Should I use subtitles?

mbrek said:
Me too! I hate turning up the tv to understand what is being said (you know, the important stuff???), only to have my ears blasted later with sound effects.
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I hate having to do that too, I live in condo and I hope my TV is not too loud . I turn the sound up when there is no CC but this does not always help if I can't understand what being said. I have to mute the sound when the ads come on or my head will blasted off! Man I hate the ads being so loud.
 
whatdidyousay! said:
I hate having to do that too, I live in condo and I hope my TV is not too loud . I turn the sound up when there is no CC but this does not always help if I can't understand what being said. I have to mute the sound when the ads come on or my head will blasted off! Man I hate the ads being so loud.
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I thought there was legislation about limiting the volume difference between the program and the ads. But I cannot find any info on that.
 
Thanks everybody!
I got really annoyed with my sister and said that she wasn't patient enough with me to repeat what she says twice or a third time and that I'm hoh- she siad that was a pathethic excuse and that I was just feeling sorry for my self. My mother has alot more patient and is more understanding because I have a moderate to severe hearing, her mother has a moderate hearing loss and my little sister wears a CI- she's got a severe hearing loss and is more patient when repeating what she or someone else said. But anyways, I have barely any condfidence and then my older sister (shes 16, Im 14)says this to me. To make matters worse neither my dad or mummy didn't back me up on this.
 
Hannah louise said:
Thanks everybody!
I got really annoyed with my sister and said that she wasn't patient enough with me to repeat what she says twice or a third time and that I'm hoh- she siad that was a pathethic excuse and that I was just feeling sorry for my self. My mother has alot more patient and is more understanding because I have a moderate to severe hearing, her mother has a moderate hearing loss and my little sister wears a CI- she's got a severe hearing loss and is more patient when repeating what she or someone else said. But anyways, I have barely any condfidence and then my older sister (shes 16, Im 14)says this to me. To make matters worse neither my dad or mummy didn't back me up on this.
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Hannah, At that age I was very easily distracted so I missed a lot of what was said. I was very used to missing information so I got used to zoning out (I still do this sometimes and my gf hates it - LOL). My point is, they have no idea how much work listening can be. Be patient with them and practice active listening. This means to actively pay attention to what someone is saying. It's draining to do this all the time so practice it at times when it's important. Don't worry too much about what your sister says, she is young too and 16 is usually a very rebellious time. Good lord, I remember my sister sneaking out of the house at 16. he he he, My dad was sitting outside waiting for her, every time. somehow he knew. I was smarter, I was never caught! But this is another story for another time. :naughty:

Edit: I hope this doesn't sound condescending... I didn't mean for it to be. I wanted it to be supportive. If it sounds bad, tell me and I will delete it.
 
There's nothing wrong with watching with subtitles. If it will allow you to understand what you're watching, then you should be allowed to watch it with subtitles.

Some people just want to make excuses for not having subtitles cuz they're annoyed.

Well, which is more important... you understanding what's going on or them not being annoyed?
 
Hannah louise said:
Thanks everybody!
I got really annoyed with my sister and said that she wasn't patient enough with me to repeat what she says twice or a third time and that I'm hoh- she siad that was a pathethic excuse and that I was just feeling sorry for my self. My mother has alot more patient and is more understanding because I have a moderate to severe hearing, her mother has a moderate hearing loss and my little sister wears a CI- she's got a severe hearing loss and is more patient when repeating what she or someone else said. But anyways, I have barely any condfidence and then my older sister (shes 16, Im 14)says this to me. To make matters worse neither my dad or mummy didn't back me up on this.
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It doesn't excuse it, but often hearing siblings end up having issues.

First, let me say for the record that I don't believe that hearing loss or deafness is a real disability, especially in the modern age where we don't live in caves and need to constantly hunt or run away from wild animals. But I think we can all agree that most people who are hearing don't agree with us. So to anyone reading my post, please don't shoot the messenger. Thanks.

Continuing on ..

When you have time, you may want to pick up a few books from the library and see what some common psychologists' opinions are about this.

I checked out a few books and IIRC here's a few of the common points that they shared:

Siblings sometimes have the equivalent of survivor's guilt from a war. It's common for a survivor from a war to feel guilty because they survived, by chance, and many people they knew didn't.

Similarly, some psychologists believe that some siblings feel guilty for being born completely "able-bodied" while their "disabled" sibling was not simply because of mere chance.

