strong cliques in Deaf community

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JillyBean.MI

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A misconception I had when starting hanging around the Deaf community, that it would be more close-knit & like family. Nope, I was wrong. Full of cliques just like in the hearing world.

I'm HoH and lived mostly in the hearing world up to a few years ago after losing my job & then started surrounding myself in the Deaf community.

There are Deaf events hosted, weekly, monthly and a few yearly events. Even there people act snobby hanging around with their clique or be nice to your face but behind your back, they don't talk to you or be included in their private invitations like a birthday party or Holidays like 4th of July or New Year's
 
Yeah we Deaf are actually humans as such we have those same human traits hearie do..
Due to our size, though, and isolation clique can be magnified, along with any other human behavoir thats a negative

Our community can be very close nit..especially if went to Deaf school, ect ect, it also can be very closed to outsiders. But we are an open mind culture.

I dunno really what to add..
Im assuming you sign,
How well do you sign?
 
I think it's more simple than that. Maybe they just don't like you. I have met other Deaf/hearing that I became aware pretty quick that I didn't like them. I'm sure the same house when people meet me (especially having ASD) Though I try and be nice when meeting then in social settings. As for gossiping, I avoid that too. But Hoichi is on the money. If anything, Deaf culture is more accepting than hearing culture. Now, If you don't sign well and show up at Deaf/ASL event and gravitate to the hearing folks who are taking and you talk without signing that gets noticed and gets you negative first impressions fast. I see this when ASL students show up to social events. They make their own clique with the other hearing stridents. All gathered around one table etc. Intentional or not, this IS a good way not to get invited to future events you mention
 
Our community can be very close nit..especially if went to Deaf school, ect ect, it also can be very closed to outsiders. But we are an open mind culture.
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The community tend to shun/be closed to the DeafBlind- no matter where they went to school- deaf or hearing or if they already know sign. Saw that a lot at Gallaudet.
 
To the observation of JillyBean MI does seem to convert the hypothesis-how friendly the local deaf in "group/social interaction" to "new deaf members".

Confirmation can observed in "many comments" here in. Alldeaf.com
 
drphil said:
To the observation of JillyBean MI does seem to convert the hypothesis-how friendly the local deaf in "group/social interaction" to "new deaf members".

Confirmation can observed in "many comments" here in. Alldeaf.com
Click to expand...

If someone had some utopian view of us, that we werent like everyone else, with cliques, and assholes, and good guys and bad...
Thats not on us.
Sorry to break anyones bubble
Deaf chicks are better in bed though....."-)
 
hoichi said:
Yeah we Deaf are actually humans as such we have those same human traits hearie do..
Due to our size, though, and isolation clique can be magnified, along with any other human behavoir thats a negative

Our community can be very close nit..especially if went to Deaf school, ect ect, it also can be very closed to outsiders. But we are an open mind culture.

I dunno really what to add..
Im assuming you sign,
How well do you sign?
Click to expand...

My signing skills are fairly well. Not super fast like I've seen in some Deaf. I attended a Deaf program at a public school. Although, I was mainstream in classes with an interpreter as I got older separated from other Deaf students.

Then I was transferred to another school where I was the only HoH student using note takers in claases & always sitting in the front row.

soutthpaw said:
I think it's more simple than that. Maybe they just don't like you. I have met other Deaf/hearing that I became aware pretty quick that I didn't like them. I'm sure the same house when people meet me (especially having ASD) Though I try and be nice when meeting then in social settings. As for gossiping, I avoid that too. But Hoichi is on the money. If anything, Deaf culture is more accepting than hearing culture. Now, If you don't sign well and show up at Deaf/ASL event and gravitate to the hearing folks who are taking and you talk without signing that gets noticed and gets you negative first impressions fast. I see this when ASL students show up to social events. They make their own clique with the other hearing stridents. All gathered around one table etc. Intentional or not, this IS a good way not to get invited to future events you mention
Click to expand...

