Tips (death in family/friend)

MsGiglz

MsGiglz

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I thought it gonna be good thread for kids and parents....

Tips for kids.. or ideas..

Good example right now, I am going through difficult and saddness kids (older) and little ones.. myself too.. we lost a great person next door.. her name is Kim, she just turned 37 on Feb 28. and died yesterday.. she had pneumonia that she couldnt fight... Kim have only child and husband.. Only child Kourntey.. she is 12-- best/good friends with our kids... Husband/Dad Adam is good man! I sent older kids shoveled snow out of their sidewalk and driveway (we just got 2nd snow storm)..

Neighbors and I discuss and helping out for the family.. but.. what I am asking .. tips.. for kids..

Our older kids are really down.. I encouraged them to go over and give Kourntey hugs and tell her that we are here for her if she need.. our kids are scared cuz dont want break down cuz its so hard.. Kids want to make something special for Kourntey.. dont want do overboard.. dont want make Kourntey become so obessive of mother or wont let her go..

any ideas? :) and maybe you will learn from this for yourself in future..

thanks
 
MsGiglz said:
I thought it gonna be good thread for kids and parents....

Tips for kids.. or ideas..

Good example right now, I am going through difficult and saddness kids (older) and little ones.. myself too.. we lost a great person next door.. her name is Kim, she just turned 37 on Feb 28. and died yesterday.. she had pneumonia that she couldnt fight... Kim have only child and husband.. Only child Kourntey.. she is 12-- best/good friends with our kids... Husband/Dad Adam is good man! I sent older kids shoveled snow out of their sidewalk and driveway (we just got 2nd snow storm)..

Neighbors and I discuss and helping out for the family.. but.. what I am asking .. tips.. for kids..

Our older kids are really down.. I encouraged them to go over and give Kourntey hugs and tell her that we are here for her if she need.. our kids are scared cuz dont want break down cuz its so hard.. Kids want to make something special for Kourntey.. dont want do overboard.. dont want make Kourntey become so obessive of mother or wont let her go..

any ideas? :) and maybe you will learn from this for yourself in future..

thanks
Click to expand...

I think basically you can't force your kids to help out as they have feelings more deeply than us.. Just let them do what they want to do... Maybe have outside help other than your family at times.. I think it's pretty raw right now to feel what's right or wrong to do.. There's no manual to teach you what to do in this trying time. I know how hard it is.. it just takes time to heal.. Maybe Kourntey could go with her other relatives somehow or a kid therapist to help out as you can't force a lil child to not think of their mother... Maybe if you know what Kourntey like or love to do you could do that maybe go camping or horseback riding or something... I'm not an expert in this... I would just give it time, time will heal... Bless your heart for helping out your neighbour... just be yourself smile..
 
Sorry to hear she died so young.

Any small things would be helpful like cook a caserole dinner or making a cake for them as I am sure they will like it.

Take Kourtney outing like walk to the park, shopping, bicycle ride and swimming in your summer.
 
My son's father died when he was 6, and he was too young to understand exactly what was happening. You just have to deal with things according to their age, and what they are capable of understanding.

Then when his grandmother died when he was 12, alot of stuff about his father's death came back up for him, and made it even harder. That's when I took him to a counselor to help him deal with his grief.

Tell you children to let their friend know that they are there for her. That's what she needs most right now. And to not worry about being emotional around her, becasue that way she will understand that they cared about her mom, and they care about her, also. It's okay to show emotion. In fact, it's good to show emotion. It really helps to work through the grief process.

As for Kourtney, this is not the hardest time for her. Everything is raw, but at first, it all seems kind of not real. She will continue to have hard times for awhile. Maybe, 6 months or 1 year from now, she could be taking a walk and see a flower that her mom liked, and break down all over again. It takes a long time for a child to learn to accept loosing aparent. She will have times when she is angry at her mom for dying, there will be times that she feels like her mom deserted her, and that it is unfair. Just be there for her and let her know that whatever she is feeling is okay, that everyone goes through this kind of confusion and all sorts of mixed up feelings after they lose someone they love. Encourage her to think of all the wonderful things her mom gave her as she was growing up--even little things like how to bake cookies. And to remember the good times. If she feels like venting--just let her vent, and then offer her hugs.

My heart goes out to both your neighbors and your family. Be kind to yourselves right now, and know that it will get easier. Not soon, but it will.

One more thing--Kourtney might be afraid to show how bad she feels around her dad, because she knows he is hurting emotionally, too. She will probably try to be strong, and to help take care of him. But, she needs somewhere safe to let her emotions out too, because if she holds it in, she will not get over things. So you can be that safe place for her.
 
Jillio- well spoken... thanks.. sound just right and make senses.. also.. very true... thanks for your time input wonderful well spoken post..

Canuckian_Chick & Opal--

thanks for your time.. and yeah.. I just make sure.. because I am the one couldnt get over or I must say, I admit.. that I am an obessive of my dad.. everytime, I talked about Dad or see Dad's pics... I get real emotionally and break down.. I still not get over the grief... sighs.. its been 20 years.. :) so thats why, I am asking for tips..

take care ya all
 
MsGiglz said:
Jillio- well spoken... thanks.. sound just right and make senses.. also.. very true... thanks for your time input wonderful well spoken post..

Canuckian_Chick & Opal--

thanks for your time.. and yeah.. I just make sure.. because I am the one couldnt get over or I must say, I admit.. that I am an obessive of my dad.. everytime, I talked about Dad or see Dad's pics... I get real emotionally and break down.. I still not get over the grief... sighs.. its been 20 years.. :) so thats why, I am asking for tips..

take care ya all
Click to expand...