Also some psychologists believe that some siblings feel resentment because they believe that their "disabled" sibling is getting more money and/or time from their parents as a result of the "disability." E.g., "If my brother didn't need those expensive hearing aids I could have gotten that bike I wanted or we could have gone to Disneyworld this summer", etc. Then they often feel guilty for feeling the resentment so typically, on an unconscious level, they will look for character flaws in their sibling to relieve their feelings of guilt and resentment.

Based on my experience and from what I have observed in other families -- I believe that some parents also look for character flaws to relieve similar feelings of guilt and resentment.


I don't know if you will find reading a few of those books helpful -- but I'm glad I did. Even though I was not able to change the situation in my family it helped me to know that I was dealing with a common problem that many people had due to no fault of their own.
 
Anyone who criticizes my closed captions or tries to turn them off gets bitch slapped hardcore. Any attempt to put down or disallow captions/subtitles to a hoh/deaf person is a decidedly audist mentality.

:nono:
 
TheWriteAlex
Anyone who criticizes my closed captions or tries to turn them off gets bitch slapped hardcore. Any attempt to put down or disallow captions/subtitles to a hoh/deaf person is a decidedly audist mentality.
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It's not even "audist mentality",
it is simply boorish rudeness and lack of compassion
and simple lack of consideration to other disabilities needs.
Such could be be ANY form of special needs that is so rudely dismissed
as Hannah Louise needs are,
and by doing this the person who does that is simply an insensitive jerk, is all.

Hannah louise
But anyways, I have barely any condfidence and then my older sister (shes 16, Im 14)says this to me. To make matters worse neither my dad or mummy didn't back me up on this.
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Now sweetheart,
this is very serious that you don't have your parents support and I am very sorry and even outraged about that.
You should have your parents back on this!!!
no ifs or buts!!

No wonder you have low self esteem - why should you if everybody is telling you, indirectly, you don't matter!

Hannah louise, YOU DO MATTER, and your hearing loss comes first!!!


Your parents and your siblings are wrong!

Why, do you think, the world is slowly more and more accommodating to the disabled, not the other way around?
because we DO matter!

why there are laws, rules and regulations in workplaces for disabled that protect their rights? why the employer is required to build a ramp for
a wheelchair or supply a ASL translator?
because a law or other regulations says we do matter.

That means, if YOU have any degree of disability, YOU need to be accommodated, not the able bodied.

Why? because an average bumpkins like - and here I apologize for comparison, it's just to get the point across - like your parents or your sisters- doesn't understand the intricacies involved with certain disabilities, that's why.
That's why smart and wise people who do understand - doctors, lawyers, etc - composed an implemented laws etc to protect someone like you from them bumpkins.

Now you see why you have to believe in yourself and your rights as HoH person?

You DO have rights. You DO know better.
You just need to stand up for yourself from now on.

The change in your family structure will not come overnight, but if you persist, it will come.

For you to succeed, I would recommend to get in touch with some good
psychologist or psychiatrist who would help you to regain your self- esteem.
At the same time, I would join some Deaf and HoH group in your area, who will teach you all they know what it is like to be 'defensive' hearing impaired person, and how to teach your famly that you are a force to be reckoned with! :giggle:


You can do it!

:wave:

Fuzzy
 
Hannah louise, hello! I was like you, moderate to severe hearing loss and I wore HAs in both ears full time (my hearing declined in the last 8 months to severe to profound and the damaged nerve has become very sensitive, so amplified sounds are untolerable). When I was like you, I wasn't being lazy, but I missed a lot too and I required captions/subtitles even then to be able to enjoy the shows like other viewers. I was going to write a lot about HAs to show their limitations, but I found a website that covers a lot for me. I recommend going to Why Hearing Aids Alone Can't Always Provide Speech Clarity. It has a lot of interesting and important information on the limitations of HAs; show it to your family. (The part about SNR is also true with TV/movies, so with those shows amping up the background music and sound effects, its easy to see how people with hearing loss can easily get lost.)

