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Unread 01-05-2012, 07:13 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Your point of view on marriage. Deaf or hearing?

Hi, I'm currently a hearing high school student taking ASL 1. I'm not too fluent with it yet, but I hope to be and the Deaf culture absolutely fascinates me. I would love to know your thoughts on marriage. Are you open to marrying a hearing person who knows ASL, or would you rather marry someone who is deaf? Thanks so much for your answers!
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Unread 01-05-2012, 08:18 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Unread 01-05-2012, 08:34 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Well - if I was really thinking this through and knew then what I know now, then I would say deaf. Not to say that I don't love my hubby, but he is hearing and doesn't understand.
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Unread 01-05-2012, 08:36 PM   #4 (permalink)
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culturally Deaf whether he can hear or not.
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Unread 01-05-2012, 08:42 PM   #5 (permalink)
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I'm an "in-betweener", late deafened. I married a hearing man and divorsed. I"ve dated deaf from birth males, none worked out....Would it be nice if I met a late-deafened or HOH guy?...Maybe.
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Unread 01-05-2012, 09:02 PM   #6 (permalink)
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dhh guy, or hearing or dhh girl. I cannot hear hearing guys without my hearing aids LOL
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Unread 01-05-2012, 09:32 PM   #7 (permalink)
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culturally Deaf whether he can hear or not.
I really appreciate your response! It has a lot of meaning for only a few words. Thank you!
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Unread 01-06-2012, 02:46 PM   #8 (permalink)
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culturally Deaf whether he can hear or not.
Same (although I only do long-term relationships.)
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Unread 01-07-2012, 07:55 AM   #9 (permalink)
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It should not matter whether the person is deaf or not. I have fascinations about cars with turbocharged engine, cats and ferrets that can use ASL, and bikes. It's about finding similar interests, more than whether person is deaf or not. Each person is different, though.
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Unread 01-07-2012, 09:18 AM   #10 (permalink)
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culturally Deaf whether he can hear or not.
I agree.
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Unread 01-07-2012, 10:24 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Hi, I'm currently a hearing high school student taking ASL 1. I'm not too fluent with it yet, but I hope to be and the Deaf culture absolutely fascinates me. I would love to know your thoughts on marriage. Are you open to marrying a hearing person who knows ASL, or would you rather marry someone who is deaf? Thanks so much for your answers!
It makes no difference to me. All that matters is the connection and the willingness to make communication a priority. In this regard, English and ASL are no different. They are just tools to convey messages.

I'm in a committed relationship with a hearing woman. She is perfectly happy to learn sign language and do what it takes, just as I'm perfectly happy to do my own part to make communication work well.
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Unread 01-07-2012, 10:25 AM   #12 (permalink)
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culturally Deaf whether he can hear or not.
Same for me.
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Unread 01-07-2012, 10:33 AM   #13 (permalink)
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cats and ferrets that can use ASL
This I would like to see...
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Unread 01-08-2012, 01:28 AM   #14 (permalink)
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A deaf spouse

I was married 2 1/2 years to a younger woman. After 1 1/2 years she liked complaining about my poor hearing. After 2 years she used it as an excuse to mess around with guys. Really it was just her excuse. Given the chance I would love to meet and marry a nice deaf woman.
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Unread 01-08-2012, 03:41 PM   #15 (permalink)
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I was married 2 1/2 years to a younger woman. After 1 1/2 years she liked complaining about my poor hearing. After 2 years she used it as an excuse to mess around with guys. Really it was just her excuse. Given the chance I would love to meet and marry a nice deaf woman.
That's just awful. I'm sorry you went through that. Here's to finding happiness, mate.
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Unread 01-08-2012, 08:29 PM   #16 (permalink)
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I was married 2 1/2 years to a younger woman. After 1 1/2 years she liked complaining about my poor hearing. After 2 years she used it as an excuse to mess around with guys. Really it was just her excuse. Given the chance I would love to meet and marry a nice deaf woman.
That's really horrible. I am so sorry.

I hope you find someone wonderful!

