When expecting a child, would you want it to be deaf?

[jshumko]

I know some people just plain give up and then blame everybody or everything around them. That is what I was talking about being a problem./QUOTE]

Well, this is a different story. I didn't read anyone say the people were blaming others. I agree that this would be a problem, but it could be a much deeper problem than simply giving up on wanting to hear.

Your analogy about diets hit the mark for me since I've been fat all my life. I never blamed anyone for it though because my father put the blame on me very well. That just skims the surface of what his attitude use to be towards me. I started therapy when I was in my early 30's and was told to not worry about my weight and concentrate on the deeper issues. Then I could do something about my fatness, if I wanted to. The issues have been resolved, my father and I became adults, and my so-called problem with being fat was no longer an issue for either of us.

My point is we cannot judge another person for why he/she "gives up" on something. It could be that the person really does not want the change, is not ready for the change, or (since I'm a religious person) it may not be God's will for that person.

I do agree though that to give up and then put ALL of the blame on other people and/or on the CI, would be wrong.

 

[Rose Immortal]

Smart. I think you're one of the few people I've met who actually knew Keller's politics. She even described most socialists as "to her right." She stated that she championed the socialist cause because she believed it granted equality to all people, including those with disabilities.

I wonder how much her politics were influenced by her experiences with only three senses.

You'd be surprised how informative Wikipedia is. I saw that she was an IWW member, which if I recall right was a nearly-anarchistic union at the time.

Remind me to mention your last sentence in an e-mail...

 

[deafdyke]

Hearing or not hearing is not a superficial difference. Ask any grownup who lost his/hers hearing, or have a look at people that regained hearing.
Hearing is huge. It doesn't mean that you cannot function without hearing; of course you can, but it's wrong to denigrade the sense of hearing.

Sigh.....Cloggy, it is huge.....but, well...imagine instead of being seen as "hearing impaired" we were seen as Visual Seeing people?
Would we have parents complaining b/c their kids cannot hear, or would we have parents psyched b/c their kids have very good vision?

 

[Cloggy]

Sigh.....Cloggy, it is huge.....but, well...imagine instead of being seen as "hearing impaired" we were seen as Visual Seeing people?
Would we have parents complaining b/c their kids cannot hear, or would we have parents psyched b/c their kids have very good vision?

And don't think I don't appreciate your patience with me.
And I don't focus my statements to you, I put them on the messageboard for all. Just using your commen sense to get it there..... :P

 

[jazzy]

Why do you feel that abortion is the only options than giving up for adoption? I don't mean to jump on you, but some parents been in your situation, and it's not easy being a parent, sometimes it takes alot of stress and emotionally to get the help for your child, and beside there are many families out there who can not bear to have children of their own, and what do you really mean by a child not having full quality of life like everyone else have?...Why is it important for a child to be the same as others? What is so wrong of having a deaf child?....

Been there. Done. One of my kid has learning disablitiy and it hurts me as hell that he will never get a good pay job, never get to go to college so don't tell me I want a deaf child cuz it goes same for them. Too many deafies are living in poverty, not able to find a good pay job, not able to have many great things alike normal people do ( listen to music, sound of life). I have seen too much that I hate the way of their lives. Too many of them are still living on government's money, too many them depend on hearings to do interptering, too many of them take advantage of others. Too many problems among us. I am so sick of it. U think I want my deaf child grow up in that enivroment. No way.



Also I think it is selfish for any of deafies wanna deaf children. Like wish to put mental challenge on this child. LIke wish to put eye impaired on this child. Like wish to put physical challenge on this child. And so on. It is so silly for any of them to say I want or wish to have a deaf child. There is nothing wrong having a deaf child. It is different when u say u wish to have a deaf child and u happen to have a deaf child.

Why would I want to give babies away? I don't believe give them away.
I feel sorry for deaf children out there cause they feel unwanted cause of their disablity, that's sad...If I had alot of money, I would adopted them all, all they need is love and supports and no one said life is easy, children are innocent in this, and it seem some parents rather a perfect baby that could hear.... :shaking my head in shame:

I don't feel sorry for deaf children cuz they are no different from me when I was a child. children are innocent? I don't think so.
Perfect baby? that is what u believe I want a perfect baby? I already have two heathy ( not so perfect) boys and prayed I never get a girl because she carry a defect gene from my husband. I rather them not to have that bad gene. so this bad gene is end right then and I am glad.

 

[LisaMarie]

"feel sorry for deaf children out there cause they feel unwanted cause of their disablity, that's sad...If I had alot of money, I would adopted them all, all they need is love and supports and no one said life is easy, children are innocent in this, and it seem some parents rather a perfect baby that could hear.... :shaking my head in shame:"

WHOA! dont feel sorry for us!!! we turned out OK! even some of us turned out BETTEr than hearing people!

It doesnt matter if the baby is deaf or not. as long they are healthy! Right??

 

[Kitsune]

It's been interesting reading this thread as a new comer (to AD).

Cloggy -

We had have the possibility to raise our child inside a hearing environment as a hearing person instead of inside a hearing environment as a deaf person.

This is the main sentiment I would echo rather than make a judgement about whether I preferred that my child be deaf or hearing. It's important to bring up a child in a way appropriate to his/her environment. If I chose to spend my entire life in the deaf community, I would probably want a deaf child, but if I lived predominately in the hearing community, it would be easier for my children if they were hearing _or_ had the tools to maximise their involvement in a hearing world.

 

[deafdyke]

Cloggy, actually that is inaccurate. Your daughter is hoh, NOT hearing. Despite what the experts say, hoh kids have a lot in common with the deaf world, and it's not a good idear to try to make dhh kids assimulate into the hearing world....the only job that parents have in that respect is to present the options to their kids.

