unfriended due to your disabilities (the saga begins)

SilentRider

SilentRider

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I have a friend who was chatting with a deaf friend online. For months and almost everyday.. then one day the deaf friend tells her I dont want to be friends anymore because your dyslexic is causing problems. And disconnected from her life...
What do u guys make of this? Kinda harsh huh? Any stories u guys also might want to share similar to this. Go for it
 
I was just thinking that we deaf ppl would be more understanding of others with some kind of disability. Since we deal with it 24/7 . Know what I mean..
 
Not just deaf people. Everybody in a ideal world would strive to treat each person with equal amounts of consideration.
 
i dyslexia if someone no like me for it then they not my friend or meaningful person in first place,...it could be the deaf person just blunt i not trying excuse her but everyone seems to take fb friendships so seriously,...need get out to world make proper friends
 
Consideration is good...however...if someone calls me 15 times a day, even text', emails, etc., etc. ...then it becomes a problem, almost like "stalking".....

Something that I would take steps to remedy...being nice at first, and telling them (dyslexic or not)....that the numerous phone calls, texts, emails need to stop, as I'm very busy with my family....If the numerous calls and such continued...then again after a nice reply that it needs to stop...then of course, I would actually delete their calls and emails, texts, etc.

Nothing wrong with "keeping in touch" with ur friends...but everyday, every day...no way!...I speak to my family once or twice a week...if it's an emergency, then of course I would call immediately to let them know.....

Parents with children who have cell phones speak to their kids all the time, that's "normal"...the Parent knowing where their child is and what's going on....

But a "friend" calling all the time, several times a day...texting, emails, e-cards...etc., etc...is definately "tooooo much"!

Being "considerate" of your friends at all times...knowing that they do "have a life" and are busy with their own families...is best!
 
SilentRider said:
I was just thinking that we deaf ppl would be more understanding of others with some kind of disability. Since we deal with it 24/7 . Know what I mean..
Click to expand...

But what about Deaf people who do not see deafness as a disability?
They do not want sympathy.

Also, I think you are generalizing too much here.
Saying that deaf are more sympathetic towards other people with disabilities is like assuming that because my car has a flat tire that I would be more sympathetic towards someone involved in a fender bender.
Or that because someone is a vegetarian that they would be more sympathetic towards people modifying their diet to lose weight.
Or to assume that because I am Korean that I would care more about an asian person over another ethnicity (which I don't. I don't consider myself "asian" in identity. I'm Korean and American, not "asian"). They are seemingly related but really cannot be grouped as being the same thing.

Lastly, not friends anymore due to dyslexia? Maybe there's more going on than this. Having trouble communicating accurately is one thing, but also consider that:
1. Maybe she is looking for different friends, and doesn't want this friend to feel neglected while she's spending time with new friends.
2. Maybe her friends do not like her hanging out with that friend.
3. Maybe the disconnect between her life and this friend make the relationship stressful. (long-distance! oww)
4. Maybe she has simply lost interest. It happens. You like someone, you get to know them, but then it turns out that person is not as interesting as assumed.
5. Maybe one or both of them are unable to communicate what they want effectively. I always wanted to go ride my bike and play videogames as a kid, but my friends wanted to play at home and play with dolls.
 
:wave::wave::wave::hmm:
i was hoping to hear another experience. . . Well here goes mine. . I signed up on an different online chat, related to motorcycle chat. Asked who lived in bay area, if a ride can be set up etc. Chatted with a cool onliner person for a couple of weeks. Then we were going to plan a ride. So i gave my ph num. And we texted, then i got a call. Which of course i cant hear and texted back (hey texts only i cant hear, im deaf) rofl did u all guess it? Yep. . A reply (wtf ur deaf? How can we ride. Im done with u dont text. Me again)
so yeah like one commemt here, that the person probably wasnt worthwhile.
I just thought it was hilarious.
Life goes on.
:gossip: discuss welcomed
 
Wow!!! No wonder why many deaf people are flat out not interested in hearing people. Of course, each situations are different, but still!!!
 
SilentRider said:
I was just thinking that we deaf ppl would be more understanding of others with some kind of disability. Since we deal with it 24/7 . Know what I mean..
Click to expand...

No , I do not know what you mean. When I was in collage I went to the deaf and HOH office to try and some help and there where deaf students there and they would not give me the time of day. I was a new student and I found the students not be understanding at all. I am not saying all deaf people like this but being deaf or hoh does mean a person will be understanding to another other person with a disability.
 
You have to take the good with the bad in friendships, but the good has to outweigh the bad. If you can't put up with someone's issues, it is not a very good friendship for you or them. At least, in the case, the person tried and found it it wasn't for them which is better than letting it go on and finding out later.

Sadly, friendship requires work too. It is a rare person who can deal with the problems of all people.
 
SilentRider said:
I signed up on an different online chat, related to motorcycle chat. Asked who lived in bay area, if a ride can be set up etc. Chatted with a cool onliner person for a couple of weeks. Then we were going to plan a ride. So i gave my ph num. And we texted, then i got a call. Which of course i cant hear and texted back (hey texts only i cant hear, im deaf) rofl did u all guess it? Yep. . A reply (wtf ur deaf? How can we ride. Im done with u dont text. Me again)
so yeah like one commemt here, that the person probably wasnt worthwhile.
Click to expand...
I guess you being deaf was too overwhelming for the hearing person to take in.

Maybe if you had said you are deaf up front, the hearing person could figure out if he can adapt before setting up a meet....

Sometimes when I am meeting someone I only know from the phone, I will tell them I'm not white so they know who to look for.

Since I have a standard American accent on the phone, many people are surprised when they discover I am not a white woman. :roll: Oh well. I can't change their perceptions, but at least I can give them a warning.

On the flip side of this, if I am not very vocal, people will assume I don't speak any English, even though I have lived in the US for most of my life.. So as a result, I always greet people first and actively engage them in conversation, even if it goes against my personality..
 
Makes me think of matty,, the aussie who posted like crazy til people jumped on him here
 
Good posts u all.
Its true, like someone said i was too general. . Yeah it doesnt mean all deaf are alike. I should say its how i am. Ive let my lifes experience affect how i deal with others.
I also agree there is alot more postive experience when reaching out for new friends than bad. Just gotta keep working at it.
Theres no right or wrong way as everybody is different. I believe sharing feedback is also how we can learn from one another.
Thx for sharing. . Keep em coming. .
 
Good posts u all.
Its true, like someone said i was too general. . Yeah it doesnt mean all deaf are alike. I should say its how i am. Ive let my lifes experience affect how i deal with others.
I also agree there is alot more postive experience when reaching out for new friends than bad. Just gotta keep working at it.
Theres no right or wrong way as everybody is different. I believe sharing feedback is also how we can learn from one another.
Thx for sharing. . Keep em coming. .
 
I cannot tell you how many times in my pre-texting days how I would tell people I'm fluent in ASL. It is not going to mean a person who is deaf. Think of it. Women wants guys who are honest upfront. Don't hide the fact that you're deaf.

See, I've a hearing girlfriend who spent her own money on 2 ASL classes to learn my language and Deaf Culture.

Plus, I don't mean to be mean, but you know that a lot of people in biker crowd has a wild side to them, right? Many of them may not have the patience to sit down and learn Deaf Culture. Why learn Deaf Culture when they can go out and meet other bikers?
 
Lol, I went online the motorcycle site to ride. Not to have anything to do with deafness. I'm happy to inform ya I've met many bikers who don't give a crap I'm deaf. They just wanna ride!
Im happy to expose to them that there are deaf riders.:twisted::twisted::twisted::rockon::rockon::Owned:
 
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