Jen M.
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Unread 01-08-2012, 10:58 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Hi, I'm currently a hearing high school student taking ASL 1. I'm not too fluent with it yet, but I hope to be and the Deaf culture absolutely fascinates me. I would love to know your thoughts on marriage. Are you open to marrying a hearing person who knows ASL, or would you rather marry someone who is deaf? Thanks so much for your answers!
marriage not on my mind now. but i rather marry deaf bec easy communication and i want man have same background easy understand me. i not trust to hearing men.
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Unread 01-15-2012, 06:08 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Well - if I was really thinking this through and knew then what I know now, then I would say deaf. Not to say that I don't love my hubby, but he is hearing and doesn't understand.
That goes the same for me, too. My hearing husband has arthritis in his hands and does not understand why I could not hear him, even with one hearing aid. Geeze. He only learns a few signs so far.
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Unread 01-16-2012, 07:27 PM   #19 (permalink)
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I'm an "in-betweener", late deafened. I married a hearing man and divorsed. I"ve dated deaf from birth males, none worked out....Would it be nice if I met a late-deafened or HOH guy?...Maybe.
Why did none of the deaf men work out? I have a sneaking suspicion that I can answer that question, but I'll let you go ahead.
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Unread 01-16-2012, 07:50 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Why did none of the deaf men work out? I have a sneaking suspicion that I can answer that question, but I'll let you go ahead.
Well, a number of things...Lack of common interests....education....misunderstandings...bein g oral/deaf versus pure ASL...inasmuch, I did try to find a common ground for communication, i.e. ...compromising and learning from each other.

So what's ur "sneaking suspicion"?
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Unread 01-18-2012, 10:36 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Well - if I was really thinking this through and knew then what I know now, then I would say deaf. Not to say that I don't love my hubby, but he is hearing and doesn't understand.
Same here. Hubby is hearing but there are times when he can't communicate. On the other hand, Maybe his lack of communication skills is more of a male charcteristic. LOL We have been married 25 years and communication is more than just speaking or signing. I hate to put limitations on people such as: deaf marry deaf only or Deaf marry Deaf only, Black people marry black people, white people marry white so so forth and not to forget the many religions. People are what make anything work.
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Unread 01-22-2012, 07:08 PM   #22 (permalink)
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I think I believe in deaf relationships. Because your deaf boyfriend/girlfriend would understand you a whole lot better than a hearing person, because they know what we go through with everyday. Plus, sometimes, deaf guys can be sweet and lovable than hearing guys.. (no offense guys!)
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Unread 01-23-2012, 12:15 PM   #23 (permalink)
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Sure, i could marry a deaf man. I doubt there would be any communication problems between us.
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Unread 01-23-2012, 12:18 PM   #24 (permalink)
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Oops...i think the OP was addressing deafies only. My bad.
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Unread 02-01-2012, 07:20 PM   #25 (permalink)
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I was raised as if I could hear (lipreading only, never was taught ASL, wasn't taken to a proper audiologist until I insisted on it after my lack of hearing cost me a job as a teen) due to my parents being in denial. So a short while ago I would have said I'd be more likely to end up with someone hearing because I wasn't raised with the Deaf culture. However, I just met and hit it off really well with a cute bi guy (I'm gay) whose experience with being deaf and ways of coping are very much like mine, and it was the most amazing thing ever being with someone who knew exactly what I was talking about without my having to explain.
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Unread 02-03-2012, 10:49 PM   #26 (permalink)
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There is something to be said for having a partner that understands you.
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Unread 02-03-2012, 11:04 PM   #27 (permalink)
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I have been married for almost 25 years. Recently deaf. Hubby and I just "get" each other. There is something to be said about being married to your best friend. Life and marriage gets better with age. When someone honors your vows that is all that matters. In sickness and in health.......
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Unread 02-03-2012, 11:06 PM   #28 (permalink)
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I have been married for almost 25 years. Recently deaf. Hubby and I just "get" each other. There is something to be said about being married to your best friend. Life and marriage gets better with age. When someone honors your vows that is all that matters. In sickness and in health.......
I had that for a while. But I have a good sense that I will have it again maybe soon?
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Unread 02-04-2012, 01:26 AM   #29 (permalink)
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My husband is hearing, it does make clear communication very, very difficult sometimes as his signing is even worse than mine. lol

We married before I lost all of my hearing. Due to our age he is becoming HOH and is getting it.

Our deaf friends sign "communicate" and drop one hand from the thumb as if it was a broken hinge. It means that our communication is "broken". We get that a LOT. lol
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