RonnyJ
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- Sep 30, 2012
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Walking through Downtown Detroit today, I was signing my Mom's conversation as she spoke on the phone out of boredom. We crossed the street, I picked up my hand's again, and then some guy stops me and signs "Deaf?"
Me:
"No, hearing..."
This encounter made my day.
His name is Steve. He had written down on a piece of paper that he was trying to get back home to Ohio, but was $13 short for his ticket. I believe he was telling the truth, not because he's Deaf, just because I like to believe that about people. My Mom gave him the money he needed and then some. I felt really good for the rest of the day--not because I helped someone, that was a bonus--but simply because I met another signer. Situations like that are why I enjoy being multilingual; bumping into people and having a chat in another language. I wished it was under less stressful circumstances or we would have chatted longer, but my Mom and I had a bus to catch and so did he in the other direction. Anyway, today crushed all those little insecurities I've been having lately about leaving school last year because I won't have professional ASL skills and I won't be making a career out of it. Today blatantly reminded me that I've never given a crap about that and I don't need to start now. I didn't get into languages because I wanted to do anything big with them. I just wanted to know them, so I can talk to people from different walks of life, maybe share a common passion for non-native languages. I'm not looking to help a community with my language knowledge, that always sounded like a dramatic reason people said to sound special when asked "why are you learning sign?" I always answered "I'm a language nerd and I'm looking to make a friend or two that speak a different language." Not as exciting or commendable, but eh whatever. The only thing to miss about school is being able have more conversations at a moment's notice, but not being there doesn't mean I'll never sign with anyone, but my reflection again. It also certainly doesn't mean I'll be inadequate to other signers with years of formal education, perfect technique, and an interpreting certificate. I will maybe seem that way technically to some people who look at skill and productivity (i.e. am I doing anything important with the language) and all that jazz, but it all means nowt to me, so I will no longer feel inadequate for not being trained in ASL and not interpreting. And that, my friends, is all that matters to me. As long as I keep moving these hands and making friends I feel confident and happy.
How strangely fate works for a situation like that to happen just as I'm at a mental crossroads.
P.S. The only reason I was having those kind of negative thoughts is because at my school a lot of the interpreting students were really snobby about sign language and so technical about everything. They were so full of themselves, like they were curing cancer because they could talk with their hands and would let you have it if you thought anything less of them and their prized future profession. They were honestly a lot to be around, you guys probably know the types with their noses--sometimes literally--in the air over something they like or can do. I bet there's people like that in every field imaginable. I don't know if all interpreting students get this sort of ego thing going on, but the ones at my school were ridiculous. They sit around like too-cool hipsters complaining about initialized signs "Oh I just hate initialized signs, you can use that if you want, but like I don't." Oy vey. I was talking to this one girl about plans for the weekend. I signed weekend by doing "week" and then slicing my right hand down at the tip of my left fingers. One of the higher up interpreting students stopped her conversation, looked at me and (I kid you not) with total stuck up face signed "what was that?"
I told her "oh we're just chatting about our weekends."
She goes "why do sign weekend like that?"
I'm like "uhh....that's what I learned."
"That is not how you sign weekened. It's like this..."
This back and forth went on for a little bit with her giving me snobby face and me getting upset and telling her to leave me alone. She called me a "b***" after I told her she was being a sign language diva, so that's when I stopped being polite and said "F*** you" It was so weird and uncalled for. We've got the same teachers for Christ's sake, so of course she knew the sign I was using and she knew it was fine to use, she just interrupted my conversation to be a snobby annoying butthole. :roll:
Then way later, I'm getting ready to drop out of Uni because I'm unhappy and don't want to waste anymore time getting into a career I know I don't want and one of the girls in my study group tells me "you shouldn't drop out because everyone's going to get better than you at you signing and you'll feel bad about yourself in comparison to us." ...Just too much in that statement to even comment about. I'm not going to magically forget everything I've learned and I'm not denouncing sign language because I'm quitting school and I don't even care about being a professional signer which is why I'm dropping out in the first place--just ugh to that whole thing. So yeah anyways, tad bit of an ego thing going on with the interpreter students at my ex-Uni. It's whatever to me now, but before that stuff stuck with me and I would have these thoughts like "no one's going to sign with me because I'm not good at ASL, everyone's going to look at me like I'm stupid, maybe I should have toughed it out, bla, bla, bla."
But finally, I am happy to report that I no longer believe any of that. I will keep signing, what am I saying--I have continued to sign since dropping out last year, I'm meeting people here and there to practice and chat with, so I do not feel bad about myself at all because my classmates are in SLS 3020 or whatever. I honestly don't think most people really give a damn. At least that's what I like to believe and if it turns out that a majority do care about formal training, skill and important use, then I'll just hang with the minority that don't.
