"slowly" approaching deafness

chaymes

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My name is Christina (prefer going by my nickname Britany) and I am 26
years old. I was diagnosed about 4-5 years back with a progressive hearing
loss in both ears. The first time I was tested even further back, I had a mild to
moderate hearing loss. The last time when I was diagnosed it had jumped to
moderate to severe. Today reluctantly I got my hearing tested again mainly
for curiosity to see if it had dropped any further (I felt it has but wasn't sure).
Sure enough, I "failed" the hearing test and am now in the severe to profound
range on the audiogram. Basically it went something like this:

Right
250 hertz - 70 db; 500 hertz - 60 db; 1000 hertz - 60 db;
2000 hertz - 70 db; 3000 hertz - 75 db; 4000 hertz - 75 db;
6000 hertz - 90 db; 8000 hertz - 95 db

Left
250 hertz - 65 db; 500 hertz - 60 db; 1000 hertz - 55 db;
2000 hertz - 70 db; 3000 hertz - 70 db; 4000 hertz - 75 db;
6000 hertz - 80 db; 8000 hertz - 85 db

So I wonder to myself ... what will it be in 10 years? In less than 10 years I
have already dropped from "mild-moderate" to "severe-profound". I am
pretty certain considering the drop in hearing that I will be deaf sooner than I
thought. I like to think of it though as approaching deafness instead of losing
hearing. I am struggling between feelings of contentment based on knowing
all along it would happen and having already accepted it and feelings of fear
and shame because it is getting increasingly difficult to appear "hearing". I am
not even sure I want to appear hearing... I have always longed to be a
member of the Deaf world and I think now I need to go through the process
of acceptance once again and start learning how to be who I am ... it is too
exhausting and frustrating to be anything different than that. I hope you will
accept me into your online Deaf community. I need so much to relate to
others and to fit in and not feel so alone and like an outcast as I do feel in the
hearing world. Thank you for reading this and sorry if I confused you with the
audiogram results I got today. I just figured some of you would understand
what those figures all mean. Now that I know it is indeed dropping at a
relatively quick rate I now need to focus on learning how to live as Deaf and
that is why I am here.
 
That great for you being 1st introduction about yourself..
by the way, you're the most welcomed here on AD.

Happy to look forward seeing your forum post here.. any general...
by the way beware of BBNT.. *snickers*~ :devil:
 
:wave: welcome to AD chaymes -- enjoy ur stay! :D

we have some Late Deafened members here across the boards -- feel free to join us for some laughs :D
 
Welcome to AD, Feel free to post, read, laugh, learn, and enjoy.

there's serveral late deafend members here.. also this is a great forum to learn about deaf life. and how to cope with it :D
 
chaymes said:
I have always longed to be a
member of the Deaf world and I think now I need to go through the process
of acceptance once again and start learning how to be who I am ... it is too
exhausting and frustrating to be anything different than that. I hope you will
accept me into your online Deaf community. I need so much to relate to
others and to fit in and not feel so alone and like an outcast as I do feel in the
hearing world.

Of course you’re welcome here. :thumb: We’re not too fussy. We’ve got all sorts here: deaf, Deaf, LDA’s, hearing people, deafblind—there’s even a chimpanzee with single-sided deafness (we’re still not sure how the hell he got in here). :confused: The aforementioned bbnt can hear a duck fart in a thunderstorm, and he’s always been held in high esteem as one of our most respected and distinguished members; a kindly and gentile father figure whom many of us have looked to for advice and sage words of guidance. There’s even been talk about making him the guest of honor at the first annual alldeaf luau and hoe-down. Once we knock him over the head with an empty beer bottle and get the apple in his mouth, we’re going to take turns slow roasting him over an open pit while we all get drunk and sing endless rounds of Kumbayah. :beer:

But seriously—welcome to our small but ever growing assemblage of degenerate deafies. It’s wonderful to see an LDA freely embracing being Deaf and actually welcoming the transition. You’ve come to the right place. This is the best Deaf message board on the Web, and almost everybody here will do whatever they can to make your experience as comfortable and enlightening as it can be. What are your immediate plans for the future? Are you leaning towards becoming fluent in ASL and using it as your primary means of communication, or are you considering getting a CI, or a combination of both?
 
Welcome, Britany to AD! Rest assured, you'll enjoy your stay and peruse through the threads on here....you'll be surprised on how much you'll be entertained and welcomed! :mrgreen: :wave:
 
Hi Britany,

Welcome to AllDeaf....Glad to have you here with us.....

See you around!.
 
