JamieLynn

Last night I was watching a documentary about the following subject:

What should your children be calling you? ("you" as in "parent")

I was pretty surprised to learn that quite a few kids called their parents by their given name. I could understand where they were coming from, when the parents explained, that the kids just caught it off from other people calling the parents by their given name.

They mainly seemed to be shrugging it off because personally I would feel "offended" if my kids wouldn't call me mum or mummy. I can't give an explanation as to why I feel this way either; probably just because I'd just want/expect them to refer to me as mum and because I would be the mum after all

What do you think? Or do you think that their is an age that you would agree your child to call you by your given name? *shrug*

It was quite a documentary (not a debate or talk show...)

ETA: If the parent is a step-mother/step-father I can totally understand the child calling her/him by their given name

Deafness

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Lighthouse77

our kid call us mom and dad. When he was a toddler, it used to be mama and dada, then as he grew older, it was mommy and daddy. It was so cute.


mummy reminds me of Egyptian mummy. I could never figure out why some kids all their mother, mummy.

Nor why aunt is pronounced as Ant instead of AUnt.

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Lighthouse77

oh, I think some people prefer their given name because they feel old if they were called mom or dad. Or they think it would embarrass their child if everyone knew that's his parents. I'm sure there are other reasons, but I think those would be the main two reasons because my grandma did not like us calling her grandma. We had to give her a nickname.

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rockin'robin

IMO....it's lack of respect...and some people that don't want to be called "grandma"...to them, it makes them feel "old"....so it's "grammy" or "gram" or "nanny"....nothing wrong with that...but for a child to call his real parents by their first names? No....not gonna happen in my house!

Whenever I introduce my girlfriends to my sons, I always say, "This is Ms Cindy, or Ms Annette"...and they are expected to say that, same as for any men...."This is Mr Bob", etc.

Babyblue

My kids usually call me "Mom" and when they want something they call me "Mommy"


Seen older children when they get mad they do out of disrespect call their parents by their first name. Or call them "mother"/ "father"

Guess it would depend on what the parents allow. What ever floats their boat. Each family is different on traditions.


If my kids call me by my first name.. I would consider it not to be appropriate.

JamieLynn

One thing I remember for sure that none of the couples were talking about tradition.

One mother pointed out having troubles with her eldest son who started calling her by her given name, hence the little ones picked up on it.

She shrugged it off saying stuff like "What do you want me to do? I keep telling them differently but they don't listen to me" -> that clearly is a sign of no respect!!!!!

If I were 50 years old and had a child (adopted or whatever) i'd want it to call me mum or mummy... whatever it is... no matter what the age gap is. It would be my child and I would be the mother...

@ RR: I think the "Ms Cindy" you're trying to teach to your child is very sweet. At least it sounds to me in English. But in French it totally sounds old-fashioned Guess there's also a difference from one country to another (maybe traditional related *shrug* or what used to be and no longer is being used...)

shel90

My son, for some reason, keeps calling my hubby Mac, not daddy.

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KristinaB

My kids have always called us either "mom" or "dad". My daughter has speech problems and as a toddler could not say "grandma" so my mother was "mom-mom" and MIL is "nana". Now she says gramma since she can't do the "d" in the middle of a word. Her speech issues are re-surfacing.

Lighthouse- I grew up calling my Aunts (ant). I'm not sure why it was pronounced that way, but that was the way I learned. My sister-in-law (cringe-shudder) says aunt "AUnt".

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Miss-Delectable

I'd do something similiar. I'd call her mum then when I want her attention right now I'd call her momma! That'd get her attention fast

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rockin'robin

It's used a lot here in the South (I believe)....and is much more respectful. I just don't feel children, even teenagers should call an adult by their first names.....It also makes me feel a little "special" when some of my boys' friends call me "Ms Jan"....(but I'm sure they've called me "Ms Meanie" at times too!

Frisky Feline

I would like that if my kiddos call me, mom, mommy, or mother rather than my name.

CJB

I don't really care what my kids call me, whether they call me "dad" or "CJB". To be honest I don't get what's so disrespectful about using a parent's given name... at least they're not calling me "assface"!

I'll feel really weird when other people's kids start calling me Mr. B or Mr. CJ, which is bound to happen where I live...luckily I look 12 so it shouldn't happen anytime soon.

JamieLynn

Interesting...

Curious: have you ever asked him why? How does your hubby feel about it? Though I don't know your husband's real name, I guess that Mac is also just a nickname... What do you think about it? Does is bother you or not? Feel free to answer or not...

As said, I'm just curious and not judgmental

LOL @ your Ms Meanie comment... yeah... probably But I think it is very nice for your boys' friends to refer to you with that name (Ms Jan I mean)

See, different kind of opinions here... I find it rather disrespectful if children call their parents by their given name. Wouldn't CJB rather be a nickname than your given name (taken that I don't know what your real name is and which you won't have to divulge either)?

