Two worlds

The worst thing they ever said to me was " Why do we want to learn to sign, its just waving your hands in someones face." That's my story, the condensed version. :afro:

They've obviously never seen two people signing to eachother either, if they had they would know its more than just "waving your hands"...its a LANGUAGE!
 
They've obviously never seen two people signing to eachother either, if they had they would know its more than just "waving your hands"...its a LANGUAGE!

Excatly, Holly. It is a language, NOT "waving in the face" gesture. That is how deaf people communicate. Nick, it would turn you off, if they chuck you to a mental hospital. Hey, you're deaf! What's wrong with that in life?
 
I was born Deaf in my left ear and severly HOH in my right. My parents insisted that I be taught only oral skills, no sign. I had to teach myself sign with books and if I signed at home they would hit me for it. They still dont sign and I am not all that good at it. When my hearing finally quit in my right ear last year I was glad. For me its all lip read and talk, I sign some, but no one around me does, so I usally end up doing it if I am trying to get a point to someone and I can think of how to say it. I was mainstreamed in a public school where i was the only Deaf kid, I had no terp, or anything. It was tough. I played soccer and one friend on the team had a Deaf brother so he could sign with me which is how i learned more sign and the plays, he was my lifeline through school. I would have been lost without him growing up. He brother would come home from the Deaf school and couldnt understand why I wasnt there with him. Neither could I. I tried the "I am not going back to school unless its the Deaf school" trick for two months but it didnt work, they threatened to put me in a mental hospital instead. Needless to say I am not close with my parents. I felt and still feel that I am a dirty little secret to them, some kind of embarassment. The worst thing they ever said to me was " Why do we want to learn to sign, its just waving your hands in someones face." That's my story, the condensed version. :afro:

Wow! That's awful! What's wrong with our parents? Geez!


Seriously, JDClark...we should make a book out of this and get it published. Parents of newly diagnosed deaf children could learn a lot from this. We can share the profits. Hhehehehe
 
Wow! That's awful! What's wrong with our parents? Geez!


Seriously, JDClark...we should make a book out of this and get it published. Parents of newly diagnosed deaf children could learn a lot from this. We can share the profits. Hhehehehe

Shel, please call me Jake. :)

And that isn't so bad! We scould start writing the stories of your own expereince and PM me over a copy and I could bind it together, maybe?
 
I was born Deaf in my left ear and severly HOH in my right. My parents insisted that I be taught only oral skills, no sign. I had to teach myself sign with books and if I signed at home they would hit me for it. They still dont sign and I am not all that good at it. When my hearing finally quit in my right ear last year I was glad. For me its all lip read and talk, I sign some, but no one around me does, so I usally end up doing it if I am trying to get a point to someone and I can think of how to say it. I was mainstreamed in a public school where i was the only Deaf kid, I had no terp, or anything. It was tough. I played soccer and one friend on the team had a Deaf brother so he could sign with me which is how i learned more sign and the plays, he was my lifeline through school. I would have been lost without him growing up. He brother would come home from the Deaf school and couldnt understand why I wasnt there with him. Neither could I. I tried the "I am not going back to school unless its the Deaf school" trick for two months but it didnt work, they threatened to put me in a mental hospital instead. Needless to say I am not close with my parents. I felt and still feel that I am a dirty little secret to them, some kind of embarassment. The worst thing they ever said to me was " Why do we want to learn to sign, its just waving your hands in someones face." That's my story, the condensed version. :afro:


Wow, you had it rough! How are you dealing with all of this now?
 
Wow, you had it rough! How are you dealing with all of this now?


In October I finally moved away from my parents and the town I was in. I had lived about 20 minutes away from them. I left that end of the state and came down to the Baltimore area and I love it. I have a domestic partner, we have been together for 9 years but havent lived together for a while, its been a few years of him in FL, me in MD, then both of us living together for a few years, then apart for two. He FINALLY decided to learn ASL for me after watching me get so frustrated trying to read his lips after working all night that I threw a notebook at him :cool: LOL SO I am doing ok, I actually have a Deaf friend down here so I enjoy hanging out and chatting with him. For any of you other AD'ers. Hit me up on AOL, I love chatting and I could use any support and friends that are willing. The next thing they are trying to get me to do is either hearing aids (not sure) or a cochlear (don't want one). So its up in the air. I might try the hearing aids not sure what they will really do for me, any suggestions?
 
