Why do deaf get offended when hearing people....

I'm more offended with ASL speaking deaf folks "eavesdropping" than I am with hearing folks who most probably don't know ASL or sign language as it's obvious their intentions are very different.
 
Defmusicman said:
What would be cool would be to have some business cards printed with the name and address of any local ASL classes that are being given. If you find someone watching you sign out of curiosity, just hand one of the cards to them. On the back of the card should be printed "Shatter silence. Learn ASL". What do you say, guys?
Click to expand...

Cool Idea!!
 
I don't think this is an issue exclusive to watching an ASL conversation. It happens to many people and most people have actually done it. (I am writing from a hearing person's point of view.)

Imagine your favorite actor, musician, etc. If he/she were sitting right next to you in a restaurant, can you honestly say you have absolutely no curiosity to take extra glances (listen in on a conversation if you're hearing)? Probably not. Then it comes down to the degree that you do it - where you draw the line between your own curiosity and having respect for someone else).

I know that the few times I've seen people signing in a public place I've wanted to take a couple of extra looks because I think it's interesting. I've also tried to listen for a minute or 2 when people next to me are speaking in a language that I'm learning (such as French). Granted listening is not as obvious as watching.

I guess my point is the most people do it. It's human curiosity. Letting another persons's slightest interest offend you isn't worth it.

Alex
 
Defmusicman said:
What would be cool would be to have some business cards printed with the name and address of any local ASL classes that are being given. If you find someone watching you sign out of curiosity, just hand one of the cards to them. On the back of the card should be printed "Shatter silence. Learn ASL". What do you say, guys?
Click to expand...

I like your idea, but the people that stare when we sign are the same people that ask us if we can read braille. They're probably not interested in learning.
 
ASL is relatively new to me but I have known sign language for thirty years. I just grew up in old school when english sign was the way to go. I loved signing then and thirty years later I still do. So it's not a novelty. It is in my opinion the best form of communication, except I know we were made to speak versus signing because it is so funny how the tongue never seems to tire lol, it's like the energizer bunny it keeps going and going. Anyways, no I wouldn't want someone coming up to listen to a private conversation and follow me. I have never had people do that yet. I have had people curiously watch me. But the deaf have been mocked and put down for it, so therefore I can understand why it bothers the deaf more than hearies that know sign and use it in public. I don't think deaf would have such a problem with it if sign was looked at as a beautiful unique form of communicating by the hearing public.
 
Angel said:
IF people wants to be soo curious, then get a book or rent a movie, or attend sign language classes etc, staring is RUDE period, I hate it when people stare at me when I'm signing to RR, my children, my family or friends, I don't stare at people when they're eating or chatting along with someone....I just can not eat when people are sitting there staring at me....

It's like where your manner? didn't your mom teach you that it is rude to stare at people?
Click to expand...


I agree.

I think it's different between deaf clubs or regular events. People in deaf clubs sort of expect to be stared at. But I do not like being stared at when I am out eating with my family or regular friends. It's so hard to eat when someone is watching you. I know they are curious, but they should take ASL classes or go to deaf events to watch them rather than when I am doing regular stuff.

It's just rude, I do not care if they are curious. Of course, I am curious when I see people who are different, BUT I know better than that not to stare at them. After all they are human being and they deserves to live in peace without people watching them and talk to other people about them.

Also, it's different with movie stars, they asked for fame. So that's one price they have to pay. Whether it's right or not, that's another story. HOWEVER, I did not ask to be deaf so that people can stare at me. It make me feel like I am in zoo where people can watch and observe me. That's just plain stupid.
 
robbielyn said:
I don't think deaf would have such a problem with it if sign was looked at as a beautiful unique form of communicating by the hearing public.
Click to expand...

You don't think the people in this thread would still be bugged by eavesdroppers?

I don't think it matters whether someone is staring at you because they're interested, because they love what you're doing, or because they think you're a freak. It's not possible to know what they're thinking when they stare at you, so why would it matter if the one person staring is thinking "OH MY GOD LOOK AT THE WEIRDOS!" and the other is thinking "Wow, ASL sure is a beautiful unique form of communication"? It's still rude.

I don't have a deaf perspective on this, obviously, but I do deal with it as an interpreter in a classroom from time to time. Usually the first couple of classes I get stares from the hearing students and that's fine, it tends to taper off. But I have on occasion had a hearing (non-signing) student who continually stares at me the whole time I'm interpreting. And there's definitely a line that gets crossed between "interested" and "creepy." I have had to address it when it starts to get invasive. I can only imagine having to deal with that all day, every day and how tired of it I would get.
 
farmerjoe said:
I like your idea, but the people that stare when we sign are the same people that ask us if we can read braille. They're probably not interested in learning.
Click to expand...

