what do you think about true love?

[Beach girl]

Nor me. The interesting thing is that the Disney fairy-tales of "true love" end with the wedding, then the words "and they lived happily ever after."

Those of us who have been successful in long-term marriages know that the wedding is the "beginning," not the "happy ending," of true love. Making the commitment changes everything and sets the standard for how you want your life to be.

Hubby and I will celebrate 25 years this October. So far, so good. ;-)

 

[Mrs Bucket]

Wirelessly posted

Like the majority of you I dont get the Disney reference. To be with your life partner you take everything about him/her at face value and love him/her for who he/she is. The flawsmakes everything human and being together in a relationship or a marriage for a long time is something Disney hasnt done a movie on! They'd need to do a complete series set! *wink*

 

[StSapphire]

I really don't get the Disney connection to true love.

Nor me. The interesting thing is that the Disney fairy-tales of "true love" end with the wedding, then the words "and they lived happily ever after."

Those of us who have been successful in long-term marriages know that the wedding is the "beginning," not the "happy ending," of true love. Making the commitment changes everything and sets the standard for how you want your life to be.

Hubby and I will celebrate 25 years this October. So far, so good. ;-)

Wirelessly posted

Like the majority of you I dont get the Disney reference. To be with your life partner you take everything about him/her at face value and love him/her for who he/she is. The flawsmakes everything human and being together in a relationship or a marriage for a long time is something Disney hasnt done a movie on! They'd need to do a complete series set! *wink*

The "Disney reference" has to do with the fact that all of the traditional Disney movies/cartoons have this weirdly distorted view that there's exactly One True Love in the world who exists for you (as opposed to being able to be compatible and equally happy with any number of different people), as well as the concept that once you meet and get together with your One True Love, then you will stay and live Happily Ever After (rather than the far more realistic view that there will always be bumps and issues in the world, even among people who really really love each other).

Essentially, it seems to be exactly what Beach Girl and Mrs. Bucket said - Disney movies gloss over the entirety of life after marriage, but they inundate small children with the idea that that's how reality is (or even how it should be).

 

[Reba]

The "Disney reference" has to do with the fact that all of the traditional Disney movies/cartoons have this weirdly distorted view that there's exactly One True Love in the world who exists for you (as opposed to being able to be compatible and equally happy with any number of different people), as well as the concept that once you meet and get together with your One True Love, then you will stay and live Happily Ever After (rather than the far more realistic view that there will always be bumps and issues in the world, even among people who really really love each other).

Essentially, it seems to be exactly what Beach Girl and Mrs. Bucket said - Disney movies gloss over the entirety of life after marriage, but they inundate small children with the idea that that's how reality is (or even how it should be).

Who would base their life decisions on Disney movies? They're fantasy. I never thought animated movies depicted real life relationships any more than I believed animals could talk, fairies existed, people could fly, pumpkins could change into carriages, etc. Certainly no one over age 12 could believe those movies represented real life.

 

[Beowulf]

Who would base their life decisions on Disney movies? They're fantasy. I never thought animated movies depicted real life relationships any more than I believed animals could talk, fairies existed, people could fly, pumpkins could change into carriages, etc. Certainly no one over age 12 could believe those movies represented real life.

I never heard the f word being used in a Disney movie either.

 

[rockin'robin]

Who would base their life decisions on Disney movies? They're fantasy. I never thought animated movies depicted real life relationships any more than I believed animals could talk, fairies existed, people could fly, pumpkins could change into carriages, etc. Certainly no one over age 12 could believe those movies represented real life.

I believe they do....so many teenagers, and even those in their early 20's "daydream"...and those saying "he/she's my soul mate"....Or "we were meant to be together"...."a dream come true"...they are emotionally immature.

I remmy one girl, at age 20, wanted a baby so bad, and she and her 3 friends got pregnant around the same time....they had not one iota of bringing a child into the world...one girl still believed that all there was to it, was "to pop the baby out"....when it came time for the baby to be born, and she was having to deal with the pain, she promptly said...."Forget it, I've changed my mind!...I don't want to have this baby"!

