Why I don't have many friends(rant)

dereksbicycles

dereksbicycles

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One of my friends was organizing a group of people to go to baseball game. I was interested in going with my girlfriend. However, my girlfriend wanted 2 of her friends to go. She wanted me to pay for 2 of her friends. They'll pay back when they get money next week. I really don't want any part of this.

I asked how about just girlfriend and me? Apparently, it didn't work.

They said if I don't go, why not pay for my girlfriend and her friends? The 2 friends will pay back. Umm, why don't they understand why I don't want to go in the first place?

I kind of feel guilty for not paying for them even though I'm sure they'll pay back.

Sometimes I wonder why I don't have many friends. This is one reason.
 
You are not required to pay for anyone. I do the same, if I don't have it, short on funds or just struggling to get by...I never trust the payback from a friend of a friend (even happens with my wife) then ends up being a gift...and out of my pocket.
 
oh my god. You guys just got got together recently. Tell her that why don't they ask someone else to borrow and pay back to them. I wouldn't dare to ask my spouse to pay friends if spouse dont feel comfortable about it.
 
You need to lay out some ground rules. She already moved a bad roommate in that she had to get rid of.

If the friends can't pay, they should just skip that outing.

When she is asking you to do all this for her friends, it seems to me like she is taking advantage of you.
 
dereksbicycles said:
One of my friends was organizing a group of people to go to baseball game. I was interested in going with my girlfriend. However, my girlfriend wanted 2 of her friends to go. She wanted me to pay for 2 of her friends. They'll pay back when they get money next week. I really don't want any part of this.

I asked how about just girlfriend and me? Apparently, it didn't work.

They said if I don't go, why not pay for my girlfriend and her friends? The 2 friends will pay back. Umm, why don't they understand why I don't want to go in the first place?

I kind of feel guilty for not paying for them even though I'm sure they'll pay back.

Sometimes I wonder why I don't have many friends. This is one reason.
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I just saw you two a few weeks ago. Things were good then. What's changed since then?
 
dereksbicycles said:
One of my friends was organizing a group of people to go to baseball game. I was interested in going with my girlfriend. However, my girlfriend wanted 2 of her friends to go. She wanted me to pay for 2 of her friends. They'll pay back when they get money next week. I really don't want any part of this.

I asked how about just girlfriend and me? Apparently, it didn't work.

They said if I don't go, why not pay for my girlfriend and her friends? The 2 friends will pay back. Umm, why don't they understand why I don't want to go in the first place?

I kind of feel guilty for not paying for them even though I'm sure they'll pay back.

Sometimes I wonder why I don't have many friends. This is one reason.
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No that is not want you do not have friends , you're a nice guy and some people try to take advantage of nice people b/c they think they're easy to use .You did nothing wrong , your g/f is the one totally in the wrong . She has no business asking you to pay for her two friends and I am sure they would NOT had pay back. Your g/f she sound very controlling and you have nothing to feel guilty about you did the right thing , you did not want any part of it and you had the guts to say "NO!" Don't let anyone tell you that you should had paid for the 2 users b/c it is want they 're .
The 2 girls are not your friends they're your g/f friends and your g/f does not sound like much of a friend to put you on the spot like that.

I did not see Bottesini comment until after I posted mine and I agree with her 100% that your g/f is trying to take advantage of you. This was to be a date with your g/f and I hate to say this but I find it odd that her wanted to bring 2 g/f friends on a date. You would had been out numbered , does your g/f like one of these women a lot ?
 
Thank for asking. She isn't working.

Things happen over course of relationship that makes me frustrated.
 
whatdidyousay! said:
No that is not want you do not have friends , you're a nice guy and some people try to take advance of nice people b/c they think they're easy to use .You did nothing wrong , your g/f is the one totally in the wrong . She has no business asking you to pay for her two friends and I am sure they would NOT had pay back. Your g/f she sound very controlling and you have nothing to feel guilty about you did the right thing , you did not want any part of it and you had the guts to say "NO!" Don't let anyone tell you that you should had paid for the 2 users b/c it is want they 're .
The 2 girls are not your friends they're your g/f friends and your g/f does not sound like much of a friend to put you on the spot like that.
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I did invite him to join me a couple of weeks ago at North Ave Beach for some fun, but he declined.
 
dereksbicycles said:
Thank for asking. She isn't working.

Things happen over course of relationship that makes me frustrated.
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I'm thinking you need to step away and take a breather. How about you join me downtown tomorrow? It'll be lots of fun, and you can forget your problems for a few hours.
 
dereksbicycles said:
Thank for asking. She isn't working.

Things happen over course of relationship that makes me frustrated.
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Im sorry.

I suggest you to follow your guts when you know you are right. If spouse gets upset with you and not reason with you.

relationship is supposed to be make a compromise and agreement, of course respect to each other.

Your spouse NEED to understand about paying issue. Money is NOT funny. Borrowing $$ can damage with friends, family, relatives and many people.
 
Thank you. We have Labor Day plans with my family that we made weeks ago. Once this is done, we'll discuss where we stands in relationship.

Thank you for the offer. I hope we get together soon.
 
dereksbicycles said:
Thank you. We have Labor Day plans with my family that we made weeks ago. Once this is done, we'll discuss where we stands in relationship.

Thank you for the offer. I hope we get together soon.
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All right. As for getting together, I'll see what I can do.
 
I'd help out a friend ( if I could but not a 'friend of a friend'. THEY should ask directly not how the girlfriend is doing it. I wonder truly what her motivation is for asking... it isn't always 'trying to take advantage of a nice guy' (but that's what happens MOST of the time).

I definitely would have a chat with her regarding the money thing...especially if she isn't working.
 
dereksbicycles said:
Thank for asking. She isn't working.

Things happen over course of relationship that makes me frustrated.
Click to expand...

Who is not working , your g/f? If she is not working that does not mean you have to pay for HER friends. Is she looking for work or just hanging around bumming off of you?
 
She does little work now and then around the house. She hopes to go back to school possibly next year.
 
Until she goes back to school next year (depending January or whenever), can't she even get a part-time job? I understand wanting to help your partner but heaven forbid my boyfriend doesn't go to school and isn't at least working part-time. His butt would be gone. :lol:

Doing chores around the house should be shared. Her only doing a few every now and then being unemployed is laziness (in my opinion).
 
Housework is part her duties of living there, but it sure doesn't pay the bills. You are good with spending your money wisely, sure don't need someone spending it for you.
 
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