My signing is decent. Now that you've mentioned it, I wonder that could be a reason. When ASL students show up at the events, I'm happy to teach them sign language. I've noticed the Deaf that are in cliques have nothing to do with ASL students

drphil said:
To the observation of JillyBean MI does seem to convert the hypothesis-how friendly the local deaf in "group/social interaction" to "new deaf members".

Confirmation can observed in "many comments" here in. Alldeaf.com
Click to expand...

Your comment makes no sense to me
 
DeafDucky said:
The community tend to shun/be closed to the DeafBlind- no matter where they went to school- deaf or hearing or if they already know sign. Saw that a lot at Gallaudet.
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That is horrible......Deaf ID and Deaf autistic (classic autism) I could understand since ID tends to be on a different level then normal IQ people, and classic autism, (note I said classic...NOT high functioning autism/Aspergers) I ALSO could understand since they may not have the best social skills.....but why the not accepting DB?
 
I think it depends on where you are located Yes, there are cliques, but generally the Deaf community can be very welcoming .... I think the cliquey thing is SUPER DUMB. I mean most dhh people have been ostacized from the hearing world..... they should remember what it feels like and to WELCOME other dhh people who are new to the community!
 
As with most of the comments made in Alldeaf.com "try to be very careful".
Thus one can surmise the original comments were the "observations/interactions of the actual/local deaf group.
Presumably the interpretation of the local group actual responsea. If so, why bother with them in the future?
If deem "unacceptable" why key about them in this forum?
 
deafdyke said:
I think it depends on where you are located Yes, there are cliques, but generally the Deaf community can be very welcoming .... I think the cliquey thing is SUPER DUMB. I mean most dhh people have been ostacized from the hearing world..... they should remember what it feels like and to WELCOME other dhh people who are new to the community!
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No it doesn't.

Go anywhere in the country. It's like a very small town.

Everyone pretty much knows everyone and remembers everything.

It can get fairly stifling. Lots of gossip and judgement.
 
Seems to me there was a lot of negativism towards late deafened people...then again, maybe just my case.
 
I think newcomers need to be fairly thick-skinned to get fully accepted. Especially if you haven't grown up in the Deaf community. Newcomers come and go, falling out more often than not. Testing your mettle, is what is happening here. Deafies grow tired of 'samplers'. Deaf gatherings are too few and far between to be wasted on the likes of such people.
 
It would seem most persons with "deaf" conditions don't have much choice when the condition actuaiizes. Late deafened?

Thus being labelled "samplers" by the group should have one "reconsider" why "waste your time" trying to join?

Cliques suggests not" wanted"?

As been suggested before does seem to convert the label "friendly"?

As course one be part of "Alldeaf.com".
 
JillyBean.MI said:
A misconception I had when starting hanging around the Deaf community, that it would be more close-knit & like family. Nope, I was wrong. Full of cliques just like in the hearing world.

I'm HoH and lived mostly in the hearing world up to a few years ago after losing my job & then started surrounding myself in the Deaf community.

There are Deaf events hosted, weekly, monthly and a few yearly events. Even there people act snobby hanging around with their clique or be nice to your face but behind your back, they don't talk to you or be included in their private invitations like a birthday party or Holidays like 4th of July or New Year's
Click to expand...

I can image how hard it is for you to come by your own. I usually come with a close friend who introduced me to others and hit it off well. BUT I grew up in the Deaf world. Same thing that hearing world does not welcome me to participate with them for the events. I am not mad or upset at all. I totally understand why they are doing that because im doing the same thing with my deaf world. oh well.
 
deafdyke said:
HOH with progressive loss isn't late deafened......
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Who are you to decide that? :roll: There are several members here who consider themselves late-deafened because their hearing loss was mild (HOH) at first, and then became much worse later. Why should this OP be any different (in her case, AFTER high school.)
 
Frisky Feline said:
I can image how hard it is for you to come by your own. I usually come with a close friend who introduced me to others and hit it off well. BUT I grew up in the Deaf world. Same thing that hearing world does not welcome me to participate with them for the events. I am not mad or upset at all. I totally understand why they are doing that because im doing the same thing with my deaf world. oh well.
Click to expand...
Agreed, hearing world is many times worse about excluding or not making effort to include Deaf/HOH.
 
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