I haven't read all your replies... there's hundreds of them and I've not enough hours in the day to read thru them... but I thought I'd take the opportunity to reply

I'm 26 years old and I became HOH at 5 years old. This was progressive deafness until at 16 just before my GCSE (Uk end of school exams) my hearing completely went one evening while watching tv.

Right from an early age, my parents were told the 'old school' method of making sure I speak and don't sign. For me, I knew no different, where I lived, I was unaware that there was a 'deaf world' out there. I went through schooling just the same as everyone else, and no one looked upon me as different. I did have one teachin assistant who helped me once a week for homework and that was it.

At 16, because of the sudden loss of hearing, and confidence I might add, my parents decided it would be ideal for me to go to a residential college, and now I can totally understand why. Back then I was 'thrown in the deep end' and when I arrived at the college, and everyone was signing and I was sitting there like a moron.. people were asking if I was deaf because I was just talking to the staff without a bother, then I actually started getting the flak from deaf peers!

Whack me on the head if I'm wrong, but my perception of deaf/hearing worlds are no better than one another. If I speak in the hearing world I am classed as hearing, if I speak in the deaf world I am an outcast (to some people, not all) If I sign in the hearing world I am 'disabled and incapable of doing anything' and if I sign in the deaf world I am accepted.

Yet, after a few years of completely being involved in the deaf community , my speech drops, I lost contact with old friends and people decided that I was once again an outcast when I started dating my fiance (hearing) 4 years ago. I then discovered who my real friends were...

Life seems to dish out numerous obstacles, and they are never ending, they contradict one decision to another, a lifelong cycle.
 
my intro

My introduction to the Deaf community actually occurred in two parts (thus far). Firstly, I started college at Tennessee Temple University as a Pre-law major (for those who know about TTU, that is the Interdisciplinary BA program). I had a single semester of what my high school transcripts called "sign language" (in reality it was a cheap SEE course with a teacher I have now discovered to be, though without a Deaf relative, an oralistic audist who thinks all of us who believe in the Deaf culture/community are, and I quote, "Off our rockers":dunno2:, and my mom wonders why it wasn't accepted as a foreign language). At that point in time, I knew maybe 5-10 signs from that class and thought I was never going to use them in my life.

About 3 months into my major, and several naps through the classes taught by the person who would be teaching my upper level classes, Mrs. Mary Oxendine (who is Deaf) invited me to the Deaf service at Highland Park Baptist Church. My initial thoughts are that it wasn't for me. I was on the fast track to becoming part of the Christian Law Association and fulfilling my dreams. Well, I started having migraines shortly thereafter and about two months later, I am back in school for the spring semester and I had a migraine on a wednesday night, the day that I usually went to the Stained Glass service. Now, the Stained Glass service is the college student's service and it was held in the St Andrew's building next to the seminary building. The placement of the instruments and the 6 ft tall speakers was right in the corner of the back of the building, and the walls curved at the top in a semi-circular dome that threw all the noise back into the crowd, thus creating a reverberation that even caused some of my Deaf friends (those I have gained since I started my new major) to have trouble with the noise factor. I knew my migraine would not let me go into there that night, but, not wanting to just skip church, I remembered being invited to the Deaf service, and thought (no I am not kidding on the next part) "They don't need any speakers, or really, much loud speaking at all" and decided to go there.

Dale, who is Mary's husband, interpreter for HPBC, and head of the Deaf Ministry there, offered to voice for me, for which I was thankful, and I, with my aptitude for languages, started learning signs at that first service. At first, I was merely intrigued, then, after my third visit, fascinated with the differences between myself and the small, yet vibrant group of Deaf people, and also at the fact that two of the hearing people involved were also among my inner circle of friends (to which I have told they can't have those little chats at the table in a language nobody understands anymore, now that three of us at the table other than them know ASL). I ended up changing my major at Spring Break, despite my mother's obvious distaste for the decision (some of my former SEE teacher's philosophies rubbed off on her).

The second part was my introduction to those outside of the Deaf service at HPBC, at the Deaf Volleyball Tournament that was hosted by TTU. I remember the first person who greeted me and had a larger conversation than HI, HOW YOU and FINE was a girl named Michelle (Signed as attitude with an "M", and for good reason) who had a knack for mischief (I usually like to keep my hat on my head, not running around the basketball court).

I have since been learning a lot of things, which, if I were to write them down, I would break the word limit on the thread, so I will leave it at that, for now.
 
Back
Top