Why my wife and I want our children to hear and speak a little.

Fragmenter

New Member
Joined
Apr 11, 2006
Messages
822
Reaction score
0
http://www.alldeaf.com/showthread.php?t=28109

No offense, but that is precisely why our children are going to an oral school right now.

I know us deaf people can do anything if we set our minds to it... but to a limited degree. The world will never cater to us so we gotta do what we gotta do.
 
Yep. So true.

Old cliche..."Life ain't fair" but so what? As you say, you do what you gotta do. Once I figured that out for myself, life was a lot smoother.

Give 'em all the tools they need to succeed and more power to you.
 
completely understandable. Those who push ASL-only are usually the very first to cry about discrimination, but they are the ones that limit themselves to just one language. Being able to hear (even to a small degree) and communicate effectively across the deaf/hearing disability lines will GREATLY enchance one's ability to succeed. Its simple fact, especially in today's cuthroat, dog-eat-dog business world!
 
I agree with both of you.

Limiting yourself to one language is like putting a high school diploma on your job resume and leaving the rest blank... especially when the language is ASL.

There is nothing wrong with ASL, it's just that you need to have the ability to communicate with the hearing people efficiently to boost chances of being successful.
 
I respect you but it would be nice to expose your child to both worlds. Let your child know that he/she is deaf and sign for them.
 
Liebling:-))) said:
I respect you but it would be nice to expose your child to both worlds. Let your child know that he/she is deaf and sign for them.

Of course they are expected to sign well. They have parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousin and great aunt & uncle who are all deaf as well. No way you can survive in our family if you couldn't communicate in sign language.

My wife and I felt it was time to catch up with the world :)
 
Fragmenter said:
Of course they are expected to sign well. They have parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousin and great aunt & uncle who are all deaf as well. No way you can survive in our family if you couldn't communicate in sign language.

My wife and I felt it was time to catch up with the world :)


Ooohhh I see... I didn´t know that you have deaf generation... wow! Are you hearing? You are the one who are hearing from deaf generation?
 
Fragmenter said:
http://www.alldeaf.com/showthread.php?t=28109No offense, but that is precisely why our children are going to an oral school right now. I know us deaf people can do anything if we set our minds to it... but to a limited degree. The world will never cater to us so we gotta do what we gotta do.
You know it's to bad that you have to say "no offense" I can't understand why this would be offensive. You are making choices that will give your children the tools and skills they need to make it in the world. And yes, it's to bad that the hearing world is not as accomidating to the deaf community as some would want it to be, but you know what, Life is not fair. It's not fair to many (not just the deaf). Hell, I can't tell you how many times life has kicked me in the balls and I am white hearing man. I say more power to ya. And with what I have learned here, I would say just don't abandon ASL and keep the kids active in the deaf community.
 
Fragmenter ...
No offenses here too..
You are doing your best for your children.. I dont see nothing wrong to send them..

After took 3 years BA degree for taking English Teacher classes for little deaf children back in mid 80's. Minnesota law passed that ASL must taught first in school.. I was like.. :confused: so I stopped and switched to General Office practices to be adminstraive for Northern States Power Nucler plant.. for almost 5 years.. before I first married..

IMO, I believe in English to be taught in school first because they can always have ASL anywhere.. Reading and Writing are so important for children to grow up to underestimated the life we need like Jobs, communicate with any people, reading books and movies etc..

Yes, I grew up in public school, mainstreamed with hearing kids.. I thanked my dad for his hard work to not put me in deaf school.. (after i was graduated & met alot of deaf people), I see why they need more understand and what english need to be... but I have nothing against either deaf school or mainstreamed classes, its up to parents' choices... but will be nice that ASL AND ENGLISH TAUGHT both in school...
 
Liebling:-))) said:
Ooohhh I see... I didn´t know that you have deaf generation... wow! Are you hearing? You are the one who are hearing from deaf generation?

lol thats OK. I'm deaf through and through. I thought I said our children has deaf parents ;)

rockdrummer, thank you for the support! This is a territority none in my family have seen and we're basically trailblazing for our future generations.
I agree the modern world demands so much from even a hearing person! My Deaf sister and her Deaf husband is going to put their 2 month old deaf daughter through oral training too, and they're interested in how the CI thing works out for us...
 
Doofus, thanks for the post. I appreciate it... I grew up in mainstream schools because my parents refused my wishes to go to a residental school. My father went to a residental school all his life and even he said NO to me.

Looking back, I couldn't be happier with their decision since I can sign ASL fluently yet write sastifactory English.
 
Fragmenter said:
Looking back, I couldn't be happier with their decision since I can sign ASL fluently yet write sastifactory English.

there you go ! :)
 
I would say go for it, if your kids r able to function normally, then why not?
 