 

[Reba]

I believe they do....so many teenagers, and even those in their early 20's "daydream"...and those saying "he/she's my soul mate"....Or "we were meant to be together"...."a dream come true"...they are emotionally immature.

I remmy one girl, at age 20, wanted a baby so bad, and she and her 3 friends got pregnant around the same time....they had not one iota of bringing a child into the world...one girl still believed that all there was to it, was "to pop the baby out"....when it came time for the baby to be born, and she was having to deal with the pain, she promptly said...."Forget it, I've changed my mind!...I don't want to have this baby"!

You don't really believe that they got their ideas from Disney movies, do you? I don't recall any Disney animated movies promoting unwed pregnancy.

 

[Babyblue]

You don't really believe that they got their ideas from Disney movies, do you? I don't recall any Disney animated movies promoting unwed pregnancy.

Some people think their life will be like a fairy tale when they are in love. Like others.. I can see the fairy tale theme. but I do not blame Disney for it.

 

[Beowulf]

You don't really believe that they got their ideas from Disney movies, do you? I don't recall any Disney animated movies promoting unwed pregnancy.

Meh. Most animated movies for children feature motherless characters, not just Disney films. That is hardly true to life. Oh well.

 

[Babyblue]

Meh. Most animated movies for children feature motherless characters, not just Disney films. That is hardly true to life. Oh well.

Yup, Bambi loses his Mother, Fox and the Hound, the Fox's mother gets shot. Snow White Mother, dead.. Cinderella's Mother dead..


So I totally agree..

 

[rockin'robin]

You don't really believe that they got their ideas from Disney movies, do you? I don't recall any Disney animated movies promoting unwed pregnancy.

Well, I don't know whether or if they got it from the Disney movies or not...but I'm more than certain that many girls & women think that all they have to do is "pop the baby out"...or the "stork brought it"!...Maybe these girls were "sheltered" from reality, or just emotionally immature...same as for "daydreaming" about their "soul mate"....teenage love...and to note also, that even women in their 30's, 40's still believe in "true love"..."soul mates", etc., and not even thinking of the flaws of their mate....and upon "finding out", are in shock or denial.

Looks can be deceiving.

 

[whatdidyousay!]

(Ugh, I hope that didn't come out mushy! :-o )

No, I think is sound true to me!

 

[StSapphire]

Who would base their life decisions on Disney movies? They're fantasy. I never thought animated movies depicted real life relationships any more than I believed animals could talk, fairies existed, people could fly, pumpkins could change into carriages, etc. Certainly no one over age 12 could believe those movies represented real life.

If you don't think there are scores of emotionally immature adults who still believe, not in the specific details, but in the "lessons" learned from fairy tales from their childhood ("one true love", "love conquers all", etc) of which Disney is the most notable (I'm not saying they're the only ones at fault, or even the primary ones at fault so much as all the parents who buy them that crap and don't teach them about discerning between fiction and reality...), then you've been extremely sheltered or are simply mistaken.

You don't really believe that they got their ideas from Disney movies, do you? I don't recall any Disney animated movies promoting unwed pregnancy.

Not specifically, it's just a symptom of the larger problem of people learning "life lessons" that sounds nice, but when you actually look at them and what they're teaching, are terrible things to impart into an extremely impressionable mind.

Well, I don't know whether or if they got it from the Disney movies or not...but I'm more than certain that many girls & women think that all they have to do is "pop the baby out"...or the "stork brought it"!...Maybe these girls were "sheltered" from reality, or just emotionally immature...same as for "daydreaming" about their "soul mate"....teenage love...and to note also, that even women in their 30's, 40's still believe in "true love"..."soul mates", etc., and not even thinking of the flaws of their mate....and upon "finding out", are in shock or denial.

Looks can be deceiving.

This sounds exactly right, to me.

 

[Beach girl]

..Maybe these girls were "sheltered" from reality, or just emotionally immature...same as for "daydreaming" about their "soul mate"....teenage love...and to note also, that even women in their 30's, 40's still believe in "true love"..."soul mates", etc., and not even thinking of the flaws of their mate....and upon "finding out", are in shock or denial.

