriously, I was asked "Why on earth would you chose a baby with special needs??? There are plenty of 'other kids' out there"... my response... "I didn't chose him, he choose me!!! AND most kids who come out of foster care have SOME type of special needs!!" and ended the convo there... it's crazy-- people can be so judgemental when things aren't as they think they should be! :roll::roll:

deafdyke said:

Adamsmomma....you've actually been told you were crazy to adopt a kid with a relatively mild disabilty?!?! I can understand that reaction if you'd adopted a kid with a profound disabilty or a kid who was severely multihandicapped (ie the kind of kid where they live in a pediatric nursing home) But a kid who's "just dhh?" Too many people just want designer superficallly perfect high achiever kids.......I remember on a list hearing abt a mom whining b/c their kid didn't have blue eyes.....sigh.

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YUP... and at that time we didn't realize Adam had many 'mild' disabilities-- he was still tiny then... the one we were for sure of was his DHH issues... he was born w/a virus that caused his brain to form differently-- and it lead to his hearing loss, vision issues, muscle tone issues, epilepsy, and behavior issues... but to look at him, or even know him-- most people don't realize he's got anything wrong w/him-- it's NEVER slowed him down-- and I refuse to let him pity himself for it-- he's the little class clown, and the little class bully at times LOL

But seriously, I was asked "Why on earth would you chose a baby with special needs??? There are plenty of 'other kids' out there"... my response... "I didn't chose him, he choose me!!! AND most kids who come out of foster care have SOME type of special needs!!" and ended the convo there... it's crazy-- people can be so judgemental when things aren't as they think they should be! :roll::roll:

So is Adam multiple issues but mildly multiple issues? Like basicly dhh but like he has CP too? I KNOW....and I hear you totally! The general public is SO out of touch with what kids with disabilites can do. It's like they think "special needs" and automaticly think that all kids with disabilites are really hard to take care of.

deafdyke said:

So is Adam multiple issues but mildly multiple issues? Like basicly dhh but like he has CP too? I KNOW....and I hear you totally! The general public is SO out of touch with what kids with disabilites can do. It's like they think "special needs" and automaticly think that all kids with disabilites are really hard to take care of.

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Yeah similar to CP but instead of having a lack of oxygen to the brain his birthmother had a virus that caused his brain to grow differently... so with OT, and PT (which he exceeded goals at 18 mo) and now a behavioral therapist he's doing wonderful in those aspects, and compensates in all areas, especially his vision.

Shoot here a black male child over the age of 2 in the foster/adoptive system is deemed 'special' because they're less likely to be adopted... so are older kids regardless of race and kids in sibling groups of two or more... so I encourage people to check out the 'special needs kids' all the time...

Of course there are some medically fragile kids as well, I was actually lucky Adams brain issues aren't worse because of the virus...

adamsmomma said:

yeah similar to cp but instead of having a lack of oxygen to the brain his birthmother had a virus that caused his brain to grow differently... So with ot, and pt (which he exceeded goals at 18 mo) and now a behavioral therapist he's doing wonderful in those aspects, and compensates in all areas, especially his vision.

Shoot here a black male child over the age of 2 in the foster/adoptive system is deemed 'special' because they're less likely to be adopted... So are older kids regardless of race and kids in sibling groups of two or more... So i encourage people to check out the 'special needs kids' all the time...

Of course there are some medically fragile kids as well, i was actually lucky adams brain issues aren't worse because of the virus...

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cmv?

faire_jour said:

cmv?

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Yup!

Ha... that's exactly what I was thinking....and I remember reading that it's a common cause of deafness. (basicly today's version of rubella babies) It drives me INSANE when people equate all special needs with the kind of kids who are profoundly and severely multiply disabled! (the kind where kids live in nursing homes) Then again, it does seem like the kind of person who does that, tends to either have not had a lot of exposure to people with disabilites or are very superfical. Or they might even be almost literally mentally affected themselves. :roll: (don't even get me started on my experainces with stupid kids who thought I was retarded even thou I was talking to them in a HONORS Latin Class, or I was on a field trip for the LD kids for colleges.....:roll

deafdyke said:

Ha... that's exactly what I was thinking....and I remember reading that it's a common cause of deafness. (basicly today's version of rubella babies) It drives me INSANE when people equate all special needs with the kind of kids who are profoundly and severely multiply disabled! (the kind where kids live in nursing homes) Then again, it does seem like the kind of person who does that, tends to either have not had a lot of exposure to people with disabilites or are very superfical. Or they might even be almost literally mentally affected themselves. :roll: (don't even get me started on my experainces with stupid kids who thought I was retarded even thou I was talking to them in a HONORS Latin Class, or I was on a field trip for the LD kids for colleges.....:roll

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Ugh ignorance about kids w/special needs or adults for that matter just annoys me to no end... its not contagious! I know I've learned so much by having my little SN Monkey... he's taught me how to find joy in the simplest thing, how to celebrate each 'PEBBLE' he overcomes, how to love unconditionally and he's taught me patience lol (tested it a few times too!!)

adamsmomma said:

ugh ignorance about kids w/special needs or adults for that matter just annoys me to no end... Its not contagious! I know i've learned so much by having my little sn monkey... He's taught me how to find joy in the simplest thing, how to celebrate each 'pebble' he overcomes, how to love unconditionally and he's taught me patience lol (tested it a few times too!!)

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soooo cute!

Adamsmomma said:

Yup!

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But he isn't profoundly affected? CMV is quite the monster, it can do nothing all the way to death. I know a few parents whose kiddos are deaf from it, I can't imagine the guilt and feelings that would go along with all of that (know that it was avoidable, etc). I'm so glad he is doing well!!!

faire_jour said:

But he isn't profoundly affected? CMV is quite the monster, it can do nothing all the way to death. I know a few parents whose kiddos are deaf from it, I can't imagine the guilt and feelings that would go along with all of that (know that it was avoidable, etc). I'm so glad he is doing well!!!

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Well FJ since most people don't even know what CMV is and most are asymptomatic when affected, its not necessarily something that you can prevent... I'm sure his birthmother had no symptoms other than maybe flu like feelings but she was preg, so whose to say she even noticed. If I hadn't got quite ill after he puked in my mouth (my fault for raising him over my head) we would probably still be trying to determine what caused his brain differences. My physician said in over 20 yrs of practice I was the first case she had ever seen active. The ID said I got a huge live dose therefore making me very sick, as most who are exposed don't have a clue.

He's doing exceptional as his DP calls him 'his little miracle baby' but intervention and hard work have helped too.

Adamsmomma said:

Well FJ since most people don't even know what CMV is and most are asymptomatic when affected, its not necessarily something that you can prevent... I'm sure his birthmother had no symptoms other than maybe flu like feelings but she was preg, so whose to say she even noticed. If I hadn't got quite ill after he puked in my mouth (my fault for raising him over my head) we would probably still be trying to determine what caused his brain differences. My physician said in over 20 yrs of practice I was the first case she had ever seen active. The ID said I got a huge live dose therefore making me very sick, as most who are exposed don't have a clue.

He's doing exceptional as his DP calls him 'his little miracle baby' but intervention and hard work have helped too.

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Oh, I'm not saying that it is actually preventable, but you know how Mommies blame themselves for everything!

(My daughter was a NICU baby and we are so happy she is doing great too. We really believed that she was going to die, and now she is perfect!)