Should Deaf communicate oral with hearing family and friends?

[Bottesini]

I think all hearing should have their auditory nerve cut at birth, then everybody will learn ASL and we will get first class media, all technology originally designed for deaf, and this issue would not exist!

My sister and mother fill me in on what going on sometimes, but a lot of times, they say to me, "I tell you later," but they almost never tell me later. I wish I lived in a deaf world, but I will never can afford to move, and not want to offend my family, even though they offend me, but they don't mean to offend me.

Lucky I guess you were not born with something like phocomelia, then life would be really inconvenient for everyone if they followed your scenario.

 

[CJB]

I don't support oralism and prefer Deaf schools over mainstreaming if a Deaf school is nearby.

Same.

 

[CJB]

ohhh yeah. being told nevermind is the one thing that makes me blood boiling mad. that and whatever. ill tell someone i didnt understand them and they say whatever..... omg i will blow a gasket!

Couldn't agree more. "Nevermind" and "I'll tell you later" are infuriating.

 

[CJB]

I make an effort to follow conversation and expect family to make an effort to speak clearly. Luckily I have one other HOH family member (he is in denial but asks things to repeated all the time too). However it can be really isolating when I don't know what's going on visually and can't follow the conversation. If there isn't someone willing to keep me in the loop or even just repeat what they say, then I'm done. I go back to my computer and communicate online where it's easier.

 

[SerendipityG3A]

Lucky I guess you were not born with something like phocomelia, then life would be really inconvenient for everyone if they followed your scenario.

I was just saying it for fun, though that would be a great world for me .. but just to play along, maybe we would improve prosthetic limb technology so much that people with phocomelia would elect limb alteration and get high-tech prosthetic arms so advanced, they could sign with them same as average person with real arms and hands (and fluent ASL).

 

[Bottesini]

I was just saying it for fun, though that would be a great world for me .. but just to play along, maybe we would improve prosthetic limb technology so much that people with phocomelia would elect limb alteration and get high-tech prosthetic arms so advanced, they could sign with them same as average person with real arms and hands (and fluent ASL).

:rofl2:

 

[SerendipityG3A]

I make an effort to follow conversation and expect family to make an effort to speak clearly. Luckily I have one other HOH family member (he is in denial but asks things to repeated all the time too). However it can be really isolating when I don't know what's going on visually and can't follow the conversation. If there isn't someone willing to keep me in the loop or even just repeat what they say, then I'm done. I go back to my computer and communicate online where it's easier.

I have a family member like that too. He does have HA, but I don't think helping him. I cannot understand anything he ever says. I try to tell him learn sign, but he don't hear me. My speech skills are poor though.

 

[CJB]

I have a family member like that too. He does have HA, but I don't think helping him. I cannot understand anything he ever says. I try to tell him learn sign, but he don't hear me. My speech skills are poor though.

My family member doesn't have HA's and is in total denial about his HOH status.

 

[sallylou]

I don't hang out with family much. I attend the obligatory holiday gatherings. It's not that I dislike my family. I don't have much in common with them. I'm also busy rearing my own family. They don't really talk to me and haven't really acknowledged my hearing loss. Kind of weird, actually. I usually read or just hang out.

I figure that my real friends will be patient with me. I tend to put out about the same amount of effort that someone puts out for me. If the person is not patient and helpful, then I don't make an effort to be their friend. Lots of people will only use you when it's convenient for them, and I'm not interested in that kind of relationship.

 

[shel90]

I don't hang out with family much. I attend the obligatory holiday gatherings. It's not that I dislike my family. I don't have much in common with them. I'm also busy rearing my own family. They don't really talk to me and haven't really acknowledged my hearing loss. Kind of weird, actually. I usually read or just hang out.

I figure that my real friends will be patient with me. I tend to put out about the same amount of effort that someone puts out for me. If the person is not patient and helpful, then I don't make an effort to be their friend. Lots of people will only use you when it's convenient for them, and I'm not interested in that kind of relationship.

You sound like someone I would love to hang out with!

 

[sallylou]

Dang it, you're far away from me. Want to be my virtual friend?

 

[somedeafdudefromPNW]

Dang it, you're far away from me. Want to be my virtual friend?

Wait, there's a virtual friendship?

Where's the waiting list?

 

[sallylou]

I think that you just have to send a friend request to the person. I haven't quite figured out how to work that part of the forum. Send me a friend request and I'll be your virtual friend.

 

[somedeafdudefromPNW]

Go to a person's profile, and under their "friend list" there should be a text saying "befriend (username)"

 

[herewego]

It would be nice if my family were more considerate of my hearing loss and instead of taking advantage of it to leave me out of conversations on purpose, they should be aware that I do have feelings even if I don't hear. Even a simple conversation over a meal is difficult sometimes.

This amazes me I know a man who's a deaf blind and honestly his family from what I can tell know's no sign. He can speak but, I talked to him after only practicing sign for maybe 3 months and we did fine. Plus it's nice from a hearing person's perspective if a deaf person speaks as well. Although I have to laugh today. Pastor of my church was signing to me asking if I would User next week for church and she said it was "men's day" next week. However I kind of slipped up and first and thought she meant father's day like she was reminding me of farther's day which I wouldn't even know anyway so it was good (ha ha). Well anyway she kind of repeated it a few times and I was like in my mind oh ok men's day and we are all going out to eat after nice! Gotta love the food, anyway off topic but if she spoke could have just spoke and signed and i would have got it first time. However in the same since I understand that speaking is either just really unnecessary or rude in deaf culture even with hard of hearing people as well. Than again I could be wrong.

 

[evil_queen_lisa]

I think family should make an effort to learn sign, but i would not expect them to be fluent. I mean, if you had a relative who was blind come over you wouldn't just leave them sitting in a chair in the hallway, you would make sure to clean up junk off the floor so that they could get around safely and be with everyone else.
I think no matter what HOH/D/deaf people are going to be excluded in a room full of hearing people, but what counts is that someone makes the effort. Perhaps not ASL as the grammar is hard, but compromise, SEE or PSE, using English grammar, mouthing and ASL signs?
Just my 2 cents
*EQL*

 

[CJB]

I think family should make an effort to learn sign, but i would not expect them to be fluent. I mean, if you had a relative who was blind come over you wouldn't just leave them sitting in a chair in the hallway, you would make sure to clean up junk off the floor so that they could get around safely and be with everyone else.

A lot of people would, and do. Again and again and again.

 

[evil_queen_lisa]

But CI kids, like Kat did , often move to oral classrooms.

At Sick Kids in Toronto, it is a requirement for education to be oral-focused for a child to qualify for CI. "The child must have access to a school and therapy program with a strong auditory emphasis" from: Criteria for implantation

*EQL*

 

[Buffalo]

I don't hang out with family much. I attend the obligatory holiday gatherings. It's not that I dislike my family. I don't have much in common with them. I'm also busy rearing my own family. They don't really talk to me and haven't really acknowledged my hearing loss. Kind of weird, actually. I usually read or just hang out.

I figure that my real friends will be patient with me. I tend to put out about the same amount of effort that someone puts out for me. If the person is not patient and helpful, then I don't make an effort to be their friend. Lots of people will only use you when it's convenient for them, and I'm not interested in that kind of relationship.

Ditto!

 

[Frisky Feline]

*bump*