Everyone gets over their grief on their own time table. It's okay that you still have tough times over your dad. I was very close to my dad, and sometimes, it all comes back up for me too.

You're very welcome.
 
2 months ago my nephew's 2 friends' mom was killed in car accident a week after new year they were really sad

so what my sister did is have them over after school and helping them with homeworks and play and etc.. to keep them busy and have somebody there to support

my family have been through lot ourselves and know what do with our grief keep us busy and keep us in mind but we do grieve alone or with somebody for support have them there for us

so be there for the little girl for support and show that you are always there for her smile msgigzl
 
MsGiglz said:
Jillio- well spoken... thanks.. sound just right and make senses.. also.. very true... thanks for your time input wonderful well spoken post..

Canuckian_Chick & Opal--

thanks for your time.. and yeah.. I just make sure.. because I am the one couldnt get over or I must say, I admit.. that I am an obessive of my dad.. everytime, I talked about Dad or see Dad's pics... I get real emotionally and break down.. I still not get over the grief... sighs.. its been 20 years.. :) so thats why, I am asking for tips..

take care ya all
Click to expand...

Hey girl, it's understandable to break down and be emotionally when it pops up as I know from the experience losing my 19 years old nephew two years ago on valentine's day... People grieve differently than others.. there's no book to tell you what's right or wrong smile.. Just remember this "BE YOURSELF" smile.. hang in there!! BLESS YOUR HEART for being Supportive to your neighbors!!
 
*nodding, sad thread here* :(

It was happeend to us, too.

My eldest son Danny befriend with Dwarfism since they were toddlers. We know Dwarfism family who live few houses away from our house. Dwarfism´s father cheated mother with other woman. They divorced... Few years later she met a guy, few years younger than her. They get married after live together for one year. Few months later after they married, she have knee pains and thought it´s pain due her garden work... because she kneed all the time, that how it affect her knee pain. She went to Specialist and found out it´s tumor but it´s too late to save it... cancer is already jump to everywhere in her body from her right knee... 6 months later after that, she died. It was happened at 2 years ago. Dwarfism trust my son that his mother won´t stay alive longer and then my son asked me to promise to not tell Dwarfism´s family or anyone what we know about her illness and told us about this. I´m total surprised that Dwarfism & his siblings are very brave and accept the fact that they will lost their mother soon. I agree that prepare to tell the children is the best then they will know... It´s hard to beleive that it´s really true because I have seen her & her 2nd husband walk with a dog... she look well but I know she walk odd because of her knee pain. My son told me that Dwarfism´s mother died peacefully in her house... It´s hurt because I know her for years... Alot of people in village shock about her death... After her death, Dwarfism and his siblings have to move out to live with their father which is 25 miles away from our area. My son and Dwarfism still contact each other per phone and he came to stay with us for the weekends often or he at their place... My son told me that he can´t image to lost me and can´t understand how brave Dwarfism is... Oh yes he cried when we were at her funeral but he prepared to know that he will lost his mother.

I welcome Dwarfism as my family as long as he like to stay with us for the weekends and visit friends where he born and grow up. A lot of people welcome him and his siblings as well when they came to visit our village.
 
Liebling:-))) said:
*nodding, sad thread here* :(

It was happeend to us, too.

My eldest son Danny befriend with Dwarfism since they were toddlers. We know Dwarfism family who live few houses away from our house. Dwarfism´s father cheated mother with other woman. They divorced... Few years later she met a guy, few years younger than her. They get married after live together for one year. Few months later after they married, she have knee pains and thought it´s pain due her garden work... because she kneed all the time, that how it affect her knee pain. She went to Specialist and found out it´s tumor but it´s too late to save it... cancer is already jump to everywhere in her body from her right knee... 6 months later after that, she died. It was happened at 2 years ago. Dwarfism trust my son that his mother won´t stay alive longer and then my son asked me to promise to not tell Dwarfism´s family or anyone what we know about her illness and told us about this. I´m total surprised that Dwarfism & his siblings are very brave and accept the fact that they will lost their mother soon. I agree that prepare to tell the children is the best then they will know... It´s hard to beleive that it´s really true because I have seen her & her 2nd husband walk with a dog... she look well but I know she walk odd because of her knee pain. My son told me that Dwarfism´s mother died peacefully in her house... It´s hurt because I know her for years... Alot of people in village shock about her death... After her death, Dwarfism and his siblings have to move out to live with their father which is 25 miles away from our area. My son and Dwarfism still contact each other per phone and he came to stay with us for the weekends often or he at their place... My son told me that he can´t image to lost me and can´t understand how brave Dwarfism is... Oh yes he cried when we were at her funeral but he prepared to know that he will lost his mother.

I welcome Dwarfism as my family as long as he like to stay with us for the weekends and visit friends where he born and grow up. A lot of people welcome him and his siblings as well when they came to visit our village.
Click to expand...

Awww sorry to hear about the sad news... well I think maybe it just me but kids do adapt very well in these circumstances... They'll ask questions and off they go to play... I'm not too sure about if this is right...
 
when i was 14 years old i had lost my childhood best friend Monique Washington she is black girls im been grew-up with her for longtimes till she pass away in 1995 dues forgot of medicine and she ingores the medicine they she pass away at airport and i never says goodbyes to her but im wishes my friend would alives today but im miss her very much.

in March 1995 when i was 13 years old im going to my great-grandfather's funeral and i got little cry and sobbing lots when im miss my great-grandfather's funeral but i cant help it.they later in December 1999 my great-grandmother's pass away before christmas but i leaves school for funeral and my mom wait for me and tell me about her own grandmother's died they im leave to Arkansas for funeral but im wishes my great-grandparents would alives today.
 
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