You have the right to want full enjoyment of whatever activity you're engaging in. The hours of hard work, effort, and stress will never be enough whereas, if they can get over their annoyance so that you can enjoy the program too, you can have success with captions/subtitles (they may even find that they like to use it too). *(That is why I encourage people to learn ASL (or their country's sign language) as a hard of hearing person can struggle the rest of their life and never achieve a relaxed/natural flow of hearing communication, but if they (the hard of hearing person and their family and friends) use that time and effort to learn sign (assuming no visual limitations or language-learning disability), one day they will be able to achieve that relaxed/natural flow of communication.)*

I believe that you are missing a lot of the story and that you are not a lazy listener. I also believe that many hard of hearing individuals develop something, which you may be aware of too: learned helplessness. With people not realizing how bad our hearing is, we try to explain and demonstrate and request that they speak louder and clearer. But they forget or don't believe us, so we try to accommodate their preception by working harder to understand them or using other senses to try and understand what auditory things we are missing, but we still miss a lot. What happens then is we need people to repeat and repeat and repeat and so on. At first people are accommodating, but then we can see the sighs, the rolling eyes, the clenched teeth, and other signs of frustration. So what do we do? We stop asking as much and hope that we will get some clarification down the line in the conversation, so that we don't frustrate them. Even people who may be fine with accomodating us or repeating, we've learned that we can't do anything to communicate, since in the past people have forgotten, not believed, or got frustrated, how will the new person be different? So we learn to accept that we won't get it all. Then what happens? As we are nodding our heads and smiling and paying rapt attention and not asking them to repeat, we are showing all the signs that we hear, when really we don't. So they believe our hearing is better than it really is. It doesn't take long for learned helplessness to develop (and for people who get hearing loss when they are young, that is a lot of time) and the longer it is there, the more it becomes ingrained, and the harder it is to stop or reverse that thinking.
 
Deaf Raptor, are you saying that many HH people learn to not be assertive? Would that be another way of saying learned helplessness?
 
Jazzberry said:
Deaf Raptor, are you saying that many HH people learn to not be assertive? Would that be another way of saying learned helplessness?
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Jazzberry, yes exactly.

I'm not saying there aren't assertive hh people or there aren't things they are assertive about, but many (at least a lot more than there should be) are not assertive when it comes to being fully included in a conversation.
 
Hannah louise said:
Thanks everybody!
I got really annoyed with my sister and said that she wasn't patient enough with me to repeat what she says twice or a third time and that I'm hoh- she siad that was a pathethic excuse and that I was just feeling sorry for my self. My mother has alot more patient and is more understanding because I have a moderate to severe hearing, her mother has a moderate hearing loss and my little sister wears a CI- she's got a severe hearing loss and is more patient when repeating what she or someone else said. But anyways, I have barely any condfidence and then my older sister (shes 16, Im 14)says this to me. To make matters worse neither my dad or mummy didn't back me up on this.
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I hate to say this but your sister is an ass! You could go rent some foreign movies and everyone will need to use the subtitles! And maybe people start to understand what it like hear someone and not being able to understand it at the same time! My older sister is an ass about my hearing and speech defect at times.
 
DeafRaptor said:
Jazzberry, yes exactly.

I'm not saying there aren't assertive hh people or there aren't things they are assertive about, but many (at least a lot more than there should be) are not assertive when it comes to being fully included in a conversation.
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I think when it come to families it not always easy to be assertive. Some parents do favorite one kid over another , this is wrong but it happen a lot. The op is the younger sister and it sound like sister rivalry is happening between the two sisters with the older one thinking she should get her way!
 
DeafRaptor said:
Jazzberry, yes exactly.

I'm not saying there aren't assertive hh people or there aren't things they are assertive about, but many (at least a lot more than there should be) are not assertive when it comes to being fully included in a conversation.
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Deaf Raptor, I agree that being strong and assertive is important for D/d/hh people.

For some of us that may be something that we have to learn as adults as not all of us come from supportive families. FWIW, if a d/hh child grows up in a non-supportive family that has basically worked to shut them down instead of help them ends up not growing up with good assertion skills, I don't think that is something they should feel badly about. I mention this because I think it is probably something that occurs often. But hopefully they will be able to learn these skills as an adult when they have more independence.
 
