Hannah louise

Hi,
i'm 14 and I have a littke nine yr old sister (she wears a CI and I'm a hoh). My little sister has being through a lot (with the CI and stuff), were quite close and she learns alot from me (':
she has absolutely no faith in herself, she very, very shy, and she is super quiet. She is getting badly bullied by the girls in her class, simply cause she's too quiet to speak up... Man I really wanna kick their arses and show 'em how precious and wonderful she is!(:
when we'd see anybody from her class in town or whatever, she'll go hide or be really red. All the girls in her class are super cocky and horrible. My mum said to me that the penny finally dropped with me and i finally realise that I am as good as everyone else, so would i try and help my little sister.
How can i help my little sister in the best way that i can? Plese help!

Deafness

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Dixie

Find the little twits and give them a good 'come to Jesus' meeting. Tell them they are the ones who dont understand. Their words are hurtful and not called for. Tell them the reason your sister is quiet is because she can't hear and there's nothing anyone can do about it. Her CI is just like a pair of glasses, they help but they aren't a cure. There's no use in bullying her about it. Then proceed to let them know that you will treat them the way they treat your sister. Scare the daylights out of them.

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Jiro

sweet jesus!

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blondon704

Agree with Dixie^^ I was trying my best not to resort to violence in my answer but have to share. My oldest daughter is 6 her younger brother (3) was outside playing with her and her best friend who lives next door. The little girl next door told her (my daughter) that her brother was stupid because he couldn't talk, and my little girl whipped around and looked at her and said "if you ever say something like that again I will slap you like the wind and eat your face like a tiger" which of course made the little girl cry but it got her point across.

Your little sister is very lucky for having a big sister who is willing to take care of her.

whatdidyousay!

What is the school doing about this?? Your parents should be going to school and talking to the teachers and principle . The bullies parents need to be told their brats are and if they do not stop charges will be press against them . It time to turn the tables on these bullies and give them a taste of their own medicine! You need to tell an adult that you trust if your parents do not step in.


This is a link to help deaf people in Ireland , it may help you help some help for your sister.


http://www.irishdeaf.com/?p=6910

mbrek

I agree with Blondon704. As tough as it is, she will need to find some way to be more assertive. Going to the teachers can only do so much - little girls can find many ways to be mean and cruel while others aren't looking.

I don't know what you have available where you live, but some sort of self defense class might be a good idea, maybe even take it together. I'm not suggesting violence, but the self-confidence that can be gained by it might do wonders for her.

Good luck!

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posts from hell

Give her a stun gun.

Dixie

Or better yet, hit them over the head with the bible - literally.

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Oh, you will. It is all a dream and since matter cannot be created nor destroyed, the dreams must be real in all their myriad forms. -Beowulf
This Delicate Thing God Has Made
The world is measured in peasants; smaller than a unicorn but, bigger than a tidbit!

Dixie

I suggest using the Catholic bible, it contains the Apocrypha. It means it's thicker.

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Oh, you will. It is all a dream and since matter cannot be created nor destroyed, the dreams must be real in all their myriad forms. -Beowulf
This Delicate Thing God Has Made
The world is measured in peasants; smaller than a unicorn but, bigger than a tidbit!

mbrek

Haha! This actually happened to a friend of mine in our confirmation class! Somehow the pastor didn't respond well to goofing off during *serious* religious training.

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deafdyke

Hmmmmm........she's functionally HOH too? Are you guys near a school with a Deaf Unit or a Deaf School? Unfortunatly there's nothing that you can really do to try to get through to snotty girls. I really think she sounds like a typical mainstreamed dhh kid.....and would prolly benifit from attending a school speciicly for dhh kids or at least a deaf unit. Maybe also going to a summer program might be good too....She could learn ISL.....It's funny but the very same girls who make fun of us for our voices and being HOH, are the very same ones who think sign is very cool.

deafdyke

Here's a link on Irish Deaf Schools Schooling | irish deaf kids
If your parents are insistant that your sister be educated orally, maybe they could send her to Mary Hare or even overseas to Clarke School for the Deaf here, in the states.

deafdyke

AND social issues are a legit reason for kids to attend deaf schools or units.

JabberJay

Hit the girls with a fish...any large fish will do.
I like cod but my sister is partial to tuna.

You may get in trouble but the sad truth is schools in general have their hands tied.by the law. Fighting back is a quick but dangerous way to fix it, but in some places legal action for harassment with a good lawyer works as well.

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radioman

good grief!!! you really should be speaking up to the teachers/principal. They are the ones you need to tell and let THEM deal with it. Be sure to report ALL retaliations from them to teachers/principals. Be sure you do this privately to teachers etc.

Beowulf

And tell them you will visit them during a full moon some night.

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Hannah louise

Thanks guys, for all your ideas!
I especially like the bible one!!(;
We are about 3 hrs away from the nearest deaf/hoh boarding school and mom so would not send her away for 5 days at a time (she'd miss her too much)- not a hope in hell!
And my mom and dad know about the bullying, and the teachers.
The teachers said that could not do anything about the bullying.
It goes without saying that this is very bad teaching (where i live, it is extremely difficult to get a teacher sacked. Even if a million ppl protested against that techer, s/he still wouldn't be fired.), but we don't want to move her to a different school cause that would cause her extra trauma and bullying would probaly start up in the other school aswell.
Also, she is not keen on taking up any extra-ciracular activities.

mbrek

Well, since all options are ruled out - she'll get picked on until she stands up for herself. I was a shy, picked on kid - so I know first hand it can be tough. But I also know that if she wants things to be different, she'll have to be willing to actually action of some sorts.

