Star-Crossed

orione1even

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Hey all.

I love lyrics and have been a songwriter for a number of years now. I know there are some very talented people on here and I'd love to see your writing. I'll start with one of mine. It's a variation on Romeo and Juliet and I feel it's my best work. Your comments and criticism is welcomed!

“Star-crossed”
By
Hunter Barrow

Oh trusted hand of fate
I know who you are.
Your eyes light up with the moon;
You covet from afar.

Was it meant to be this way?
With the life of my lover
In a balance thinly kept
With the love of my brothers

In this world, we made a pact with one another
Wandering the Earth, never all alone
In this world, Love, we can never be together
Come with me to this sacred place
And I’ll dance your face across the sky

But will I find it in a church?
Will I find it in this vile?
I’m laying myself down tonight
Just for a little while
And as our hope lies in the earth
And across this crooked mile
I’m laying myself down tonight.

As we toil the twisting mirth,
Making arms, playing as adversaries,
There is no other on this Earth who keeps me sane
A Saint who I would gladly marry

So it came, so it lies, and so it lingers
In the passage of the times that hold our hearts prisoner
So the same, so one fire, so the finger of fate
Will surely push our hate into the pyre
And, My Love, I will rise – patience now
All that’s left is time, sweet time but will I

Will I find it in a church?
Will I find it in this vile?
I’m laying myself down tonight
Just for a little while
And as our hope lies in the earth
And across this crooked mile
I’m laying myself down tonight.


As I wake from a dream that’s all too real
The goddess braces herself against the merciful steel
And it’s clear; she did not receive word
As she forces her last three breaths into a promise
That will never be heard.

And as I wake, I see an angel fallen at my side
I feel my heart swell; how can this be right?
She fell under the spell masquerading as fate
Forgetting promises built upon the ashes of hate

And that ours is a love that must win
Nothing stands in the way of a heart that’s found its twin
But she can’t remember anything now
And I can’t bear to leave her all alone
To bear this burden by herself anyhow

But will I find it in a church?
Can I reach her with this blade?
We’re laying ourselves down tonight
From a world that pushed us away
And as our hope lies in the earth
Hand and hand across the stars
Two hearts – only love could go this far.

So I’ll go back in the arms of my World
The simple joys between a boy and a girl
Two hears, star-crossed, desperately hoping to mend
And far too eternal to end

________________________________
 
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Wow, that's beautiful. I would love to see it in ASL...
In this world, we made a pact with one another
Wondering the Earth, never all alone
In this world, Love, we can never be together
Come with me to this sacred place
And I’ll dance your face across the sky
________________________________

Should the second line be "Wandering"? :hmm:
 
Wow, that's beautiful. I would love to see it in ASL...


Should the second line be "Wandering"? :hmm:

That's a pretty kick ass suggestion! Since I am learning and it would take me a long time, would anyone mind doing this in ASL and making a video for us to see? Pretty please?!?

:ty:
 
In the Still of the Night

In the Still of the Night

In the still of the night
He comes to me, in my thoughts
and in my dreams
He appears like the fog in the moonlight

He slowly surrounds me
With his love, with his warmth
Like a spell I can't break
Like a warm syrup it covers me

His kisses melt me
His sweet whispers make me smile
The warmth of his breath when he breaths
Makes my whole body tingle

As soon as the sunlight starts
To show...

DeAnne Thakkar
 
That's a pretty kick ass suggestion! Since I am learning and it would take me a long time, would anyone mind doing this in ASL and making a video for us to see? Pretty please?!?

:ty:

I will, I will do it for you! :lol:
 
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