Hi ADers!
I have been absent for a while and I want to explain why, and perhaps seek some support because I desperately in need of it right now!
I have an unspecified anxiety disorder and while attempting to cope with a situation of abuse I asked to be put on anti-anxiety medications, which also happen to be anti-depressants. Not only did the medication treat my anxiety, but it induced a state of depression, to the point where I was feeling suicidal. While I did not take any direct suicidal actions, I did think about it a lot and I expressed these thoughts once which ended up with me being brought to the hospital in the back of a police car. I was released from the hospital the same night.
Only a few days later I once again found myself in the same situation - in the back of a police car on my way to the hospital. The second time was based strongly on my “psychiatric history” - a systemically created demon which will now haunt me for life. During an interaction with the police, when I was discussing the abuse, there was some miscommunication. I was asked “How did he talk to you?”. My response was probably the stupidest it could have been - “With his voice.” and within seconds it was assumed I was hearing voices. It continued to get worse when asked “How with his voice?”, to which I responded “With his words…”
Being Deaf I assumed “How did he talk to you?” meant something more along the lines of “Did he speak? Sign? Write?”. By the time I had made this connection I was on my way to the hospital again. I explained this to the doctor and once again I was let go.
Fast forward a few weeks. I had long since stopped taking the anti-depressants and was more than back to my regular self. After recanting my initial police report of the abuse I decided I needed to re-report since the situation wasn’t improving. I explained what had happened the first time to the officer who took the report and I was assured he wasn’t questioning my sanity.
A few days later I called 911 after an incident. One of the first questions I was asked was about what psychiatric medications I was taking. When I assured them I wasn’t on any medications it was assumed I was in need of them and I must be hallucinating the abuse. Regardless of the fact that my psychiatrist does not feel I need to be on medications and does not feel as though I am experiencing psychosis, the police decided that this must be the case.
I am 20 years old, but despite that my parents were called and given the details of my police report and told I should be in a psychiatric facility. I was shocked. All of the professionals who work with me feel as though I am mentally stable and competent, and it seemed none of this matters because of a “psychiatric history”. Not to mention the fact I am an adult.
Add to this the police questioning my hearing loss because of my great oral skills and response to visual and tactile stimuli. I am very frustrated!
So, that is where I have been...
Jenny
I have been absent for a while and I want to explain why, and perhaps seek some support because I desperately in need of it right now!
I have an unspecified anxiety disorder and while attempting to cope with a situation of abuse I asked to be put on anti-anxiety medications, which also happen to be anti-depressants. Not only did the medication treat my anxiety, but it induced a state of depression, to the point where I was feeling suicidal. While I did not take any direct suicidal actions, I did think about it a lot and I expressed these thoughts once which ended up with me being brought to the hospital in the back of a police car. I was released from the hospital the same night.
Only a few days later I once again found myself in the same situation - in the back of a police car on my way to the hospital. The second time was based strongly on my “psychiatric history” - a systemically created demon which will now haunt me for life. During an interaction with the police, when I was discussing the abuse, there was some miscommunication. I was asked “How did he talk to you?”. My response was probably the stupidest it could have been - “With his voice.” and within seconds it was assumed I was hearing voices. It continued to get worse when asked “How with his voice?”, to which I responded “With his words…”
Being Deaf I assumed “How did he talk to you?” meant something more along the lines of “Did he speak? Sign? Write?”. By the time I had made this connection I was on my way to the hospital again. I explained this to the doctor and once again I was let go.
Fast forward a few weeks. I had long since stopped taking the anti-depressants and was more than back to my regular self. After recanting my initial police report of the abuse I decided I needed to re-report since the situation wasn’t improving. I explained what had happened the first time to the officer who took the report and I was assured he wasn’t questioning my sanity.
A few days later I called 911 after an incident. One of the first questions I was asked was about what psychiatric medications I was taking. When I assured them I wasn’t on any medications it was assumed I was in need of them and I must be hallucinating the abuse. Regardless of the fact that my psychiatrist does not feel I need to be on medications and does not feel as though I am experiencing psychosis, the police decided that this must be the case.
I am 20 years old, but despite that my parents were called and given the details of my police report and told I should be in a psychiatric facility. I was shocked. All of the professionals who work with me feel as though I am mentally stable and competent, and it seemed none of this matters because of a “psychiatric history”. Not to mention the fact I am an adult.
Add to this the police questioning my hearing loss because of my great oral skills and response to visual and tactile stimuli. I am very frustrated!
So, that is where I have been...
Jenny
I use ativan to treat acute attacks, but only weekly at the absolute most.
Jenny...I cant believe you had to go through this.
It was wrong on so many levels. 