Anyway, sorry I'm rambling, just had to get that off my chest and then some. Point is: I've had a good thoughtful day.
Me:
"No, hearing..." This encounter made my day.
His name is Steve. He had written down on a piece of paper that he was trying to get back home to Ohio, but was $13 short for his ticket. I believe he was telling the truth, not because he's Deaf, just because I like to believe that about people. My Mom gave him the money he needed and then some. I felt really good for the rest of the day--not because I helped someone, that was a bonus--but simply because I met another signer. Situations like that are why I enjoy being multilingual; bumping into people and having a chat in another language. I wished it was under less stressful circumstances or we would have chatted longer, but my Mom and I had a bus to catch and so did he in the other direction. Anyway, today crushed all those little insecurities I've been having lately about leaving school last year because I won't have professional ASL skills and I won't be making a career out of it. Today blatantly reminded me that I've never given a crap about that and I don't need to start now. I didn't get into languages because I wanted to do anything big with them. I just wanted to know them, so I can talk to people from different walks of life, maybe share a common passion for non-native languages. I'm not looking to help a community with my language knowledge, that always sounded like a dramatic reason people said to sound special when asked "why are you learning sign?" I always answered "I'm a language nerd and I'm looking to make a friend or two that speak a different language." Not as exciting or commendable, but eh whatever. The only thing to miss about school is being able have more conversations at a moment's notice, but not being there doesn't mean I'll never sign with anyone, but my reflection again. It also certainly doesn't mean I'll be inadequate to other signers with years of formal education, perfect technique, and an interpreting certificate. I will maybe seem that way technically to some people who look at skill and productivity (i.e. am I doing anything important with the language) and all that jazz, but it all means nowt to me, so I will no longer feel inadequate for not being trained in ASL and not interpreting. And that, my friends, is all that matters to me. As long as I keep moving these hands and making friends I feel confident and happy.
How strangely fate works for a situation like that to happen just as I'm at a mental crossroads.
P.S. The only reason I was having those kind of negative thoughts is because at my school a lot of the interpreting students were really snobby about sign language and so technical about everything. They were so full of themselves, like they were curing cancer because they could talk with their hands and would let you have it if you thought anything less of them and their prized future profession. They were honestly a lot to be around, you guys probably know the types with their noses--sometimes literally--in the air over something they like or can do. I bet there's people like that in every field imaginable. I don't know if all interpreting students get this sort of ego thing going on, but the ones at my school were ridiculous. They sit around like too-cool hipsters complaining about initialized signs "Oh I just hate initialized signs, you can use that if you want, but like I don't." Oy vey. I was talking to this one girl about plans for the weekend. I signed weekend by doing "week" and then slicing my right hand down at the tip of my left fingers. One of the higher up interpreting students stopped her conversation, looked at me and (I kid you not) with total stuck up face signed "what was that?"
I told her "oh we're just chatting about our weekends."
She goes "why do sign weekend like that?"
I'm like "uhh....that's what I learned."
"That is not how you sign weekened. It's like this..."
This back and forth went on for a little bit with her giving me snobby face and me getting upset and telling her to leave me alone. She called me a "b***" after I told her she was being a sign language diva, so that's when I stopped being polite and said "F*** you" It was so weird and uncalled for. We've got the same teachers for Christ's sake, so of course she knew the sign I was using and she knew it was fine to use, she just interrupted my conversation to be a snobby annoying butthole. :roll:
Then way later, I'm getting ready to drop out of Uni because I'm unhappy and don't want to waste anymore time getting into a career I know I don't want and one of the girls in my study group tells me "you shouldn't drop out because everyone's going to get better than you at you signing and you'll feel bad about yourself in comparison to us." ...Just too much in that statement to even comment about. I'm not going to magically forget everything I've learned and I'm not denouncing sign language because I'm quitting school and I don't even care about being a professional signer which is why I'm dropping out in the first place--just ugh to that whole thing. So yeah anyways, tad bit of an ego thing going on with the interpreter students at my ex-Uni. It's whatever to me now, but before that stuff stuck with me and I would have these thoughts like "no one's going to sign with me because I'm not good at ASL, everyone's going to look at me like I'm stupid, maybe I should have toughed it out, bla, bla, bla."
But finally, I am happy to report that I no longer believe any of that. I will keep signing, what am I saying--I have continued to sign since dropping out last year, I'm meeting people here and there to practice and chat with, so I do not feel bad about myself at all because my classmates are in SLS 3020 or whatever. I honestly don't think most people really give a damn. At least that's what I like to believe and if it turns out that a majority do care about formal training, skill and important use, then I'll just hang with the minority that don't.
Anyway, sorry I'm rambling, just had to get that off my chest and then some. Point is: I've had a good thoughtful day.
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