signing deaf of Deaf teen gets CIs despite family opposition

GrendelQ

GrendelQ

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Interesting story from a signing deaf of Deaf child whose family opposed CIs, yet who chose to get one as teenager.

Katherine’s Story, March 31st, 2012

I was born hearing, in a Deaf family, where I grew up with deaf culture, community and sign-language. Our world, especially mine, changed, when we found out I was deaf after I started school. I was then fitted with two (awesome and see-through yellow) hearing aids, and was provided support and an ITOD (itinerant teacher of the deaf) straight away in mainstream school. The doctor said that because I had progressive hearing loss, I would lose my hearing gradually as I grew up, and would be severe-profoundly deaf in my teens. He was right. I went from having a mild hearing loss to severe in ten years. I did fine with hearing aids, but because my hearing was going slowly, I would hear good one day then suddenly I struggle to hear things I would usually hear before. That was incredibly hard, especially when starting intermediate (middle) school and then high school, but I had a signed support, so I didn’t have to struggle so hard. It still had an impact, though, and I was still not accepting being deaf. Long story short, hearing aids did not do enough for me in the end. I was enjoying music less and less, and avoiding hearing people because I was afraid of misunderstanding them or they might not understand me. I also found that picking up different sounds was hard. I missed hearing little things, like the birds, noises from the kitchen etc. I started thinking about having the cochlear implant, after observing how well it worked for others. Of course, I kept my mouth shut. I was being fed with lies and misconceptions about cochlear implants while growing up. I was against it, and knew very well what the reactions would be like if I told anyone, especially my mother. After I decided to get a CI, it took longer than necessary to have one, with my mother being stubborn. She ripped up papers, and hid the consent form in the cupboard. However, she relaxed more and more after various appointments, as the experts explained the facts, what the CI does and how the surgery works. She finally accepted that it was my decision in the end, and she knew I was not fully a Deaf person, and that I missed hearing “normally”. It has been almost four months since I got switched-on, and I’m so happy! I can understand speech way much better, can pick up the little sounds and could finally enjoy music again. I’m not fully satisfied yet, but I know I still got a long way to go, after being deaf for over ten years, and that things will improve over time. I just gotta have patience, and practice, practice, practice!
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source
 
Bottesini said:
Katherine’s Story | Cochlear Implant Online

That's certainly the site to go to for stories like that! :wave:
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Yes, it's a great source for CI stories directly from young recipients themselves. They've been collecting them for years, some written, some videotaped, all pretty fascinating.

I've seen maybe one other from a DOD who got CIs there, and a few from Deaf parents who choose CIs for their kids, but not very many. Most of the stories are from teens who got CIs when much younger, and are mostly from hearing families (which reflects the ~95% of deaf are from hearing families stats we see mentioned here and there, I suppose).

(more stories from CI recipients)
 
Good story. A happy CI recipient who is reaping benefits from it.
 
I'm not sure how to take that story other than be happy for them that they finally were able to get the CI, no thanks to the mother. I'm sure the mother is a real problem when it comes to many things. You just don't go around ripping up papers trying to sabotage the process... especially as a mother. I know at least one mother like this and she is unfit as one in every way. It's all about her day in day out. The kid sounds patient and mature, evidence of evolution at work.
 
I can understand that she was born hearing and all of a sudden she doesnt hear anymore. She made a choice and is happy with it.


by the way, bleedingpurist, are you a parent?
 
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Frisky Feline said:
I can understand that she was born hearing and all of a sudden she doesnt hear anymore. She made a choice and is happy with it.


by the way, bleedingpurist, are you a parent?
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Very few people would opt to remain deaf if they were born hearing. It really is a case of knowing what you are missing.

No, I am not a parent. I do know that a parent is required to consider the needs of the child, not mommy's needs/wants. It was the mother's responsibility as a parent to fully educate herself on the FACTS of a cochlear implant PRIOR to ripping up papers, behavior you expect from a child. Entertaining community ignorance and propaganda is inexcusible when it's a reality you have to face for your HEARING child. If after knowing the facts she still had issues with the idea of her child getting one, she needed to communicate that with her child.

Katherine doesn't state her age, but her writing style conveys she is of a maturity that requires more than "because I said so" as a response from a parent, particularly over sensory deprivation. The good news is the mother caught up to her child in the maturity department and learned to approach it properly.
 
BleedingPurist said:
Very few people would opt to remain deaf if they were born hearing. It really is a case of knowing what you are missing.

No, I am not a parent. I do know that a parent is required to consider the needs of the child, not mommy's needs/wants. It was the mother's responsibility as a parent to fully educate herself on the FACTS of a cochlear implant PRIOR to ripping up papers, behavior you expect from a child. Entertaining community ignorance and propaganda is inexcusible when it's a reality you have to face for your HEARING child. If after knowing the facts she still had issues with the idea of her child getting one, she needed to communicate that with her child.