Sad but true. But let's not lump them all into the same category because there will always be ignorant, ill-mannered and uneducated people in this world. We do what we can to bridge the gap and enlighten them.
 
talking privately in public

In Jean M Auel's book Clan of the Cave bear she talks about a Human child Aaela growing up in a signing society of Cave people.
When I read that was the first time I got the impression that it was rude to "stare at other people's fires." There doesn't seem to be a common feeling as to whether it is rude or not, depending on who you talk to.

I think people trying to have private conversations in the open hearing or deaf need to really think about what they are doing. Hearing people remember all those terrible conversations we have been forced to endure of people on cell phones. If you want privacy use code-words/code-signs, use smaller more concealable versions of signs, or better yet take it somewhere you are alone or truly in private.

I'm still learning signs but I pay attention to the looks on people's faces when they watch me sign with a friend of mine in public. We have a rule that we don't talk about anything we wouldn't want to see in the paper tomorrow. Otherwise we'll go to a hallway or some other place with little traffic and after standing a while sign back and forth blocking most of it with our bodies, knowing when someone comes by to stop.

metamantis
 
That was rude....

IMO, I think it is very rude. Yeah it is cool to see someone is signing and they are so beautiful but still, it is not approriate to watch them signing. I had an experience in NYC, I was talking to my friend in sign language. There was a lady who was staring at me. It annoyed me. We had to move other side. Then she followed us. She was defintely staring at us. I thought she was lesbian or something. We moved again and got in the subway. Oddly, she was sitting by my friend. I thought she was crazy. Probably attracted to my friend who looked like a model.

Finally we both got fed up and wanted to go in a different car (subway) but she tapped on my friend's arm and said in sign language, " what time is it?" I thought it was humilating but then later, I thought that was soo rude. She has no respect for watching our conversation. She shouldn't follow us and watched us.

I wish she knew better. She was deaf and she should have respect us. That goes for hearing people too.
 
Interpretrator said:
You don't think the people in this thread would still be bugged by eavesdroppers?

I don't think it matters whether someone is staring at you because they're interested, because they love what you're doing, or because they think you're a freak. It's not possible to know what they're thinking when they stare at you, so why would it matter if the one person staring is thinking "OH MY GOD LOOK AT THE WEIRDOS!" and the other is thinking "Wow, ASL sure is a beautiful unique form of communication"? It's still rude.

I don't have a deaf perspective on this, obviously, but I do deal with it as an interpreter in a classroom from time to time. Usually the first couple of classes I get stares from the hearing students and that's fine, it tends to taper off. But I have on occasion had a hearing (non-signing) student who continually stares at me the whole time I'm interpreting. And there's definitely a line that gets crossed between "interested" and "creepy." I have had to address it when it starts to get invasive. I can only imagine having to deal with that all day, every day and how tired of it I would get.
Click to expand...

Maybe she/he trying to learn it dunno . Walk up to that person and do what defmusicman suggested, give them a card and say "here is a phone number to a sign language class if you are interested learning".

*admits staring at a interpreter*
 
Banjo said:
It's simply rude. Eavesdropping is socially unacceptable even if you don't understand what's being said, it's still rude.

It's not about feeling oppressed, that never occurred to me. I just don't like being stared at while I'm engaged in a private conversation.
Click to expand...

Then get a fucking room.
 
What is wrong with using appriopriate resources to observe ASL like ASL videos, movies like Children of a Lesser God, paid performances in ASL (think Keith Wann, etc), internet dictionary (ASLpro), YOUTUBE clips that have ASL, etc? It's all about respect in knowing your limit if you know and feel someone does not want this. There are always other opportunities and resources, and the buck certainly doesn't stop here.

Why not introduce yourself to signers on the street if you know ASL? Don't meet them just because you want to show off your ASL or share what you learned (that will be a real short conversation, trust me) - simply meet them because they seem interesting to you as individuals, and you do have the tool to interact with them after all. I never heard that it was fun chattering away about learning to use a hammer and nails in a social setting! ;)
 
Last edited:
whenever people stare at me while i talk to my friend... i always smile and waves at them. that often did the trick. they either got embarassed at being caught or began to communicate with us.

what does annoys the hell out of me is that often people stare at me and i wasnt signing... just standing there quietly... NOW thats when i get rude and make gestures at them like "what are u looking at?!?"

it depends on situations really. i hate being stared at like i was a prize on a display... but i also do know how to respond to each situation.... i do understand that ASL is new to them and often respond kindly to those.
 
