the word "Deaf brat"

rjr2006

rjr2006

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Has anyone had been called "deaf brat " in the hearing world?

My mom calls me that all the time, but I kept telling her that DEAF AND HEARING people are not different. She doesn't understand anything about deaf culture and she hurt my feelings by calling me that word. I believe that interpreters are more knowledge in deaf culture than any hearing parents with deaf children. I don't know how to have mom stop calling me that word... Any suggestions and advice would be very helpful since I feel insulted and deeply hurt in the hearing world.
 
rjr2006 said:
Has anyone had been called "deaf brat " in the hearing world?

My mom calls me that all the time, but I kept telling her that DEAF AND HEARING people are not different. She doesn't understand anything about deaf culture and she hurt my feelings by calling me that word. I believe that interpreters are more knowledge in deaf culture than any hearing parents with deaf children. I don't know how to have mom stop calling me that word... Any suggestions and advice would be very helpful since I feel insulted and deeply hurt in the hearing world.
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My parents had never made derogatory remarks on my deafness toward me in my entire life. Never did, and they wouldn't dare to.

Perhaps your mother is a tad desensitized and should be discussed in a long conversation. I'm sorry to hear that you deal with it all of the times, she should know better. :-/
 
I am very sorry that your mom doesn't understand and respect your feelings. Has your mom met any other Deaf people? I wonder if there are some Deaf adults that you respect, that she could meet? Maybe they could explain to her how much they hurt in their childhoods when family members were not nice to them. Is your mom willing to read AD postings of Deaf members, or other hearing parents?

But I am afraid that if you have already told your mom that your feelings are hurt, and she continues to do that, then I really don't know what will change her mind. Most moms don't want to hurt their children's feelings.

To be honest, I don't think moms, hearing or Deaf, should call their children, whether hearing or Deaf, "brats". That is not a nice word.

You are a sensitive young man, and I think that is a very good quality. However, the time may be coming that you will have to "toughen up" against the pain of the world. Sometimes the people in this world are thoughtless, rude, or cruel. (I am not saying this about your mom, but people in general.) You need to understand that you can't change other people. But you can change yourself. You can tell yourself that you will not let other people's bad attitudes and words hurt you. If other people say negative things about or to you, just know that it is their problem, not yours.

Life is not always easy but I think you have the intelligence and attitude to succeed. :thumb:
 
Reba said:
I am very sorry that your mom doesn't understand and respect your feelings. Has your mom met any other Deaf people?
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Yes, she only met one last summer and that deaf woman came to my house with paperwork since they are required in order for me to become a client for the interpreter agency, that was when I became a legal adult last year. my mom said negative comments on her (doesn't smile, rudeness, etc), but she was taught differently.
 
Have you talk to her about how this makes you feel? If so, then there is nothing that is really going to change that. Some parents are just difficult to deal with. Does she use it as a sarcastic or serious remark?

As Will Smith once said, "parents just don't understand."
 
i've been called a brat many a times, and i know it hurts a bit sometime. . .
I'm so sorry that your mum is so insensitive. :( Just be strong!
 
Since your mom calls you Deaf Brat...why dont you call her "Mom Brat"...to get even with her...to teach her a lesson! Perhaps it might will work and she will realized that can hurt anyone's feelings...
 
I don't think insulting one's mother is a solution to anything. I think rjr wants mutual respect, not mutual disrespect.
 
Reba said:
I am very sorry that your mom doesn't understand and respect your feelings. Has your mom met any other Deaf people? I wonder if there are some Deaf adults that you respect, that she could meet? Maybe they could explain to her how much they hurt in their childhoods when family members were not nice to them. Is your mom willing to read AD postings of Deaf members, or other hearing parents?

But I am afraid that if you have already told your mom that your feelings are hurt, and she continues to do that, then I really don't know what will change her mind. Most moms don't want to hurt their children's feelings.

To be honest, I don't think moms, hearing or Deaf, should call their children, whether hearing or Deaf, "brats". That is not a nice word.

You are a sensitive young man, and I think that is a very good quality. However, the time may be coming that you will have to "toughen up" against the pain of the world. Sometimes the people in this world are thoughtless, rude, or cruel. (I am not saying this about your mom, but people in general.) You need to understand that you can't change other people. But you can change yourself. You can tell yourself that you will not let other people's bad attitudes and words hurt you. If other people say negative things about or to you, just know that it is their problem, not yours.

Life is not always easy but I think you have the intelligence and attitude to succeed. :thumb:
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:( RJR, I agree completely with what Reba says, I am hearing also, and never, never would I ever call my child a deaf brat. I do have a foster son that is deaf, he suffers from ADHD and PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) which I blame his biological parent's for. They have done so much to hurt this poor little guy. What if you were to ask your Mom to sit with you for a minute and just talk without any insults, and ask her to turn the tables a minute, and think how she would feel if she were to be called names like she calls you? Make her think about that one, because honestly, I don't she even realizes how hurt and torn you are to be called names by a woman who has given birth to you. Make her understand RJR what she is doing to you. Ask her how can you as her son respect a mom who calls her son a "deaf brat". That may give her something to think about, because Mom is very lucky to have such a wonderful and caring son like you.
Good luck RJR and God bless, please keep me posted as to how are you doing with Mom!! I will pray for you!!! Keep smiling!! :angel:
 
It breaks my heart to hear that your mom calls you deaf brat. From what I have seen so far on AD, you come across as a sensitive, intelligent and caring young man.

She does not know what she is doing. Do you have a father that you could talk to about your mom's calling you these words? What about your brothers?

Another suggestion I have is to write her a long letter, explaining your feelings. Pour everything onto a paper and have her read it. You are very articulate. :hug:
 
I'm really sorry to hear what your mom called you....but I agree with Megan here, writing a letter to your mom to express how you feel about her using that word, maybe she would think TWICE before using that word again....

I'm a mother of 3, and I could never used those type of words to my children, she should know better cause that doesn't show much love toward her children but to put them down by hurting their feelings...
 
I am really sorry to hear about that, but it never happen to me before (for calling deaf brat or something else) I wish I could help you with this, but when I was young, my parents were very protective of me because they don't know anything about deaf culture. They thinks that I should be in hearing world until they met some of my deaf friends and other people, they learned about deaf culture until I got in high school, my mom learned so much and she respects me for what I want to be in deaf world instead of hearing world. So I just think that your mom needs to know a lot about deaf culture then she would able to stop calling you that or something...
 
:gpost: Meg and Angel. RJR, I didn't of that before on my other posting. One can express themselves so much more when they write a letter. It would be a good idea if you wrote Mom a letter, telling her how you feel when she calls you these names, and hurting you the way she does.

You are a very bright, sensitive and feeling person, and words like this should not come from a mother to her child.

I hope you will try and follow through with what Meg and Angel have encouraged, and by writing a letter to your Mom, you will surprise yourself on how much your message will get across to your Mom. Again good luck, you're in my prayers, and keep me posted as to how things are going. :angel:
 
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