Would you date a hearie

ember

ember

New Member
Joined
Jan 1, 2011
Messages
644
Reaction score
0
Out of my own curiosity would any of you date a hearie, I see many post about the shortage of a good deaf mate? Also what are the challenges that come along with dating a hearie? Just curious
 
My SO is hearing. We've been together 4 years. 95% it is smooth sailing. But there is always the occasional situations when I get upset, frustrated, even crying. Those primarily happen in group settings when we are out with friends. His friends are super-sensitive to making sure I stay in the loop -- they're so great about it -- but ultimately sometimes things fail. I have accepted that for as long as I'm with a hearing SO, there will always be situations like that. It's nobody's fault. But as long as it's just us 2 at home or someplace together, then it's all good. He's doing a terrific job of trying to learn sign language.
 
Yes. Already dated a bunch. Would rather date a hearing over a deafie for many reasons that I will not disclose.
 
AlleyCat said:
My SO is hearing. We've been together 4 years. 95% it is smooth sailing. But there is always the occasional situations when I get upset, frustrated, even crying. Those primarily happen in group settings when we are out with friends. His friends are super-sensitive to making sure I stay in the loop -- they're so great about it -- but ultimately sometimes things fail. I have accepted that for as long as I'm with a hearing SO, there will always be situations like that. It's nobody's fault. But as long as it's just us 2 at home or someplace together, then it's all good. He's doing a terrific job of trying to learn sign language.
Click to expand...

So Alley Cat are you saying that when the two of you go out in a group setting its challenging for you to keep up with the conversation and whats going on around you and in those moments you feel "out of the loop" ?
 
ember said:
Out of my own curiosity would any of you date a hearie, I see many post about the shortage of a good deaf mate? Also what are the challenges that come along with dating a hearie? Just curious
Click to expand...

already did. all of them. for next relationship - I don't care if she's a hearie or deafie but as long as she knows ASL (doesn't have to be THAT proficient) :)

btw - there's no shortage of a good deaf mates... just a shortage of good mate :lol:
 
lanapoo said:
Yes. Already dated a bunch. Would rather date a hearing over a deafie for many reasons that I will not disclose.
Click to expand...

I can see why. seeing how they are around here.. I'd feel same if I were in your place.
 
I prefer hearing girl for some reasons.

I grew up in mainstream school before school for the deaf. And family invite me to hang out with their friends daughters who are prep and rich girls.

And I had no problem with hearing at cornell before, avoid from rumor and other issue.
 
would anyone care to share with me any of the challenges that come along with dating a hearie?
 
If you won't find hearing...want find deaf guy or girl.

It will hard to find deaf partner on your criteria. It never work out...some of my friends who is former gallaudet students, realize they found hearing themselves but not at gallaudet.

I had experienced in deaf community events and gallaudet.

Lots of deafies there but hopefully, in the future, hearing students can enroll cuz it better social and balance.

If you social with deaf at gallaudet, where will you make friends with hearing?

It is not good for me grew up in school for the deaf in long time. But went to csun and cornell is awesome for me had experience and social with hearie girls who can learn each other. It doesn't matter if they sign or not. But personality and interests are good what I got.
 
Jiro said:
already did. all of them. for next relationship - I don't care if she's a hearie or deafie but as long as she knows ASL (doesn't have to be THAT proficient) :)

btw - there's no shortage of a good deaf mates... just a shortage of good mate :lol:
Click to expand...

I meant no harm in my quote, I was just repeating some of the words I have read here many times, and you are absolutely correct a shortage of good mates period

I apologize if I offended anyone
 
ember said:
I meant no harm in my quote, I was just repeating some of the words I have read here many times, and you are absolutely correct a shortage of good mates period

I apologize if I offended anyone
Click to expand...

oh shush. stop apologizing lol. just because you're a hearie doesn't mean you should tip-toe around here :cool2:

mi casa es tu casa
 
The so-called shortage of finding Deaf girlfriends/boyfriends is from how small the Deaf community is. Almost everyone knows everyone else. Then there are the "dating rules". If my best friend dated this guy, am I "allowed" to date that same guy after they break up? So that makes the Deaf dating pool even smaller.

I have dated hearing guys. But, I ended up marrying a Deaf man. The hearing guys I dated were nice and willing to learn ASL. But there were still major communication barriers as they were slow to learn ASL and I felt like I was signing to a kid in Kindergarten.

There's also a bit of awkwardness of going to an all hearing event where no one else signs. Do you rely on your boyfriend/girlfriend to play interpreter? Is doing so fair? Do you really want to be dependent upon someone else to communicate? Or do you pass around pen and paper all night. And by the way, paper/pen conversations work well for one on one conversations. But, it doesn't hold up well for when a group is conversing.

A similar thing happens when a hearing person (without ASL fluency) attends an all Deaf event. The Deaf person has to interpret conversational ASL to ASL level 1.

I think it would be easier for a deaf/hearing relationship to succeed as long as both people are fluent in ASL.
 
ember said:
would anyone care to share with me any of the challenges that come along with dating a hearie?
Click to expand...

Group settings/ socializing. Being accused of "selective hearing" sometimes in jest, sometimes not. But this can be a good thing as it for me to actually pay attention quite a bit. It matters more if you find someone that can help the relationship in any means of communication, even if it's just notes. Some women just hate that I don't actually call them. I'd rather text or email.

Never dated solely deaf though :hmm:. :dunno:. It's a huge bonus if she can understand a smidge of ASL
 
matajan said:
If you won't find hearing...want find deaf guy or girl.

It will hard to find deaf partner on your criteria. It never work out...some of my friends who is former gallaudet students, realize they found hearing themselves but not at gallaudet.

I had experienced in deaf community events and gallaudet.

Lots of deafies there but hopefully, in the future, hearing students can enroll cuz it better social and balance.

If you social with deaf at gallaudet, where will you make friends with hearing?

It is not good for me grew up in school for the deaf in long time. But went to csun and cornell is awesome for me had experience and social with hearie girls who can learn each other. It doesn't matter if they sign or not. But personality and interests are good what I got.
Click to expand...

She's a hearing and I'm certain she's a very lovely woman so she won't have a hard time finding either.

Stop thinking so much, matajan. You're horrible with relationship advice anyway.
 
I would gladly date a deafie, if they'd have me.:giggle: I have no problem with working with communication.
 
Back
Top