When unrequited love turns scary

Babyblue

Babyblue

New Member
Joined
Dec 19, 2007
Messages
12,187
Reaction score
5
When Unrequited Love Turns Scary




By KYLE MARTIN

Hernando Today

Published: February 22, 2009

Unrequited love is generally portrayed in movies and songs as a harmless obsession.

Here in the real world, it can be a bit scarier.

State law considers stalking a "repeated course of conduct intended to annoy or harass." That can be interpreted to mean anything from camping out beneath a bedroom window to three phone calls.

In a study released January, an estimated 3.4 million people identified themselves as the victims of stalking during a 12-month period in 2005 and 2006.

The study participants told the U.S. Department of Justice's Bureau of Justice Statistics that unwanted phone calls were the most common form of stalking. Almost a third of the victims said that their stalkers followed them or waited for the victim at a particular location.

But even with a rising number of stalking victims, there are still a number of misconceptions attached to this crime, experts say.

From Amy Germann's perspective, most folks associate stalking with celebrity cases such as the people who followed Jodie Foster and David Letterman.

But this latest study found that 75 percent of the victims knew their stalker. Typically, it's someone from a past relationship.

"One wants out and the other isn't ready to let go," said Germann, an assistant state attorney who prosecutes domestic violence in Hernando County.

'They Know Exactly What They're Doing'

Another misconception is that stalkers are crazy. True, there are a small number who do have mental illnesses. Most are personality disorders such as narcissism.

But "they're not delusional," said Detective Mike Proctor, author of "How To Stop A Stalker." "They know exactly what they're doing."

In his research and experience, Proctor had found there are many types of stalkers with a variety of motives. For instance, there is the erotomaniac who truly believes that their victim is love with them.

There is also the rejected stalker who is trying to reconcile a broken relationship, and the resentful stalker is out for revenge. Whatever the cause, the vast majority are acutely aware that their attentions are causing distress and anxiety.

"They basically don't care," Proctor said.

The Methods Of Stalking

The methods for stalking vary. With the advent of e-mail and social networking Web sites such as MySpace, stalking now extends to unwanted instant messaging.

Technology hasn't increased stalking, just made it easier, said Michelle Garcia, director of the National Center for Victims of Crime's Stalking Resource Center.

For instance, the global positioning satellite device that help parents keep track of teen drivers also allow stalkers to monitor the movements of their prey.

It used to be that a stalker had to go to great lengths to collect personal information on their victims. Now it's a matter of visiting a social networking site and reading everything they want about schools, friends and routines, Garcia said.

"Almost all of the technology has a legitimate purpose, but it's being used in illegal ways," she said.

Intervention

Despite the differences, there are enough common ties that law enforcement should be able to recognize a stalker. Proctor recently assisted the Los Angeles Police Department in setting up a threat assessment task force that evaluates a stalking complaint.

The complaint is categorized based on other stalkers' behavior, and frequently police can reasonably predict the suspect's next move. This brings faster protection to the victim and a swifter arrest.

One of the options afforded to victims in fear of their stalker is to ask a judge for a restraining order, or an injunction as it's known in the legal world.

The conditions can vary. Sometimes the person subject to the injunction cannot have any contact with the victim. Other times a judge will set a boundary of 500 feet.

The duration of the injunction varies, too, and that's something Germann urges the public to remember. An "indefinite" injunction still carries weight 10 years later. So even if a couple has patched things up, living together still constitutes a violation, Germann said.

Researchers still have very little information on what drives a stalker's behavior. Without a reliable "cure," it's up to the victim to prepare with effective safety planning.

"Even when intervention happens, it doesn't always stop a stalker," Garcia said.
Click to expand...


Found it interesting to read.
 
:ty: for this. This should help deafbajagal
 
Stalkin' is a disease. It has to do with mental obsession or fixation. :ugh:

I am glad they do somethin' about it.
 
Having and being in control of the person life, Stalking a person does not allow a person to live a normal life.
 
That is an interesting article. Reminds me of Dunne? I think the name of an actress killed by a stalker.
 
The way I look at it... unrequited love = foolishness...

Love is a two-way thing... If it's not, then there is no love/relationship and changing yourself or trying to change the other person is worthless because they get all they want out of the relationship while you are suffering and they could care less...
 
yeah i toward this to my friend from the website since she is expenencing someone stalking her for months.
 
Back
Top