Eh. I don't see a reason to be offended by it. Just as people listen to others conversations -all- the time, people watch conversations in asl. You can't be anything but blunt when watching someone sign, can you? That said, if someone was gawking, I'd be bothered and might move.

That said, I'm personally guilty of staring. I find it quite difficult to innitiate conversations, and even more so with Deaf people- it's not easy to walk up to random people with a "Hi, I'm ----- and I'm blind. Could you please let me feel your signs or use this pda to talk to me?"

Donno. If you're that kind of brave person, great for you. But for me, it's stressful, even at Deaf events, nevermind just people I've met at random places.
 
I remember a few years ago I went to six flags in St. Louis and I was with my church group in line for the Batman ride (nice! rode it three times!). I had been standing in line for what seemed like eternity, and I look up and I notice one girl had an aid then another and another then I noticed the hands - they were moving and I was intrigued. I didnt want to be rude but I couldnt help but notice. Having spent my whole life functioning in the hearing world, I never learned ASL, but I found it interesting. My youth pastor elbowed me and pointed, he asked if I knew what they were saying, and I said no, nor do I want to. I think we should not be eaves dropping on their conversation. He thought I should know ASL because of my deafness/hoh.

I had to explain to him that even though I was 'legally' deaf, I still could only function in the hearing world as I always have because I never learned ASL nor was I ever really given the opportunity to learn it.

Now that my hearing seems to be slipping to the point that someone may say 'bluff' and all I get is 'fluff', I seem to be getting motivated to learn. (Not that it would help the hearing people any).
 
SpiceHD said:
whenever people stare at me while i talk to my friend... i always smile and waves at them. that often did the trick. they either got embarassed at being caught or began to communicate with us.

what does annoys the hell out of me is that often people stare at me and i wasnt signing... just standing there quietly... NOW thats when i get rude and make gestures at them like "what are u looking at?!?"

it depends on situations really. i hate being stared at like i was a prize on a display... but i also do know how to respond to each situation.... i do understand that ASL is new to them and often respond kindly to those.
Click to expand...

:rofl: Same thing I do! When they stare at me too long, I would look at them, smile and wave at them! Because it does work to making them embarrass themselves...
 
sometime deaf individual will feel offended when hearing people were looking at them because of the "monkey voices" "body gesture" and "sign languages"

they find deaf people as "aliens" the unique species from outer space.

it's normal.

:D

in my shoes, if they stare, i'd walk up to 'em - hi, need help? or got any problem?

i think you have a problem, maybe i can help you to resolve your problem.
 
My opinion... it's rude. Especially when someone you don't know who are staring at you, but it is NOT rude when he/she stare at you then approach you to say hi and explain why he/she is staring at you.

I agree alot of ASL students are scare of meet Deaf people because the Deaf people tend to not like when ASL students begging them to teach ASL students the ASL. Most of the time Deaf people would welcome when the ASL students want to know about them.

I believe sometimes it's best way to KNOW a deaf person well before learning the ASL. For example:

My grandma had a Japanese foregin exchange student, while I am so into the Japanese language, but I never ask her to teach me Japanese. I just talk to her how I learn the Japanese and how much I know about Japanese language, and chat some about if she like here in America, how life in Japan was, etc. As we continue chatting, the more I learn Japanese language!

Learn ASL from deaf person first place: You will feel like WORK!
Learn the deaf person before ASL: You will feel ASL is a heart language for your relationship with deaf person, possible a unqiue signer ;)

Most of the time I tend to pretend that I didn't notice someone staring at me signing, but I have one experience.

Every night I walk to Minit Mart when I was teen and there's a woman sitting outside front of the store smoking, always staring at me everytime I sign with my deaf friends, it scared me. A several times later, I finally fed up and give her a note "Please stop staring at me, it scares me". When I went in the store, that woman came to me and she signs! How ridicilious!

Never get mad at person who stare at you at first place till you find the reason why that person stare at you. That's all I can say.
 
Banjo said:
It's simply rude. Eavesdropping is socially unacceptable even if you don't understand what's being said, it's still rude.

It's not about feeling oppressed, that never occurred to me. I just don't like being stared at while I'm engaged in a private conversation.
Click to expand...

I wouldn't say they are eavesdropping 98% of the time... to eavesdrop would be to understand what you are saying ... most of the people who stare don't understand a single sign. I'm not saying that it isn't RUDE, I do think it can be very rude. I'd say it's mostly curiosity that makes people stare though, hearing people probably don't see many people signing, to be honest I've gone my whole life only seeing 1, maybe 2 people signing (until I began learning ASL and emersing myself into the Deaf world) ...
 
Back
Top