What’s the biggest lesson you’ve learnt from your past relationships?

Remember you are going to get old at some point and will be wakening up with this person next to you in bed. You don’t want to have a heart attack one morning because “what the hell is that in my bed with me”. I’m not saying you need to get a number 9 or 10 but you do need to keep this in mind.

So far I’m very happy with my wife. She is still hot to me and we have 4 wonderful children. Now for what she would say to my response I have no idea but might end up in the doghouse.
 
I've learned that girlfriends who yell and girlfriends who lie (no matter how small), are to avoided at all costs.
 
David said:
I've learned that girlfriends who yell and girlfriends who lie (no matter how small), are to avoided at all costs.
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a highly-recommended advice. that is why i cut'em off a few months ago. good riddance!
 
diehardbiker said:
Never again with PTSD! This is the hardest lesson I have learn. These people with PTSD have unstable predictions.

Second, I should have wait and take time.

Now, I am ok at least and not with PTSD freaks.
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I've been diagnosed as having PTSD by two different psychiatrists; I don't consider myself a freak. An important thing to remember, though, is that many people who have PTSD will not voluntarily admit that. Therefore, a lot of people say they have that just to draw attention to themselves.
 
David said:
I've learned that girlfriends who yell and girlfriends who lie (no matter how small), are to avoided at all costs.
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The girl has lied to me before, they are 'be gone'. I don't like being lied at for some reasons that I don't know. Like what I have experienced, humppppph
 
never learned any lessons because i have never been in it...:cool2: besides crushes and all the lovey dovey feelings i had was just a phases...:hmm:
 
David said:
I've been diagnosed as having PTSD by two different psychiatrists; I don't consider myself a freak. An important thing to remember, though, is that many people who have PTSD will not voluntarily admit that. Therefore, a lot of people say they have that just to draw attention to themselves.
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I may be dumb, but what is PTSD?
 
Jasmine4lakshmi said:
What’s the biggest lesson/s you’ve learnt from your past relationships?

The biggest lesson I have learned is never settle for second best. Never stay with someone who doesn't love you for who you are. If your gut feeling says don't trust them, don't trust them.
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Don't put your sanity and feelings in jeopardy trying to please someone who will never be satisfied with you.
 
1. keep a similar sleep schedule with her as best you can (I lost a chance to go to Lake Winnipesoka because I never slept at night)
2. Wait at least a year to put a rock of any sort on her hand. I don't care if it is a right hand ring, wait.
3. If you like her, tell her. Don't stand at the sidelines and wait for her to drop in your lap. It won't happen. Honesty and action will win the day long before evasion and inhibition will chase her away.
4. If she says no, don't cut her off as a friend. I have several girls that I asked out that I am still great friends with and have learned much from knowing them, both practical and spiritual knowledge.
5. Ok, you got the girl, but there isn't a wedding ring on her hand. Now treat her to what she wants. Make her feel like she is the most important woman in the world, but do not smother her. Give her room to breath (I am sure they need it).
6. I didn't learn this first hand, but through my brother. Yes, I know you have that longing. But seriously man, if she doesn't respect you or you don't respect yourself enough to wait, back away from the relationship and reorganize your priorities. You don't want a 9 month long wait for a problem that has two legs, two arms, eyes, and looks vaguely like an alien (yes, babies look like aliens for the first few weeks). And no, Condoms, and other contraceptive methods are NOT 100% reliable. Condoms break. Your body can build up an immunity or simply filter out the pill from your blood. IUD's are also not fully effective either. You don't want the social stigma that surrounds that. Finally, statistics have shown that married couples enjoy intercourse more (no, it isn't like Married with Children Mr Borlen.) than those outside the marriage bond. Same goes if she says no. Respect yourself and her and wait for sex. Besides, you will have, hopefully, till death do you part to enjoy that part of life. What's the big hurry?
7. Tying into the last sentence, respect is the most important part of a relationship. If you can't respect her, or she can't respect you, then what is the purpose of the relationship? Men, be nice and open the door for them girls. Girls, just let us have those bits of chivalry. It isn't saying you are incapable of opening a door, it is us saying that you are important enough to us that we would that you would allow us to open the door for you. Men, pay attention to the eyes and face when you are talking, I am certain your girl is tired of guys always staring south when she is talking (besides, for ASL, half the meaning is lost if you don't get facial expression).

Well, that is it for me. I have no advice for beyond bf/gf relationships, but that is my rant in a nutshell.
 
1 - a guy cheated on me, then I dumped him, then about 3 years later, he said he's changed. so we got back together, he still cheated on me. So now I think if guy cheat on me once then will be always cheat on me.