Fragmenter,

I hope all the best to your children. Since your family is consisted of many deaf members they'll learn ASL. I think the more tools you have in this society the easier it will be to lead a happy and complete life. You know what I was thinking? And I don't know if you can answer my question, but I'll ask it anyway, somebody else may be able to answer it. How is being deaf and taking the decision to put your deaf children to an all oral program different from being hearing and taking the very same decision? What I mean is: is the decision of a deaf parent to put their deaf child to an oral program more accepted by the deaf community or better the deaf people who are against the oral method of communication? Or are you also viewed as the oppressing parent because you want your children to be able to use speech as well? Just wondering..how do people react to such a decision from the deaf parents as opposed to the same decision made by the hearing parents. May I ask if you had also attended an oral school? I am only asking because I personally have never met a deaf parent who would like their deaf child to attend an oral school. Thnks.
 
Liebling:-))) said:
I respect you but it would be nice to expose your child to both worlds. Let your child know that he/she is deaf and sign for them.
I know my response is late but his child is already exposed to both world. :D
 
Fragmenter said:
Doofus, thanks for the post. I appreciate it... I grew up in mainstream schools because my parents refused my wishes to go to a residental school. My father went to a residental school all his life and even he said NO to me.

Looking back, I couldn't be happier with their decision since I can sign ASL fluently yet write sastifactory English.
Yes, I would say no to residential school because I have been there. no thanks!

Day School or Public School is fine with me. Family Bond is more important than child/dorm mother/dad bond or none because they are herded like sardine in tinbox. Going to Public School, child get to experience the world more than ever. I have had lots of adventures during my childhood here in Tucson when I was day student at ASDB. I explored the city myself which those kids at ASDB are stuck in dorms.

I am grateful for mainstreaming too... even a total inclusion (no interpreters or self-contained classroom for deaf) just sit in class with all hearing peers and reading teacher's lip all day plus reading notes on overheads, copying them down as teacher write at the same time lecture us.

vp, any future children of mine happens to be deaf, I'll put them in mainstreaming instead.. I have been thru all kinds of school.. I prefer mainstreaming as well as oral deaf school but residential deaf school no thanks. See other thread about which school we have gone to growing up. you can find mine there and see how many school I have gone to and what mode used there.
 
Fragmenter said:
http://www.alldeaf.com/showthread.php?t=28109

No offense, but that is precisely why our children are going to an oral school right now.

I know us deaf people can do anything if we set our minds to it... but to a limited degree. The world will never cater to us so we gotta do what we gotta do.
Fragmenter,
Excellent topic, with good response.
Like before I admire you on your choice.
With such a big part of the family deaf, and - I assume lining in Deaf world - how are they looking at your decision?
 
vp said:
Fragmenter,

I hope all the best to your children. Since your family is consisted of many deaf members they'll learn ASL. I think the more tools you have in this society the easier it will be to lead a happy and complete life. You know what I was thinking? And I don't know if you can answer my question, but I'll ask it anyway, somebody else may be able to answer it. How is being deaf and taking the decision to put your deaf children to an all oral program different from being hearing and taking the very same decision? What I mean is: is the decision of a deaf parent to put their deaf child to an oral program more accepted by the deaf community or better the deaf people who are against the oral method of communication? Or are you also viewed as the oppressing parent because you want your children to be able to use speech as well? Just wondering..how do people react to such a decision from the deaf parents as opposed to the same decision made by the hearing parents. May I ask if you had also attended an oral school? I am only asking because I personally have never met a deaf parent who would like their deaf child to attend an oral school. Thnks.

I do not know. It's still a sensitive issue for many and I hope that we can help the Deaf to understand our decision and maybe something special will happen? The Deaf community may think I'm crazier because I come from a large deaf family. Maybe they will understand later on because I can explain to them clearly or maybe they will not be sastified with the explaination.

My brother in law and I had a good discussion on this topic... I said "Tuck fhem if they aren't happy about it because our son's life is more important than their opinion".

This forum is a wonderful tool for us so we can prepare ourselves to explain our decision in person to other Deaf people.
 
Last edited:
Cloggy said:
Fragmenter,
Excellent topic, with good response.
Like before I admire you on your choice.
With such a big part of the family deaf, and - I assume lining in Deaf world - how are they looking at your decision?

Thank you, I'm flattered :)

It was pretty shocking for everybody involved MOSTLY because they knew how much I didn't like cochlear implant LOL.

After everybody absorbed the news and settled down, they were receptive to our reasons and wishes. They understood exactly why we wanted it for him. My parents gave us their support because of their love for us and they have faith in our judgement.

Basically, the first ten minutes on videophone was tough but after that, love and wisdom took over and everybody is at peace with the decision.
 
And as for how the other Deafs' reaction? We haven't announced it publicly yet... I registered here mainly to learn how to deal with adversity because we will see plenty of it.

Now that I am 110% at peace about the decision, I'm just enjoying the camaraderie around here.
 
Back
Top