Hannah louise said:
Hello, I a hoh person(moderate-to-severe). I wear hearing aids in both ears, full time. I want to put subtitles up when I'm watching telly, but my older sister and mum say I'm just a lazy listener and if I actually try to listen, I will. I miss half the story without the subtitles. Some people say that when they talk to me they would never in a million years think I was hard of hearing so, my question is am I a lazy listener and should I have subtitles on? My teacher (she's specializes in deaf studies) say that I should use them but it really annoys my mum and sister.
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As someone who's Hoh/Deaf myself who's struggled for decades to get my family to understand what it's like to be hoh/Deaf here are some suggestions:

You need to remind them that you are not "lazy", you have a medical condition which means you are physically UNABLE to hear and understand a number of things. TVs and Hearing Aids are often very tricky, because hearing aids pick up everything, which means any sounds in the room, any "fuzzy" in the audio, etc all makes it so much harder to make out the dialogue.
"Trying Harder" isn't the issue, and it's rude for them to imply that you're hearing loss is something that you have any control over. With my family who all wear glasses, I explained that for me, not having captions on the screen is similar to if I took their glasses away and then told them to "look harder" and then watch the TV. Not only is it frustrating, it's exhausting and can actaully give you a headache!

Because it's often only when people experience it for themselves, that they understand - I went to walmart and got a multipack of those bright orange ear plugs ... the kind that are 30db or more in noise reduction. One night, when the TV was already on at the volume that was their "normal" (the one they expect me to hear at) I told my family we were all going to watch TV the way it is for ME. I took the remote (so no one would turn up the volume) , had them all put in their ear plugs and then explained that because of the way hearing aids work .. they amplify background noise as well.... so I muted the TV for a second, went and turned on the radio to "static" and made it loud enough that they all said they could hear it. Then I unmuted the TV and sat down to watch TV with my family.
About 15mins into the show (one that I made sure wasn't something that was a repeat) I asked if we could turn the captions on ...
They've stayed on ever since.



If you'd like to help your family understand a bit more of what it's like ... there are a number of hearing loss simulators online ... they play what it's like to have different amounts of hearing loss. One thing that made a big difference for my family was when they heard the simulators and then commented "but the hearing aids fix it, like glasses". I had to explain and then show them that unlike glasses that correct vision, hearing aids amplify the sounds you are able to hear. So I played them the example of hearing loss twice more, the first time at "normal volume" and then played it again turning up the volume (just making the "mush" louder) and said "this is how hearing aids "fix" hearing loss" - it's NOTHING like glasses.
Again, once they actually understood with their own ears, they were much better... they still forget, still say stupid things sometimes, still expect me to hear in situations that are totally unrealistic, but at least when I remind them know, they remember the examples THEY heard and are much more understanding about it.

Heck, it only took 30 years!


hopefully some of these ideas will help.
Also, if you have a good, understanding Audie, it might be very helpful for your family to have a meeting with them and have the audiologist explain that it's not about "trying harder" or "being lazy" or "not wanting to hear bad enough" or "pretending you aren't able to hear/understand something" etc.
 
Some hearing people grow to love the captioning and never turn it off. Like everyone's stated before, the sound effects have gotten so obnoxious even hearing people are missing out on some of the dialog.

I think a big problem is how difficult it is to turn captioning on now with HD tvs, a bigger inconvenience for hearing people who'll only temporarily activate the captioning. Att, Comcast, and WOW cable all required me to turn the captioning on by fooling around with switching the set-top box on and off and a whole host of other easily forgettable steps. I don't even ask my friends to turn their captioning on anymore because it takes 30 minutes to research how to turn the darn captioning on/off. How hard can it be to put a one-click button on the cable remote??? Wasn't there recently a bill being proposed on this?
 
Barbaro said:
Your mum and sister are wrong. It is not fair to you. Turn on the subtitle, so you can enjoy it. You don't need to appease them.

Suggestion: Turn down the volume or press mute button on the remote control. Force your mum and sister to try to listen to television for a while to see if they like that.

I've personally seen deaf adults being treated poorly by their parents, and siblings. It is so bad. Never understand why their parents get so defensive when deaf adults' hearing friends are able to communicate with them via sign language in front of their hearing parents. They hiss.

Deaf adult I know was packing up his things outside. His hearing brother came by unexpectedly, and yelled his name repetitively so loud, and it scared his neighbors to step outside to see what's going on. His brother doesn't need to yell so awfully that Deaf adult can't hear. Duh.
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Damn, you have reminded me of my longtime friend that lives down the road from my home who is d/Deaf (he's the only deaf in the whole hearing family) he has a niece and he likes to teach her ASL and his older brother hissed at him, took her away from him and yelled at him that he should not do that. Huh, wow I say he must be a Deaf hater. His parents don't really sign at all when I visit at his home while growing up. My friend told me his parents got real upset when doctor told them that the CI did not qualify him. UGGhh..
 
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