Thank you all for your warm welcomes. I don't know what my immediate plans are actually. For so long, I have been able to get by pretending to understand when I really didn't. I would get the majority of a sentence and then just put it together and did reasonably well. Many years back, I learned to focus on people's face for visual clues. I did not have much trouble one on one with people, but found it difficult in public and crowded environments like restaurants etc. It is only recently that I actually realized my hearing had dropped even more. Being so adjusted to the hearing loss I had, I didn't realize it dropping until I hit a serious problem. I have to go to family court in regards to my 2 month old son. The last time I was at court, a court appointed guardian was set up for my son. Being a courtroom, there were people everywhere. I used to be able to strain and semi-function even though it was tiring. This time, I couldn't understand her at all. I quickly lost interest and let her talk to the others present. After it was over and we left, I turned to a member of my family and asked them just what she had said. Others noticed it getting "worse" as well when they would talk to me and I wouldn't respond or would respond incorrectly. Usually I have done pretty well pretending to understand by saying either "cool, neat, wow, or nodding my head". What if in the court room someone asked me something serious and I responded incorrectly? That could be drastic!! I had learned to accept on some level my progressive hearing loss but recently the old feelings of embarrassment and shame returned and I have to work through the process all over again. The other way I learned of it getting "worse" was when I played my music on the headset as I had always done before. I always just turned it up louder to try to understand the words and could still relatively enjoy it. Now, the music is low dull sounds only. I cannot understand the words no matter how loud I have it turned up and it is no longer enjoyable. I have found my "preference" for music has changed from the slow music such as classical and lite rock to the music with a lot of bass like rap and alternative. Even then, I don't benefit from the lyrics or from anything other than the deep bass and vibrations emitted. The other reason I realized things had progressed is when I would be downstairs and think my baby was sleeping when all along he was crying at the top of his lungs. I would be sitting downstairs casually reading and run up to get something only to realize my baby was crying. That really made me feel terrible so now I don't go very far from where he is until I know that he is sleeping. I qualify for hearing aids for free from the state and I am at a loss for what to do. If I get the hearing aids to aid in my hearing, then am I not functioning as someone who desires to be hearing? and if I don't get the hearing aids and function in the world of the Deaf, then can't family court use that against me and say I can't hear my own baby cry and could unknowingly neglect his needs? I think for the sake of that matter, I shoudl get the hearing aids... whether I will continue to use them once this court matter is over is unknown. I have been using sign language as a secondary language for several years now although not all the time. After "fooling" people for so long by pretending to understand and speaking and using highest amplification on phones, how do I suddenly stop talking and only use sign? I feel stuck between two worlds and really don't know where I stand. All I know is that I want more than anything to be accepted by the Deaf community and part of that is going to have to be me making a decision at some point to use sign language as my primary means of communication. How I am going to go about this is beyond me but maybe while I am here, I can figure that out. :Oops:

ps. I am planning to teach my baby sign language as soon as he is physically able to manipulate his fingers on top of his learning to speak. that way if I do lose my residual hearing as they say i will and tests show, he and i can still communicate
 
i just had a rather scary experience. I was sitting here typing my last post above at the computer lab at my college when people started getting up and leaving. I didnt think much of it and kept typing away when someone tapped my shoulder and told me we had to exit the building because of the fire alarm. I had no clue a fire alarm was going off and when they told me that it really shook me up. I am still getting over it. I thought it was a fire drill or something when outside and went up to someone and asked them if this was a fire drill. They told me they didn't think it was and so I asked why noone was showing up if that was the case. They pointed ahead and would you believe two fire trucks had pulled up? I didnt know that either. I feel so embarrassed and it really alarmed me that I had no idea. Sorry, I just had to write this. I have one question in regards to this forum: where can you post things like this such as feelings of embarrassment or ways of coping and dealing with hearing loss and deafness? there is a lot of great places here but nothing for those like me who are trying to figure out where they stand and need support. any ideas on which board is good for that?
 
Wow, interesting story... Refearring to your issue about court and the baby cry thingy..

There are things you can buy that can tells if ur baby is crying...

you can go to 2 websites.. those 2 place i tend to shop

www.hearmore.com
www.harriscomm.com

there's many things that will help you.. getting baby cry singler, doorbell singler, etc..

nope.. family court can't do anything against you about the baby cry thing. However you recently become Deaf, you are totally confused (i'm sure) and have no idea how to get yourself in aid.. Its wonderful that you have come to the right place to this forum.

i'll tell you a bit about myself.. i'm a full-cusdey single father of 23 month old son.. i have been single father since my son's 2 months old.. and i survived.. i have those baby cry singler, alarm clock, fire alarms, everything in Aid to help me

however, those items are expensive.. but for the TTY, phone singler, and Fire Alarm i get it for free from the state. but alarm clock, baby cry singler i pay it out of my pocket.

hope this helps :D
 
also one more thing something popped up in my mind.

since you're in a family court... you have the right to request an interpreter.
If you're not Good in understanding the interpreter, you have a right to request other Aids while in court such as.. a computer pad on ur desk.. and it shows the text of everything what it says.. (since you're good in speaking you can speak on ur own and read what everyone in court is talking about).
 
Scuba is right on his posts -- there ARE assistive aids to help us with our needs and yes some can be given to u by the state (DVR - Dept of Vocational Rehabilition) -- i also agree with Scuba's comment abt suggesting u to consider requesting a terp for ur court appearances and the state is obligated by law to provide one for u
 
chaymes said:
I have one question in regards to this forum: where can you post things like this such as feelings of embarrassment or ways of coping and dealing with hearing loss and deafness? there is a lot of great places here but nothing for those like me who are trying to figure out where they stand and need support. any ideas on which board is good for that?

You are SO welcome to express your fears and what not, I'd prolly recommend that they go in the deaf life forum, as that is what you're coping with. Welcome to AD, do enjoy your stay. Its nice to see another LDA here :) Coping with such late deafness is hard, try being a teenager and doing it! :) I hope that you find what you're looking for/needing, whether it be here or somewhere else in life :grouphug:

Oh, an edit.. As a person who deals with going deaf later in life, I dont think theres anything you can do to prepare yourself for the mental and emotional trials you'll go through. Well, you've apparently done well the las 4-5 years since being diagnosed, (i think?) And if you ever want someone to just chat with about what happened today or something you felt was off, feel free to PM me or send me an IM on my aim (if im ever on! :P) so uhm.. i cant recall the other thing so i'll just go away :D
 
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