The Lost Friendship

joythinker

joythinker

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Has this happened to any of you:
You were the best of childhood friends, and then had to go separate ways, perhaps your family is moving out of the area. Now after some 15 years or so of not being in touch you finally meet again! However, you just cannot get along, it's kind of awkward. You find you are infact total strangers. Weird moments.
 
That would potentially happen.

THink of two 10 years old guys. Both of them have obsession about turbocharged engines.

They move away from each other. They cross path 15 years later.

Now, one 25 year old guy wants turbo to be outlawed. The other 25 year old go to EVERY NASCAR events. They grow apart. It can happen. Different interests, you know.
 
dereksbicycles said:
That would potentially happen.

THink of two 10 years old guys. Both of them have obsession about turbocharged engines.

They move away from each other. They cross path 15 years later.

Now, one 25 year old guy wants turbo to be outlawed. The other 25 year old go to EVERY NASCAR events. They grow apart. It can happen. Different interests, you know.
Click to expand...

good analogy
 
Yeah, that is the problem when old friends especially from high school grow up and change. Not the same way when we were kids and teenagers. We can chat for a little while and try to get to know each other again but yeah, that is difficult when there is other interests beside sharing my interests. I had change after I graduated from high school. Just have to grow up. :(
 
Yes , I had a girlfriend in school and we became best friends and hung out together a lot etc. Then I moved to California for 9 nine years and when I moved back East again I notice I less in common with my friend , I still love her very much but our interests where not same . My friend did become very good friend with my younger sister and my mother . I was fine with this and it was nice for my friend because her mother had dies and my mom told me that she loved my friend like a daughter . My friend and I where born days apart on the same year . Her birthday is on the Dec 12 and I miss not be able call her . She dies when she was 40 yo from a brain tumor. I am going to light a candle on her birthday. RIP Dear friend.
 
I think that human's best and worst tool is the ability to change. Without adaptation we would have died out long ago. We've no claw, fang, wing or armour. Only our wits and our ability to adapt and to change. Though that same evolutionary prudent factor also makes it difficult to keep long term friendships. We grow and change and evolve. It's what we do.

Our tastes change, our styles, our interests...it always saddens me when I see people I used to get on with so well that now barely give me a wave. I try not to dwell on how it used to be and why things changed, because that will only lead me to have thoughts of “Am I not a good enough person? Am I unworthy of their friendship now? Did I do something to make them resent me?”. Instead I think about the good times we did have while we were friends, how that person enhanced my life and how I (hopefully) enhanced theirs.

...but then again, I eat belly button lint.
 
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Genghisjohn, you are right. There are those moments the whole thing makes you sad, but life must go on.
 
Whatdidyousay! I am really touched by your story. Indeed, May her soul rest in peace.
 
I have lost many friendships over the course of time. I tend to spend my time alone. I am wary. Sometimes I go for long periods of time being off some where working. I get tired so way tired. And retreat to my cave and friendships don't last when they are not fed.
In my family it is natural for us men to have one great friend all our life. It is like a gene for it. I am still friends with my boyhood buddy. Our names are carved in stuff around here still from then. Our lives have taken many different courses. We are polar opposites politically. He has a bunch of kids and I have none. He works all the time - I work the same amount of hours in half the time working overtime and screw off the rest of the time.
It is a huge heartwarming thing to have a friendship that somehow lasts the distance. We are getting gray now.
 
I have one deaf friend I've known for nearly 10 years, and we've had our good times and bad times, but when it came to his love life, I try to stay out, cause of certain things that happened in the past that got me in hot water. Since then, I've learned that to be a good friend is to respect what privacy he asks for.
 
Accepting them as who they are is a big part of it. If that cannot be done then none of the other stuff matters.
 
Agreed. That's why I'm careful with what info I release, cause I have my reservations about being fully accepted here, even though I'm new. I have a lot more to say, but there's one topic in particular that might scare people off, and that prevents me from posting it.
 
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