 

[JeepGirl]

This will be my last post in here... it just doesn't stop but I'll just say what I wanna say.. I have come across this thinking this way.. so here it is...

Cloggy~

What do you call a person that is paralyzed from waist to down? can never walk again.. so the person wants to use a device to help them walk.. does that make the person feel whole? no... the person is always going to be handicapped.. the person is using a DEVICE to help him/her walk.

A person is blind and wants to have surgery to see if he/she can see again.. so she has it, and use glasses to try to see.. glasses is like a "device" to help the person see again.. the person is always going to be blind.. not a 20/20

A person was born deaf and needs a device to help her/his hear better. the person is definitely deaf or HOH. When using a DEVICE to help her/him hear, is called HEARING IMPAIRED! forever and ever will be HEARING IMPAIRED. You can't say your daughter is hearing because she's not 100% hearing.. she's hearing impaired. no arguements there about whether she's deaf, hoh or hearing...

end of the discussion! as for me.. i'm done..

There's my definition! bye

 

[VamPyroX]

This will be my last post in here... it just doesn't stop but I'll just say what I wanna say.. I have come across this thinking this way.. so here it is...

Cloggy~

What do you call a person that is paralyzed from waist to down? can never walk again.. so the person wants to use a device to help them walk.. does that make the person feel whole? no... the person is always going to be handicapped.. the person is using a DEVICE to help him/her walk.

A person is blind and wants to have surgery to see if he/she can see again.. so she has it, and use glasses to try to see.. glasses is like a "device" to help the person see again.. the person is always going to be blind.. not a 20/20

A person was born deaf and needs a device to help her/his hear better. the person is definitely deaf or HOH. When using a DEVICE to help her/him hear, is called HEARING IMPAIRED! forever and ever will be HEARING IMPAIRED. You can't say your daughter is hearing because she's not 100% hearing.. she's hearing impaired. no arguements there about whether she's deaf, hoh or hearing...

end of the discussion! as for me.. i'm done..

There's my definition! bye

You said it! Just because you can now hear with hearing aids or CIs doesn't mean you're "cured". That's a very common misconception that deaf people have nowadays. I've seen deaf students here at RIT who go walking around saying "I'm cured!" after they got CIs. :roll:

 

[neecy]

"Functionally hearing with the assistance of a CI".

Simple, to the point. That's what Cloggy's daughter is. That's what I am.

Quit the bickering.

 

[Cloggy]

Cloggy, actually that is inaccurate. Your daughter is hoh, NOT hearing. Despite what the experts say, hoh kids have a lot in common with the deaf world, and it's not a good idear to try to make dhh kids assimulate into the hearing world....the only job that parents have in that respect is to present the options to their kids.

You are absolutely right... but where does hoh and where does it turn into deaf.
She understands whispering.... she whispers back... Please find out the degree of hoh for me....

It's a GREAT idea to try to make dhh kids assimulate into the hearing world.
And even better if they manage to keep a connection to the deaf world.

 

[Cloggy]

This will be my last post in here... it just doesn't stop but I'll just say what I wanna say.. I have come across this thinking this way.. so here it is...

Cloggy~

What do you call a person that is paralyzed from waist to down? can never walk again.. so the person wants to use a device to help them walk.. does that make the person feel whole? no... the person is always going to be handicapped.. the person is using a DEVICE to help him/her walk.

You mean - the person can WALK!

A person is blind and wants to have surgery to see if he/she can see again.. so she has it, and use glasses to try to see.. glasses is like a "device" to help the person see again.. the person is always going to be blind.. not a 20/20

You mean - the person can SEE!

A person was born deaf and needs a device to help her/his hear better. the person is definitely deaf or HOH. When using a DEVICE to help her/him hear, is called HEARING IMPAIRED! forever and ever will be HEARING IMPAIRED. You can't say your daughter is hearing because she's not 100% hearing.. she's hearing impaired. no arguements there about whether she's deaf, hoh or hearing...

end of the discussion! as for me.. i'm done..

There's my definition! bye

Well, I'm not a 100% hearing either... But I can hear...

But I appreciate you describing your definition of hearing. What do you think about my definition?

 

[Cloggy]

You said it! Just because you can now hear with hearing aids or CIs doesn't mean you're "cured". That's a very common misconception that deaf people have nowadays. I've seen deaf students here at RIT who go walking around saying "I'm cured!" after they got CIs. :roll:

Ahh, now we are getting somewherre....

I never said she was cured. I said that she can hear! Can you FEEL the difference?
She's not cured. She was born deaf. She can hear using CI.... She can communicate with me with a brick wall in between us.... because she can hear. Oh - did I say she was not cured :P

Now, do you have a question for me?

 

[Cloggy]

"Functionally hearing with the assistance of a CI".

Simple, to the point. That's what Cloggy's daughter is. That's what I am.

Quit the bickering.

Excellent. That's my daughter.

 

[highlands]

Excellent. That's my daughter.

Cloggy, if only I had had parents like you

This thread served its purpose.. It's time to lock it up .
What about it , Cloogy ?

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Cloggy, if only I had had parents like you

This thread served its purpose.. It's time to lock it up .
What about it , Cloogy ?

No, this thread should not lock because I find this thread here is interesting...

 

[highlands]

No, this thread should not lock because I find this thread here is interesting...

Okay, let's go on killing each other *joking*

 

[deafdyke]

Well there are folks who are functionally hearing with CI, but the majority of folks with CI are functionally hoh! And Cloggy, does your daughter have signficent speech and language delays?

 

[LisaMarie]

You said it! Just because you can now hear with hearing aids or CIs doesn't mean you're "cured". That's a very common misconception that deaf people have nowadays. I've seen deaf students here at RIT who go walking around saying "I'm cured!" after they got CIs. :roll:

lmao!!!