2 - HARD to trust any men with newborn baby. I know this guy for pretty long time, he loved kids and always played with little kids. He babysit many babies in the past. When I was pregnant 6 months, he willing to be with me and be stepdad for baby. He took care of me a lot during pregnancy times. And he was there for me at hospital when I giving birth baby. We getting turn to taking care of baby. He start complain about me focus on baby too much. And complain that I wanted to take baby with us to restaurant or anywhere. Ex bf always wanted to be alone time with me but I didn't have time for alone with him. Later, my son rib look like broken, he's only 2 half months old. We bring him to hospital, then cops showed up. I was hella confused. Cops took pictures of my son's bruises on back, chest, and face. Asked me what happened to baby. I said I don't know, I think he easy to get bruise like me. I always get bruises for no reason. Cops talked to my ex bf too. Ex bf said he don't know why baby had bruises. 1 week later, I told ex bf to take care of baby because I need my turn to sleep for school, he got pissed off and grumpy, bring baby to baby's bedroom. I went to sleep. So then, my mom caught my ex bf choked my son in son's bedroom. Because mom was in the kitchen which next to bedroom, she heard it. She took baby away from ex bf quick and tried to save my son's life. Ex bf woke me up and said sorry etc. I was LOST!!! ex bf didn't even explain clear. I went to my mom's bedroom, saw mom cried with hold my son. Mom yelled at me about what ex bf did to son etc. I got really PISSED OFF and ran push my ex bf. We called cops on him, so he got arrested to jail for about 1 week. We packed his things in the box, found a lot pictures of me naked in the bathtub while I was shaving my legs during pregnant. I didnt even know that he TOOK picture of me! disgusted! He's really pervert, always cried when I said no sex. He hurt himself everytime I said no sex. Gosh. I am really glad he out of my LIFE! Now hard for me to trust ANY men with newborn baby. But I do trust fewww men who is very good person. Ohhh yea my son is still alive, he's 2 half now..omg I don't know what I'd do without my son!
 
a question, if someone keep lie lie lie for 1 year, I told him to STOP lie and need to be honest. He still the same. He said he will stop lie, but still same. nothing new. But will he ever change and become honest person someday? or would he stay liar forever? LET ME know.
 
damienmommy said:
a question, if someone keep lie lie lie for 1 year, I told him to STOP lie and need to be honest. He still the same. He said he will stop lie, but still same. nothing new. But will he ever change and become honest person someday? or would he stay liar forever? LET ME know.
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not with you.. Before you take this personally .. I am NOT directing this at you, I dont even know you but i seen your pics here on AD. From my experience is that people dont change for you, they always seemed to change for someone else. Even if they appear to have changed and they are with you, before you know it - they slipped right back into that comfortable area and do that thing you hated them doing AGAIN!

I have been there not once, not twice, but THREE times!!! My heart cant take this anymore. So far I am in a relationship with my wife where she is understanding of all this and never tries to change me for who I am as she must have liked me for who I am. I am forever grateful for her just for this.

Dameinmommy- I know it seems bleak right now, but like I did - I thought I have sworn off woman till my I met my wife and I wasn't exactly young, Just hang in there and live your life the way you know how and be yourself. I can't promise , but someday your ship will come in.
 
damienmommy said:
a question, if someone keep lie lie lie for 1 year, I told him to STOP lie and need to be honest. He still the same. He said he will stop lie, but still same. nothing new. But will he ever change and become honest person someday? or would he stay liar forever? LET ME know.
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I'm sorry to hear about that. Some people are just compulsive liars. I had a boyfriend like that. When he wanted to finish with me he actually lied and said that their was nothing between us. That I'd just been seducing him. Then he sent all my things back on st Valantines day. That is except for my brailler which was the most valuble item. I never got that back.

I'm also really sorry to hear about what your other boyfriend did to your last baby. I'm glad he went to jail for it.
 
I learned that I am not the person I thought I was. Some good, some bad. But now I know me.
 
I learned that I am not as confident as I believed.

I learned that you should never get completely drunk with an older boyfriend that you've been dating for only 2 months.

I learned that if your bf/gf leaves you with an empty feeling inside - its a sign that you need to cut off the relationship.

Listen to your family about your bf/gf - they may see things youre not seeing because you are wrapped up in the relationship and unable to focus on the bigger picture.

If you feel like your dying inside and you're seeking empathy, compassion, and love outside the relationship - it may not be you. It may be your partner.

If your partner has little or no empathy for you and berates you for crying - you need to move on from the relationship. You deserve someone that's willing to be there for you in times of emotional pain.

Give yourself time to mourn the loss of your marriage, but also move on as well. Consider yourself better off as the relationship was undoable.

If your spouse abuses animals in the name of 'training' them, remove the pet and get yourself out as well. And have an adequate escape plan.

If your partner hits you, defend yourself.
 
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