I was raised Pentecostal Holiness and my family is anti-gay...
However, I've tried prayer and other options in hopes of ridding myself of gay affections and emotions but it doesn't seem to help. I've often wondered if it's because I didn't trust God enough, had lack of confidence in prayer, or didn't devote myself to God enough...
Due to this background... I'm at a serious place of confusion in my life.
However, with girls... romantically and friendship-wise I'm attracted... but guys it's all the above and more. To be honest, I'm very ashamed of these feelings and feel that God hates me even more because of this since that's how I was raised... Including the fact that I am not changing to being straight because according to everyone else... only God can change you but if you don't try to help yourself it won't change.
What should I do at this point?
I'm 21-years-old and I want to have a boyfriend and decent relationship even if I am in the closet... because Lord forbid if I come out, I lose my family.
However, I've tried prayer and other options in hopes of ridding myself of gay affections and emotions but it doesn't seem to help. I've often wondered if it's because I didn't trust God enough, had lack of confidence in prayer, or didn't devote myself to God enough...
Due to this background... I'm at a serious place of confusion in my life.
However, with girls... romantically and friendship-wise I'm attracted... but guys it's all the above and more. To be honest, I'm very ashamed of these feelings and feel that God hates me even more because of this since that's how I was raised... Including the fact that I am not changing to being straight because according to everyone else... only God can change you but if you don't try to help yourself it won't change.
What should I do at this point?
I'm 21-years-old and I want to have a boyfriend and decent relationship even if I am in the closet... because Lord forbid if I come out, I lose my family.