Why do some people like to lie about how worse their hearing actually is?

NaidaUP

NaidaUP

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I know someone from my local deaf centre who has always said she is profoundly deaf and wears the Naida SP but it turns out that she is wearing the NHS Phonak Nathos M which looks like a Naida SP but the NHS Phonak Nathos M is only for mild to moderate.

I found this out from a friends Mom who says I should go for a CI as she believes I struggle.

When I mentioned this lady to friends Mom and wondered how she coped so well with hearing and being profoundly deaf.
My Moms friend (who is an active member in organising things and running things at the deaf centre) said she likes to state that she is profoundly deaf but in fact she is not that deaf at all and only wear the NHS Phonak Nathos M.

Just seems strange to me why someone would want hearing that is worse?! Maybe she feels she would fit in better as a lot of people at this actual group at the deaf centre are very deaf.

Confused! :shock:
 
NaidaUP said:
I know someone from my local deaf centre who has always said she is profoundly deaf and wears the Naida SP but it turns out that she is wearing the NHS Phonak Nathos M which looks like a Naida SP but the NHS Phonak Nathos M is only for mild to moderate.

I found this out from a friends Mom who says I should go for a CI as she believes I struggle.

When I mentioned this lady to friends Mom and wondered how she coped so well with hearing and being profoundly deaf.
My Moms friend (who is an active member in organising things and running things at the deaf centre) said she likes to state that she is profoundly deaf but in fact she is not that deaf at all and only wear the NHS Phonak Nathos M.

Just seems strange to me why someone would want hearing that is worse?! Maybe she feels she would fit in better as a lot of people at this actual group at the deaf centre are very deaf.

Confused! :shock:
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Same reasons kids all want the same pair of popular Nikes. It's not like she is damaging her hearing or doing anything wrong except try to be like everyone else.

Also the mom who is active organizing and running things at the center, should not be trusted. Anybody who talks about somebody behind their back to you, will do the same to you with somebody else. It's unethical in her position.

Especially if you were to use the information to gossip and make your friend a pariah. (Not implying that you would do that.)
 
She's a adult in her 20s so I think would know better.

I've known my friends mom for over 15 years so I wouldn't really think she would do that kind of thing.
 
NaidaUP said:
She's a adult in her 20s so I think would know better.

I've known my friends mom for over 15 years so I wouldn't really think she would do that kind of thing.
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But she just did.
 
I'm HOH and I'm sure that people (both Deaf and hearing) have all different assumptions about my hearing level. One ear is at moderate hearing loss and the other at severe hearing loss. But, really, my hearing is better or worse depending on which frequency we are looking at. Until recently I spent all my time with hearing people, so I'm actually fairly good at compensating and/or faking, so I can come off as "more hearing" than I am.

With Deaf people I say that my hearing level is moderate because I don't want to over-claim my hearing loss and have people think I'm lying. With hearing people, though I say severe if it comes up, because if I say "moderate," they tend to think if they just speak a little louder, then I'm all good, which is so very much not the case. In fact, with Deaf people I say I'm HOH, but with hearing people I call myself "kind of Deaf," because it is easier for them to understand my situation without giving a 10 minute monologue on the subject of my hearing.

Anyway, my point is that choosing how to briefly and effectively describe one's hearing level is complicated, especially when it is different for each ear, so maybe she just thought that was easiest to say without going into great detail.
 
Pythias said:
With Deaf people I say that my hearing level is moderate because I don't want to over-claim my hearing loss and have people think I'm lying. With hearing people, though I say severe if it comes up, because if I say "moderate," they tend to think if they just speak a little louder, then I'm all good, which is so very much not the case. In fact, with Deaf people I say I'm HOH, but with hearing people I call myself "kind of Deaf," because it is easier for them to understand my situation without giving a 10 minute monologue on the subject of my hearing.
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Exactly... I tell Deaf people I am hearing, but I tell hearing people that I am hard of hearing. I actually have normal hearing: I just have a terrible time figuring out speech when other people are talking or if there is other noises going on (music, loud air conditioners etc).
But it would take me forever to explain what works and what doesn't work. It took me years to figure out good coping methods. I don't expect anyone to understand how things work within a couple of weeks.

I'd rather keep it simple and request they try to keep conversations to quiet places, or just tell them that "I have trouble hearing so can we move to a quiet place to talk?"

I'm sure your situation is different compared to this but I just wanted to add.
 
I have recently discovered with myself that if you encounter a person who wears HA's, but is having trouble understanding, just a subtle comment "When was your last audiogram?" can do wonders. Please do it.

Remember there can be denial and a sense of panic at the thought of further loss, even when HA's can take care of most of the problem. Not the same motivation as the case that Naida is talking about, but... maybe that is her problem also.

To hearing people, I just say that I am half-deaf.
 
I have hearing loss that begins at 85 and 90 dB (left and right) at 250hz and foes off the charts (120+ dB) at 2,000hz. But my hearing loss is progressive so it seems like I hear more in some circumstances than I actually do.

Around hearing people I say I have severe to profound hearing loss which is accurate but some people who meet me in a quiet situation don't believe me until I encounter them in a noisy situation. Then they understand that me knowing that there is a sound does not mean I can understand the speech that is in that sound.

Also, you mentioned the hearing aid. I wear Naida SP but that is only because the government agency that bought my hearing aids made a mistake. I was supposed to have Naida UP. But there is not that much difference (5 dB?) and with my hearing I don't necessarily have better understanding with louder sounds.

Basically, maybe the person in question doesn't realize that there is a "more deaf" than they are currently (I know when I had severe hearing loss I thought I was pretty damn deaf), maybe they are tired of explaining things.
 
ecp said:
I have hearing loss that begins at 85 and 90 dB (left and right) at 250hz and foes off the charts (120+ dB) at 2,000hz. But my hearing loss is progressive so it seems like I hear more in some circumstances than I actually do.

Around hearing people I say I have severe to profound hearing loss which is accurate but some people who meet me in a quiet situation don't believe me until I encounter them in a noisy situation. Then they understand that me knowing that there is a sound does not mean I can understand the speech that is in that sound.

Also, you mentioned the hearing aid. I wear Naida SP but that is only because the government agency that bought my hearing aids made a mistake. I was supposed to have Naida UP. But there is not that much difference (5 dB?) and with my hearing I don't necessarily have better understanding with louder sounds.

Basically, maybe the person in question doesn't realize that there is a "more deaf" than they are currently (I know when I had severe hearing loss I thought I was pretty damn deaf), maybe they are tired of explaining things.
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She's wear phonak Nathos M which is for mild to moderate but states that she wears phonak Naidas SP. (they are both the same size) Nathos range is NHS range.

I personally don't understand it. I understand what everyone is saying about in different situations saying you are HOH or deaf.

But to state you are profoundly deaf when she is wearing Nathos M which is only suitable for mild to moderate is just really stupid!
 
it an acceptence thing,people put them selves in tribes i think it human trait...do she have hearing friends
 
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