Reba

I'm thrilled to be called "Mom" by my daughter and son-in-law, and "Grammy" by my grandsons. I wouldn't want them to call me by my first name.

I was proud to become a mother and grandmother, so why wouldn't I want to be called by those titles rather than my first name?

It seems to me like a denial of the mothering/grandmothering roles to want to use the first name instead.

CJB

I'm just using CJB to replace my real name for the purposes of discussion online.

I've come across a lot of people that find it disrespectful. Just out of curiosity, what about it makes it feel disrespectful to you? Does it just rub you the wrong way or is there a deeper cultural meaning I'm missing?

Tousi

Why do they call you by your name? Are you their natural mother?

Reba

Personally, I feel I am "Reba" to hundreds of people but I'm "Mom" and "Grammy" to only a few special people.

rockin'robin

My adopted sons call me "Mom"...so do my 2 natural children....sometimes it's "Mamma"....When they are angry/upset, they call me "Mother"!

Would you introduce the President as "This is Barrack"?...Don't think so! And out of respect for your parents, it should be "This is my mother/Mom/Mamma" etc., same as for ur father/grandparents/family members.

When you do adopt children, legally you are their natural mother, and ur name is on their birth certificates. All 3 of my boys (adopted), I'm their legal mother, by law. They have a choice whether to change their last names to be the same as yours, or keep the last name they have.

Frisky Feline

i think you misread my post. lol i said i rather my kids to call me "mom" than my name. So far my kids haven't call my real name. If they call my name instead of calling me, as mom then i will know if there is something wrong with my kids upsetting with me. So far, they are still small kiddos who still call me mommy.

Tousi

Oh, ok, that is much clearer, sorry. "Rather" indicates/says/suggests they are not calling you Mommy.....

Frisky Feline

Gotcha, thats what I thought. glad you point this out, anyway.

JamieLynn

No nothing cultural there for me... but I think Reba gave a very special meaning to the word MUM / DAD (whether that is mama, mummy, papa, daddy, ...) You are proud to be a mum/dad after all It's just the feeling that I have...

If parents don't mind their children calling them by their given name so be it. Everybody has the right to pick whichever they like.

The thing is that in the documentary that one mother clearly felt offended when her 12 year old (I think he was 12) started calling her by her given name. She didn't like him doing it and she couldn't understand why her son changed his attitude. I think for him it also had to do with some teenager rebelling or something along the line

Jiro

"mum/mummy" - it's English
in America - it's "mom/mommy"

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Jiro

good lord! I wouldn't like it if my own kids call me by my name. it would break my heart

interesting fact for ya'all -
-in Korea... the young'ins do not call the elders or older peers by their names... including siblings and cousins.
-The mother does not address other mother by their name as well. For example, if this mother wants to talk to Reba, she addresses her with Reba's child name plus "mom" like this - "John's Mom"
-Informally... it's fine for friend to address his/her friend by their name. In Korean language - there are 2 kinds.... the informal and formal.... almost like Spanish for male and female version (ie. amigo - amiga)
-in a group of friends - each friend's age vary so usually the younger one may not address the older friend by his name out of respect

Some of my Korean friends and my brother's Korean friends do not address me by my name

I think they should just relax and loosen up!

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JamieLynn

Interesting, yet rather confusing Really wonder how the first one is supposed to work *shrug*

So what do your brother's friends call ya??? Jiro?

Babyblue

My kids call one set of grandparents Me-Me and Papaw the other set is Grandmama and Papa.


I called my grandparents. Grandma and Granddaddy. The other set were called Maw-maw and Paw-paw.

Jiro

when addressing directly to older peer, you use the proper term for it depending on gender.

For ie -
if a young male addresses to older male - he says "h-yong"
if a young female addresses to older male - she says "oo-bah"
if a young male addresses to older female - he says "noo-nah"
if a young female addresses to older female - she says "un-ni"

and... more headache...

if a nephew/niece addresses to aunt - he/she says "ee-mo"
if a nephew/niece addresses to one's uncle's wife - he/she says "soong-mo"
if a grandchild addresses to grandma - he/she says "hal-muh-nee"
if a relative addresses to uncle (dad's side) - he/she says "sam-choon"
if a relative addresses to uncle (mom's side) - he/she says "kun-abaji"

(and this is barely just a scratch on the surface)

My brother and his friends address me as "h-yong". My old Korean best friend addresses me that way too.

I address my cousins/relatives in Korea as above but to my cousins who are very Californian - I address them by their names.

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Babyblue

Wow! So each culture pretty much has a respectable name for their elders.

CJB

I would probably introduce him as "This is Barack Obama, the president of the United States." Likewise I would introduce my parents as "this is my mother/father, Full Name."

I guess it's just different points of view.

CJB