your childhood about deaf/hoh issues

simple question

  • No

    Votes: 16 55.2%

  • Yes

    Votes: 8 27.6%

  • Sometimes

    Votes: 4 13.8%

  • Others ~ explain

    Votes: 1 3.4%
  • Total voters
    29
Frisky Feline

Frisky Feline

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jun 2, 2003
Messages
26,317
Reaction score
87
Curious,

did your parents or guardians or fosters ever tell you to hide your hearing loss at party, work, school or any places?
 
Opposite, I remember my father wanted to make sure hearing aids were visible so people would understand I could not hear.

I figured out as an adult after he was already dead it was probably because he did not want people to think I am retarded.
 
No way!! Complete opposite! My mom would either make me tell people (especially my teachers) that I am deaf and I need to look at their lips or she would tell them herself! I was so embarrassed but she was right. It made things easier in the long run.
 
Sometimes for me when my parents do that, it is usually my Dad, not my Mum so much. She more like what Daredevel7 said above.

When my Dad or my sister or other family member tells me don't tell, I just forget them and tell people myself! Nothing be ashamed of or anything.
 
My parents did not ask me to hide my deafness, and always tell me "You can do it yourself and talk to them on your own, you are a tough girl". even though I am an asl user.
 
Never!!! Instead my parents would tell them that I'm deaf, that they would need to look at me when they talk so I can read their lips clearly. They don't think being deaf is anything to be ashamed, instead they're quite proud that they have a child that is deaf and CAN talk.
 
I was to hide it from family members that came to visit, but allow anybody at school and church and such to know about it.
 
Nope, unless you count my Dad who tried to hide it from himself. He didn't believe that I was deaf and wouldn't even consider letting me get HA's for a while. He thought I was "faking it". :crazy:

My Dr. convinced him it would be impossible to replicate the results of several hearing tests over a years time period so I did get my aids about two years after they discovered my hearing loss.
 
Yes

My dad is the biggest ableist ever

I have quantified for TOD and large print/red paper accommodations type(NOT the full teacher of visual impairment) but dad had it exclude from my IEP

my cp is hard to hide but i was NEVER to use a chair (whatever)

my grandad is helping me out to set as a hoh/low vision + who uses speech/ nzsl pces duel print person

but some days what dad said still hurts
 
Bottesini said:
Opposite, I remember my father wanted to make sure hearing aids were visible so people would understand I could not hear.

I figured out as an adult after he was already dead it was probably because he did not want people to think I am retarded.
Click to expand...

People thought I was retarded when I was a child as I talked real loud and my speech was really poor as I did not get a HA until I was 7 years old. My dad called me a jackass!
 
wish some parents need to realize how sensitive words they use to their disabled kids.
 
No, but I was the one who hid it. They didn't encourage me to come out with my deafness either, they just left it alone. I still had IEP and interpreters in school, they knew of my deafness and still accommodated me. For the outside world, no one really noticed.
 
I was not aware of hiding my hearing loss or my deafness. No one told me to hide my deafness, not even my parents. Very interesting to read some of the posts here. But my parents tried hard to get me to talk like hearing person. I do noticed that some hearing people discriminated me when I could not get a job. :hmm:
 
inmate23 said:
Some parents dont understand this even after the kid ends up in foster care system
Click to expand...
I ended up in care because of emotional abuse(thanks dad) the only reason I ended up at dads was foster care fucked up the invention(they dont do they just rang dad the social worker who made that call was disciplined over that phone call) at mums

Frisky Feline said:
:( So parents need to be aware how disable kids feel by reading this thread since it is a public forum.
Click to expand...
 
My dad always told me growing up that when I'm looking for a job I should never mention it as it would hurt my chances of getting employment. My parents didn't allow me to socialize the way my brother did, they just wanted me to sit at home all the time (what would it have mattered anyway - I didn't have any friends other than the one or two from the church youth group). I think they were ashamed I might be found out as being d/hh and I would be shunned. I think they themselves shunned me in a way like having lower 'expectations' such as not expecting me to succeed, they did not expect me to do well enough to go to college. I've been told that due to this upbringing that I've come to have low expectations for myself even though I find myself dreaming of more.

However at the same time my parents would use my d/hh to embarass me. I was fitted with an ill-fitting HA in grade 9 and I didn't like wearing it but mom forced me to wear it from the time I got up until I went to bed despite it making my ear hurt and giving me headaches. She said I MUST wear it constantly to get used to it. She said that if I did not wear it she would have my dad announce to the ENTIRE school that I wear a HA despite they were the ones who opted to have a CIC HA.

To me it just felt like (and still feels like) a no-win situation. I just wish my parents were more understanding. I gave up on that a long time ago.
 
Dixie said:
My dad always told me growing up that when I'm looking for a job I should never mention it as it would hurt my chances of getting employment. My parents didn't allow me to socialize the way my brother did, they just wanted me to sit at home all the time (what would it have mattered anyway - I didn't have any friends other than the one or two from the church youth group). I think they were ashamed I might be found out as being d/hh and I would be shunned. I think they themselves shunned me in a way like having lower 'expectations' such as not expecting me to succeed, they did not expect me to do well enough to go to college. I've been told that due to this upbringing that I've come to have low expectations for myself even though I find myself dreaming of more.

However at the same time my parents would use my d/hh to embarass me. I was fitted with an ill-fitting HA in grade 9 and I didn't like wearing it but mom forced me to wear it from the time I got up until I went to bed despite it making my ear hurt and giving me headaches. She said I MUST wear it constantly to get used to it. She said that if I did not wear it she would have my dad announce to the ENTIRE school that I wear a HA despite they were the ones who opted to have a CIC HA.

To me it just felt like (and still feels like) a no-win situation. I just wish my parents were more understanding. I gave up on that a long time ago.
Click to expand...

:aw: You are not alone. You are one of us, especially me. I was upset with my parents not meeting me halfway and understood my needs to learn ASL and then have a ASL interpreter. I think my mother must have lied to me about the Deaf School in Southern Minnesota because for the simple fact is that she does not want me to associated with ASL and Deaf people. She desperately wanted me to be like a hearing person. She thought that I would be able to understanded better with lipreading and hearing the words. She was one hundred percent wrong. And that is what make me sooooo mad at my mother and my father. They don't understand about my deaf perspective back then. :(
 
Back
Top