what's wrong with me?

T

Taurus

New Member
Joined
Apr 4, 2008
Messages
615
Reaction score
1
My ex cheated me twice and didn't really care how I feel. He broke up with me so he can date her "new girlfriend" from night stand (that's why he was cheating on me) It is almost one year for me that my ex broke up with me. I tried to hang out with friends, focus on education, do my fav. hobbies, and else. I just cant move on yet.. GUESS WHAT? my ex is still living with that "new girlfriend" unbelievable! He just met her on same day of night stand! ugh..
What should I do? it seem that I cant let it go..

No, I'm not interested to date again right now because I want to get serious in education than boyfriend/relationship
 
Letting it go doesnt mean have a new boyfriend. Eventually you will let it go, and if you really cant you will live with it. There is no magic answer. I guess the "new girl" part bothers you more , and more you think on it , longer it stays in your mind. You can not let it go without taking your mind off it. Give you attention to something else if you can. If you can not, then just live with it.

p.s: Nothing is wrong with you. What you are doing is a very natural human behaviour though its not healthy in the long term.

Be Well
Hermes
 
Hermes said:
Letting it go doesnt mean have a new boyfriend. Eventually you will let it go, and if you really cant you will live with it. There is no magic answer. I guess the "new girl" part bothers you more , and more you think on it , longer it stays in your mind. You can not let it go without taking your mind off it. Give you attention to something else if you can. If you can not, then just live with it.

p.s: Nothing is wrong with you. What you are doing is a very natural human behaviour though its not healthy in the long term.

Be Well
Hermes
Click to expand...

that "new girl" dont really bother me.. it just that my ex spent more time with her than me! :roll:

you have good point.. just live with it..

I'll try to live with it..
 
If, he spends his quality time with " her " than be with you, then it is not worth it to worry about him or have him back. If, I were in your shoes, I wouldn't want him back. I will find someone else who is better than him and of course, I will learn that lesson by finding someone else who is NOT going to be like him.

Find a " hot " fish who is more interested in being with you rather than a " cold " fish who is NOT interested in being with you. :)

There's plenty of fishes out there for ya. ;)
 
Taurus said:
that "new girl" dont really bother me.. it just that my ex spent more time with her than me! :roll:
Click to expand...

The new girl, why he is with her, how long, its all part of the same package. Things usually stay in our mind when they are unsolved. We ask ourselves questions but we do not get answers and those questions remain in our thoughts.

If you pay attention to it, if you can observe it, you might notice its not really about him or her but about yourself. Like, he was with her longer than he was with me, what is wrong with me? Why didnt he stay with me longer, am I not good enough? He didnt pay me the attention he is paying her, am I not worth it?

You see all these questions start like they are about the other person but actually indicating our worries about ourselves. And without facing them , they wont go away. There is a chance you can not still let him go because of these self questions . If that is true than him and her are just an excuse you project your self worries on. I can not say , yes thats it.. Only you can recognize if it might be true or not.


Be Well
Hermes
 
Maria said:
If, he spends his quality time with " her " than be with you, then it is not worth it to worry about him or have him back. If, I were in your shoes, I wouldn't want him back. I will find someone else who is better than him and of course, I will learn that lesson by finding someone else who is NOT going to be like him.

Find a " hot " fish who is more interested in being with you rather than a " cold " fish who is NOT interested in being with you. :)

There's plenty of fishes out there for ya. ;)
Click to expand...

I dont want him back anyway, but my ex is still haunting me in my mind..
 
butt him out of the life of yours, my friend.
 
Hermes said:
The new girl, why he is with her, how long, its all part of the same package. Things usually stay in our mind when they are unsolved. We ask ourselves questions but we do not get answers and those questions remain in our thoughts.

If you pay attention to it, if you can observe it, you might notice its not really about him or her but about yourself. Like, he was with her longer than he was with me, what is wrong with me? Why didnt he stay with me longer, am I not good enough? He didnt pay me the attention he is paying her, am I not worth it?

You see all these questions start like they are about the other person but actually indicating our worries about ourselves. And without facing them , they wont go away. There is a chance you can not still let him go because of these self questions . If that is true than him and her are just an excuse you project your self worries on. I can not say , yes thats it.. Only you can recognize if it might be true or not.


Be Well
Hermes
Click to expand...

Well I know why he is with her because of good sex life..
well actually I didnt think why I'm not good enough or else..

I waited for 19 years to find mr. right.. No kiss, no sex, no date experiences till my ex..
It just a feeling like "Why he came in my life and left me just like this?"
I'm still confuse why he said that he would love me forever and ever..
but to me.. its like he is gone forever and ever.. that is so opposite of "love me forever and ever.."
I gave him everything to make him happy but he gave me nothing back..
 
Taurus said:
Dont worry, he is already out of my life.. he live in different state.. I hasnt talk to him for like 8 months or so..
Click to expand...

Just focus on whatever you are determined for... just don't put in mind what has happened 8 months ago, just think of happy thoughts :)
 
JClarke said:
Just focus on whatever you are determined for... just don't put in mind what has happened 8 months ago, just think of happy thoughts :)
Click to expand...

I did, didnt work..

one time i got 4.00gpa.. yes very determinded to get good grades.. but didnt work.. I still think about him..
 
That's really bad for you, my friend. Just try and focus a bit hard, or go to a deaf social, you might end uop meeting the guy of your dreams :lol:
 
JClarke said:
That's really bad for you, my friend. Just try and focus a bit hard, or go to a deaf social, you might end uop meeting the guy of your dreams :lol:
Click to expand...

nah, I rather to stay single for few more years..

I just want to find the way to forget him..


hey.. i have good question.. Move on mean that dont want back but still think about ex once awhile, right?

Some ppl told me that I hasnt move on.. To me, I felt like that I did move on (dont want him back anyway) but still think about him sometime..
 
well, it is a bad thing to think about him, once in a while, Taurus -- Best to totally forget him, you are done with him. He is useless for you now, what is the point to have him in your mind, really? Best to think of some happy thoughts instead of him. I have gone trhough many troubles. I'm done though. I know that moving on is hard to do, but with your great effort, you'll do just fine. :)
 
Taurus said:
nah, I rather to stay single for few more years..

I just want to find the way to forget him..


hey.. i have good question.. Move on mean that dont want back but still think about ex once awhile, right?

Some ppl told me that I hasnt move on.. To me, I felt like that I did move on (dont want him back anyway) but still think about him sometime..
Click to expand...

The way you started this thread, I dont think you moved on.. Move on means letting him go completly. If you moved on, then there wouldnt be a thread talking about him and asking whats wrong with you, nor you wouldnt need to find a way to forget him.


-
 
JClarke said:
well, it is a bad thing to think about him, once in a while, Taurus -- Best to totally forget him, you are done with him. He is useless for you now, what is the point to have him in your mind, really? Best to think of some happy thoughts instead of him. I have gone trhough many troubles. I'm done though. I know that moving on is hard to do, but with your great effort, you'll do just fine. :)
Click to expand...

yea i know, thanks for trying to help me.
 
Back
Top