Katherine doesn't state her age, but her writing style conveys she is of a maturity that requires more than "because I said so" as a response from a parent, particularly over sensory deprivation. The good news is the mother caught up to her child in the maturity department and learned to approach it properly.
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You just made the same argument many people make for the reverse situation, when the CI is for the convenience of the hearing parent.
 
BleedingPurist said:
Very few people would opt to remain deaf if they were born hearing. It really is a case of knowing what you are missing.

No, I am not a parent. I do know that a parent is required to consider the needs of the child, not mommy's needs/wants. It was the mother's responsibility as a parent to fully educate herself on the FACTS of a cochlear implant PRIOR to ripping up papers, behavior you expect from a child. Entertaining community ignorance and propaganda is inexcusible when it's a reality you have to face for your HEARING child. If after knowing the facts she still had issues with the idea of her child getting one, she needed to communicate that with her child.

Katherine doesn't state her age, but her writing style conveys she is of a maturity that requires more than "because I said so" as a response from a parent, particularly over sensory deprivation. The good news is the mother caught up to her child in the maturity department and learned to approach it properly.
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Ok thank you for stating that you are not a parent. This is what I need to know. :aw: so it's your entitlment to have opinion about this one.
 
From the perspective of a parent of a deaf child, there's nothing "convenient" about choosing to implant. "Convenient" would be not having to make a decision, but a parent of a deaf child has to make a choice that will affect communication, language, academic choices for the child's lifetime, whether that be to implant early, implant late (after 2yo), or not to implant.

And as far as decisions unique to a deaf child, that's one of several. Unfortunately, too many people, perhaps like this child's mother, believe that choosing a CI and Deaf culture or ASL are somehow mutually exclusive, when they do not have to be.

Also, I infer that this child's deafness wasn't a sudden shift from hearing to not hearing, looks like her significant hearing loss was detected at about 5 or 6, and progressed to severe-profound and no longer helped by HAs by the time she hit her teens (she had sign support throughout school).
 
Bottesini said:
You just made the same argument many people make for the reverse situation, when the CI is for the convenience of the hearing parent.
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You mean depriving the child of choice to be hearing or deaf for the convenience of the Deaf, since once the crucial development window has passed.. that is exactly what has been done. It's about giving the child the tools to access as many levels of life as possible, not just one perspective of it. That is what a parent must weigh and accusing them of choosing to give hearing to the child for "their convenience" is short-sighted and ignores reality.
 
Frisky Feline said:
I can understand that she was born hearing and all of a sudden she doesnt hear anymore. She made a choice and is happy with it.
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Precisely, she is progressively postlingally/late deafened. Not exactly the typical DODA. She's also pretty much the perfect canidate, as she once heard normally.
 
Oh and Grendel, there are actually DODAs who are getting CIs....so what? There were prolly DODAs who got HAs back when aids became popular.
 
deafdyke said:
Oh and Grendel, there are actually DODAs who are getting CIs....so what? There were prolly DODAs who got HAs back when aids became popular.
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Yes, I've met DODs with CIs. I'm not sure what you mean by "so what," DD -- don't you think the perspective of a signing teenager who decides to get a CI is interesting? I do, especially given that my daughter's first language was ASL, and we're watching her make her own choices now, independent of our outlook.
 
Thanks for sharing, Grendel. It was interesting to read about her experience being DOD, and choosing the implant for herself. I suppose it goes back to everyone being an individual, and having their own unique set of circumstances and goals.
 
BleedingPurist said:
I'm not sure how to take that story other than be happy for them that they finally were able to get the CI, no thanks to the mother. I'm sure the mother is a real problem when it comes to many things. You just don't go around ripping up papers trying to sabotage the process... especially as a mother. I know at least one mother like this and she is unfit as one in every way. It's all about her day in day out. The kid sounds patient and mature, evidence of evolution at work.
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I can't be too hard on the mom. Most parents do the best they can, and none of us are perfect. That sounds like the reaction of a mother who was afraid for her child, possibly on a number of levels. Whether the fear is misplaced or not, I think she deserved to be dealt with respectfully, gently, and honestly, and it sounds like that is what her daughter did.

I'd be interested in knowing her perspective.
 
Honestly Grayma, I have to agree. Her daughter understands her best and successfully led her through the process to handle it gracefully. I really shouldn't be so harshly judgmental. I'm venting a bit since it reminds me of a parent/"child" situation I'm close to where this behavior is chronic and long-term. I would prefer to be wrong in perceiving that dynamic. It's a happy ending ultimately.

Her mother's perspective would be interesting and probably touching.
 
Personally I can not understand and reason (except financial maybe) why a parent would deny a child a cochlear implant.
 
Hattie94 said:
I also found that picking up different sounds was hard. I missed hearing little things, like the birds, noises from the kitchen etc. I started thinking about having the cochlear implant, after observing how well it worked for others. Of course, I kept my mouth shut. I was being fed with lies and misconceptions about cochlear implants while growing up. I was against it, and knew very well what the reactions would be like if I told anyone
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Why fear their reactions now knowing that they were lies fed to you while growing up?
 
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