Looks can be deceiving.

What I've seen quite often is women who date, and date, and date, and claim they want a "long-term relationship," (which, I'm not even sure what that is. Someone to date for a long time? Someone to marry? The term itself is confusing...) but claim that not one of the guys they've dated and/or slept with is really "relationship material."

So why, if one wants to be married, would someone continue dating guys like that? If a woman keeps picking guys who don't want to settle down, don't want to get married, don't lead a responsible life re: jobs, income, basic stability, etc., something is wrong with the criteria of the person doing the choosing.

It's like the opposite of the "love is blind" saying. I'm thinking of one friend particularly, in her 40's, single, never married, who claims that there are just no marrying kind of guys in her town. Which is a large city with a population comfortably over one million. So she just dates whomever comes along, even when she can recognize a guy's flaws and lack of "long-term relationship" material habits from the start, and then she's surprised that she's not married yet.

I'm thinking that way down deep, she really doesn't want to be married; if she did, she would sort out the wheat from the chaff a lot earlier.

 

[Banjo]

What I've seen quite often is women who date, and date, and date, and claim they want a "long-term relationship," (which, I'm not even sure what that is. Someone to date for a long time? Someone to marry? The term itself is confusing...) but claim that not one of the guys they've dated and/or slept with is really "relationship material."

So why, if one wants to be married, would someone continue dating guys like that? If a woman keeps picking guys who don't want to settle down, don't want to get married, don't lead a responsible life re: jobs, income, basic stability, etc., something is wrong with the criteria of the person doing the choosing.

It's like the opposite of the "love is blind" saying. I'm thinking of one friend particularly, in her 40's, single, never married, who claims that there are just no marrying kind of guys in her town. Which is a large city with a population comfortably over one million. So she just dates whomever comes along, even when she can recognize a guy's flaws and lack of "long-term relationship" material habits from the start, and then she's surprised that she's not married yet.

I'm thinking that way down deep, she really doesn't want to be married; if she did, she would sort out the wheat from the chaff a lot earlier.

These people you just described, they are probably afraid of making a commitment. So they break up whenever they get cold feet or become dubious about the future of their relationships.

 

[Beach girl]

It's not so much cold feet on her part; it's that she knows right from the start that Mr. X is "polyamorous" or can't keep a job or is a lot younger than she is and wants children (and she is past that point in her life), but she gets involved in a serious relationship anyway. Then eventually he breaks it off. She's done it time and time again.

I truly don't understand behavior like that.

 

[Banjo]

It's not so much cold feet on her part; it's that she knows right from the start that Mr. X is "polyamorous" or can't keep a job or is a lot younger than she is and wants children (and she is past that point in her life), but she gets involved in a serious relationship anyway. Then eventually he breaks it off. She's done it time and time again.

I truly don't understand behavior like that.

It's a pattern then, and it's a bad one that needs to be broken up. She probably developed the pattern based on what happened during her childhood.

 

[Jiro]

It's not so much cold feet on her part; it's that she knows right from the start that Mr. X is "polyamorous" or can't keep a job or is a lot younger than she is and wants children (and she is past that point in her life), but she gets involved in a serious relationship anyway. Then eventually he breaks it off. She's done it time and time again.

I truly don't understand behavior like that.

unresolved issue from the past. needs a therapist.

 

[Jiro]

what is true love?and what is does it mean to you?

True Love - a total serenity within yourself and the confidence you exhibit. A person like that is a major source of inspiration and wisdom for others.

With that.... a person will fall in love with you for the way you are

 

[Beach girl]

Maybe so.

Yet she remains depressed that she is still single, past her mid-40's, and swears up and down that there are no marriageable men in her town.

Pointing out that the social page of the paper still carries engagement and wedding announcements every single day does nothing to persuade her otherwise. She seems to think there is some magical charm to finding someone.

Thus getting back to Disney's magic - if at some level a person truly believes that "soulmates" are some super-special, rarely found, species, then perversely, it seems that it makes it that much harder to just find a normal, good guy who would make a perfectly fine husband. Because he's not "magical," you know?