Trying to understand what it's like for my son

lucas said:
fact of the matter is when u go to an interview and you have excellent speech they wont even assume ur deaf. Just that you have an accent. I guess jobs differ from when your younger to older. I dont even tell 95% of my employers im hard of hearing and ive goten jobs no problem.
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Lucas, yes but teen-age jobs or competitive jobs? With competiive jobs often some dumbassed middle manager will hear someone's deaf speech, and assume that they are mentally handicapped. THAT happens to me more often then not.
 
lucas said:
ive been lookin into that but i know no ASL and im afraid i wont be able to afford to live there due to money being tight these days. It definitly would benefit me though
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They have programs for new signers both at Gally and at NTID. As a matter of fact, 20% of NTIDers come to the school knowing NO sign. There's also financial aid isn't there? I think it would be BEYOND worth it.....you would find yourself as a Deaf man......and trust me, your experiance is very very common among oral deaf teens. Very few oral deaf teens have a High School Musical style middle/high school experiance.....Talk to your parents and see if you could go to Gally or NTID. The experiance would be amazing....and you wouldn't be the only oral (matter of fact in the old days there used to be a lot of kids from the four big oral schools that had grades (Sunshine Cottage, Clarke, St. Joseph's and CID) going there. In fact, it hasn't really been voice off for years. That's a really huge myth that deaf schools and deaf culture is some voice off no oral skills Deaf militant's paradise.
 
Audiofuzzy said:
I suppose we all have different experiences, then,
because I did exactly what Lucas did- with my barely visible impaired speech I also hid the fact I am HoH so I got a job without a hitch,
then it was too late to fire me as I proved my worth by then.

The second time around it was even easier since as an immigrant I blamed
my "mind fuzziness" on not speaking English :)

Fuzzy
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I tried that tactic and I ended up making a big fool out of myself pretending to be someone I am not. It is better to be honest.
 
Audiofuzzy said:
oh for....


I think I'd know what I wanted to say, period:


Fuzzy
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Fuzzy - you said that after I made it explicitly clear i was discriminated not because of good speech skills but because of my deafness.

Whatever. Like you say, let's not bicker.
 
lucas said:
ive also been told george brown i think? or maybe humber? has a strong deaf community in its school. Either way the path im on currently is not working out for me. Depression, isolation, trouble with the law i need to do something positive. Gallaudet would be nice. A fresh start. i shall browse their website and talk to my parents about it. I just know my friends are gona tell me u dont need to go to a school for deaf people and im going to feel bad about admiting all my weaknesses that they are unaware of.
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Don't feel bad because of them. They are not aware (I assume they are hearing)
of the level of difficulties you are faced with. They can't possibly understand what it's like to be you.
They'll think, understandably, by telling you "you don't need" etc they will boost your self esteem - your job is to explain to them
this is not what you need from them, and why.

If they are good friends, they will support your decision to go to
"the deaf school" and "deaf ways".
If not, then believe me, they are not worth keeping, as painful as it is.
Nobody need a source of stress and self doubt around them.

Also, there is no need for you to feel bad for ANY reason.

You just happened to be thrown into a hearing world while NOT being hearing yourself - and you did it excellently to the best of your abilities.
There is only so much you can do without any assistance- as EVERYONE of us
deaf and HoH do.
You already discovered and showed you can do it in the hearing world.

It's simply time now to explore other venues.


Good luck with discovering the Deaf life.

Fuzzy
 
shel90 said:
I tried that tactic and I ended up making a big fool out of myself pretending to be someone I am not. It is better to be honest.
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I never did. Maybe I hear better than you? Maybe I speak better than you?
I am not trying to be a jackass here, it's just a possibility.

ps- please remember I was losing my hearing slowly, so it made a difference.

Fuzzy
 
DeafCaroline said:
Fuzzy - you said that after I made it explicitly clear i was discriminated not because of good speech skills but because of my deafness.

Whatever. Like you say, let's not bicker.
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groaaan. yet it is you who can't put to rest.

DC - the whole thing started with Lucas who said if you have good speech skills you may have better chances at employment :

lucas #13
Your child's speech may not be up to par with someone who can hear well but if the job interview, when he is 20, is between two equally qualified people one of whom cannot speak at all who do you think is getting the job?
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I said I agree,

and then enter you:

DeafCaroline #30
It was my deafness that concerned them, not my speech. and by the way, my speech is very good.
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My point exactly, YOUR SPEECH IS GOOD.

Nobody complained about your speech b/c your speech happened to be good.

I am astonished you still can't get my point. As it is not about you not being hired because of being deaf, this is about your speech not being an issue in this.
I get it, i get it, I get! - you needed to be able to pick a phones, hear others in a meetings etc - but do you get MY pov????
doesn't look like.
well, one can always hope.

BTW I meant to say it at the start - congratulations on becoming self employed and being your own boss! :wave:
More power to you!!
( respectful bow )


Now, on totally different subject,
suppose there was you applying somewhere else where nobody minded deaf applicants,
and there was someone else applying with no speech,
guess who'd get chosen?

I can imagine how the conversation goes:

"Well, they are both quite skilled, it's just with this one it will be a bit easier to communicate, no?... "
"Weeelllll...... wouldn't that be discrimination?"
"Weeeellll, not really, because being able to communicate in this job efficiently is a requirement, hmm"


Fuzzy
 
Well - I will say this. I have excellent speech skills. I do not have a deaf accent and have never sounded like a deaf person. I was told that, in those specific words, by numerous hoh and hearing people who know deaf people.

I have been turned down many times for jobs since I cannot hear. They claim I have a refusal to try HA's and CI's and therefore I am not worth their time. No amount of telling them that I am not a candidate will assure them of my points. Never mind the fact that I have numerous years experience in all kinds of things, but mostly office work. They get around the law by saying something totally different, but yet, I am told on the phone or in the interview that it's because of my lack of hearing.
 
Wirelessly posted (droid)

Kristina, are you even a candidate for CI? How can they assume refusal when you may not be a candidate?
 
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