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cmdrwhitewolf

I know from some hard personal experiences that teachers & Principals don't always help in situations like this. Sometimes sticking up for oneself is the best solution.

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RabidSquirrel

Give her some confidence boost and tell her it's OK to stand up firmly for herself. I bet it sucks watching your lil sister getting terrorized by her peers.

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deafdyke

Oh I figured the Deaf School placement would be a bit too far away. It's too bad thou that students can't trial at Deaf Schools. Maybe when she's a bit older, like a teen. Aren't there any Deaf Units? A Deaf Unit is a Dhh day program housed at a regular school. It's a lot better then the mainstream...What about summer camps/schools or the like? And yes I hear you..........bullying is so swept under the rug Especially when it's more like an oscratization thing rather then full on bullying.....I dunno, if the new school had a dhh program the bullying might not be as bad....b/c trust me...bullying is BAD!

mjorr

my first thaughts were what is the schooling doing about it, since it is such a young age. if the school refused to do anything or says they cant you need to take it to the school board, maybe go to them with your friends and their parents at their next meeting to really stand out as a group against whats happening. and if they dont agree or do anything about it from there it could become a legal issue actually. becasue the school would be descriminating against her. or just poorly opperating an education facility making an unsafe enviroment for their students. if it were to go that far you could sue the school district

my cousin almost did when she was in middle school. my uncle ran the local tv station and she had her own show interview public figures, musicians and things like that. kids in the public school made fun of her and the teachers joined in. luckily my cousin didnt sue them for all they had. instead they made an agreement to pay for her to attend a private school in town for the rest of the year ( the top midle and high school in the state) after that year her parents kept her there and paid out of pocket to keep her there becasue of the amazing education she was getting.

but other than that make sure to keep her attitude in a good place. let her know that the childred who pick on her are only missing out and when she truely feels that way it will show and the other kids will notice and bejealous of her happyness.

mjorr

but if it wasnt illeagal i would teach her to whoop the $h*t3 out of them. but thats bad morals. it would be sweet justice, but still wrong.

Jiro

whoop it!

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deafdyke

Hannah.....I've got an AWESOME idea! How about starting a Dhh social group for your area? You know.....meet other dhh kids and teens and learn ISL and things like that? That would really help a lot!

deafdyke

and Hannah, are there summer camps or summer school sessions where you can send your sister? Trust me, as I've said repeatly, you do not want her to grow up with stunted social-emotional abilty....and that's an area that is SO negelected in mainstreamed dhh (and other mainstreamd kids with disabilties)
I really wonder if your parents might have really thought this out.....if it's this bad socially NOW...imagine how bad it's gonna be when she's a teen? Do they want her to never have had a real friend, (not to mention never having a real girlfriend/boyfriend) to spend her entire social life talking on the computer rather then in real life, to do all kinds of things? Social issues are very important...maybe you can get a social group started up...and that could help a LOT...and maybe when she's older she could go off to school or something.

Berry

Unfortunately my experience has been that the teachers choose the victim the bullies pick on. They are an extension of the school system to enforce conformity where the teacher can not easily do so.

When I was a kid I would go to school. No one would notice I was left handed until some teacher would make a big thing of it. From then on I became a target.

When I was about 8 my best friend was CODA. He had no other friends. Why? Because the teacher singled him out in class as having "Deaf and Dumb" parents. But of course when she did so she told them "Not to" harass him about it.

As for the police they can only act on evidence and proof.

Bullying leaves little evidence or proof. But if YOUR parents seek out their parents for discussion -- The evidence is very strong that your parents attempted to intimidate them.

The days are gone when it is considered okay for a 14 yo to stick up for a 9 yo.

Unfortunately I could not and would not suggest to you what was suggested to my grand children, which would be bundling up like an Eskimo, putting your arms up boxer style and letting her plummet the daylights out of you until she has what it takes to do it to one of them. That might be misconstrued as condoning the idea there is a time and place for one to defend oneself, and I'm sure there is not.

Besides she would get into trouble, but likely not nearly the trouble you would get into for attempting to defend her.

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Audiofuzzy

Was your mom trying to fix the problem somehow actively herself?
Like going to school and demand from the teachers that your sister be protected?
Talk to the kids, talk to their parents?
What about your father?

What exactly are the kids doing to your sister? are they teasing her about the way she talk, or misses hearing words etc or something else?
perhaps talking to the homeroom teacher about doing a presentation about the CI and Deaf culture - how cool it is- would help?

Or they are teasing her about her appearance in general - the way she dresses, does her hair etc.
In that case I am sure some teen fashion mags would do wonders.
A makeover doesn't have to be expensive, just creative


Fuzzy

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Berry

In my culture a good mom does not go out and "actively fix the problem herself" nor does she teach her children to "run tattling to the authorities to save the day" every time they turn around.

A good mom teaches her children to solve their own problems their own way so they can grow up to be capable, competent, adults.

Unfortunately capable, competent, adults are becoming increasingly rare as we more and more become the children of Nanny Governments.

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Audiofuzzy

In this case, the situation looks like is going for quite a while, though.

There is a reason why the young poster is reaching out for help to AD.
Besides, there is another horrific and heartbreaking thread about deaf kids being bullied at schools, and if my memory serves me well,
it was exactly the parents who told the first thread's child to "deal with it", hmm.


Fuzzy

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A 'No' uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a 'Yes' merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble.
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