So frustrating.

Ildri

Ildri

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HoH and was just on the phone with my (hearing) boyfriend. As usual, I was having to ask him to repeat himself a lot. We were in a bit of an argument, so he was in a bad mood, and out of nowhere he added that it really doesn't help matters when I'm always asking for him to repeat. As though it's not frustrating for ME at all and is just some kind of burden on him!

For the record, he's generally good about repeating things or doing what he can to make things clearer. But his saying that just now just felt like a bit of a slap in the face and I just needed to vent.

:ty: and have a good evening. (Or whatever it is as you read this)
 
IN before the OMG!!11 dump your boyfriend!! group appears. :D

I know that feeling. I'm HH too myself, unilateral profound/moderate to be exact. I've had the same feeling in the past being with hearing girls, but now that I've dated HH, I can say it's a lot better thus far.
 
So it begins, Ildri. It sounds like this was on his mind a while if he said it. Ask him bluntly if he will still hold it against you in the future if you ask him to repeat. You have my sympathy, but deal with it now.
 
Are you guys the ole-'fashioned voice only calls people?

I used to go through that phase too back before texting became popular. With phone calls, I'd be like, "what was that?". If I didn't get it, by the third time it felt bad to kept asking, so I'd just gut it and say "oh... cool" without knowing what they said... It sucked!

Now we text almost exclusively, nothing is missed, voice is strictly for serious topics or if we really want to hear each other's voice.
 
Pour it out! This wont be the first time, don't let it bottle up or it'd feel like crap. We all understand and go through it everyday. That's why its nice to have a forum where we all can share and understand. Even offer suggestions or views. I've became hard-hearted so it doesnt hurt.. anyways good evening to u.:wave:
 
I do mostly texts. If your guy has pateince, I am sure he will text more and do less voice.
 
naisho said:
Are you guys the ole-'fashioned voice only calls people?
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We do text a lot, but at the moment he's living an hour away so I'm only seeing him on weekend and during the week we like to try to communicate however we can. But yeah, I'm sure I'll be using voice calls less and less- it's just too much work.

Beowulf: This is the first time I've seen a sign of impatience from him regarding my hearing (or lack thereof), and I know we were both in bad moods as it was- so while I'm not trying to make excuses for him, I don't think my hearing loss is something he genuinely holds against me or will be unwilling to work with. However, if I do see any more signs of impatience, we'll be having a serious discussion about whether or not it's something he can handle.

:ty: to everyone for the input and understanding! It's much appreciated.
 
Ildri said:
We do text a lot, but at the moment he's living an hour away so I'm only seeing him on weekend and during the week we like to try to communicate however we can. But yeah, I'm sure I'll be using voice calls less and less- it's just too much work.
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Yeah I think the future only gets better for us hoh. Looking forward to it. There's gonna be video calling on phones as a standard, voice to text translations are getting better and better!

Just a matter of when. And there's always ASL around the corner as a backup tool :D
Maybe he is frustrated for a variety of reasons, I know I am when in long distance..
 
naisho said:
Yeah I think the future only gets better for us hoh. Looking forward to it. There's gonna be video calling on phones as a standard, voice to text translations are getting better and better!

Just a matter of when! And there's always ASL around the corner as a backup tool :D
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Meh. I don't even have a cell phone. :D
 
For a long conversation, IM on a full size keyboard is easier and faster than texting I think.
 
You can't expect hearing people not to get frustrated because you can't hear them anymore than you cannot get frustrated because you can't hear.

You're both even, as you state, so it should come as a shock or anything, right?

That's what an argument is: Saying stuff you don't mean.

Otherwise, it would be a conversation.

I feel your pain.
 
Jazzberry said:
For a long conversation, IM on a full size keyboard is easier and faster than texting I think.
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If we have communicate problem we usually go to email. This way I can explain better, taking time, he can reply and I can re-read and translate what it all mean.
 
Wirelessly posted

Can you guys use Skype? That might add speech reading and text support to the mix. Arguments are always the hardest to follow. People tend to talk faster and choppier when they are snarky. It may not be worth a huge discussion yet, but letting your beau know that he crossed a line might be a good thing anyway. Best wishes!
 
Doesn't sound like your relationship is doing well.

Communication is important in deaf/hearing relationships.

Remember, a deaf person can't change to be more like a hearing person. Hearing people need to realize that.
 
I would suggest to stop using communication modes that don't work or provide barriers to a smooth conversation. If you want to hear each others voice, use Skype so you can see his face and get visual clues.
 
:ty: for your responses, everyone :)

We have had a frank discussion about the issue since my first post. I expressed my frustration with talking on the phone and explained how hard it is. Not only am I constantly straining to hear him, but I still have to keep asking him to repeat himself, which makes the conversation choppy and must get tiring for him, as well. He understood, and promised to make a point of making more use of other tools, like texting and skype. I'll let you know how that goes!
 
Beach girl said:
CapTel might be an option for you too.
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And you can try it out without buying anything. Several sites offer the service but the one that I have liked the best, so far, is Hamilton CapTel: What Is Hamilton CapTel? with a version that works with a special phone, a web site using your computer and some smart phones for a one phone solution on the go.

Sprint is another one Wireless CapTel by Sprint | Sprint800 that I tried and don't use as much simply because I was already more familiar with Hamilton's version. Sprint's Wireless CapTel by Sprint has just become generally available. And is for phones that use the Android 2.2 and above OS.

Good Luck and please let us know what you think of these. There is some lag in any of these as the captioning can't be sent to you until the other person says something and some people are easier it keep up with than others
 
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