Seven Warning Signs of a Troubled Relationship

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Kalista

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The seven warning signs that a relationship is in trouble are:
1. Fighting has become the rule rather than the exception to the rule.
2. You find yourself looking outside the relationship for comfort, care, and understanding.
3. You can't remember what attracted you to your partner in the first place.
4. There is little or no intimacy in your relationship -- sleeping in different rooms or different beds, lack of interest, anger, and hostility so that intimacy is out of the question.
5. Spending very little time together, friends seem to be more important than your partner.
6. Reactions to situations are disproportionate to the content of the disagreement (i.e., feeling your partner doesn't love you because she/he didn't like the meal you cooked).
7. Feeling helpless and hopeless to change anything. Feeling done with the relationship, but unclear as to where to go and what to do. Feelings of anger, resentment, pain, and desperation are predominant.
If any or all of these describe you in your relationship, your relationship is in trouble and it won't be long before something more drastic happens, such as an affair, arguments get worse and inflate with intensity, increased jealousy, silence for longer periods of time, and sometimes even physical and/or verbal abuse.
Before your relationship reaches that critical crisis point, look at the warning signs and do something before it's too late:

1. Seek psychotherapy
2. Read books
3. Talk to a spiritual/religious advisor

Without help, the relationship will never get better with time; once a certain level of resentment, anger, and hostility hits, it will simply get worse and worse. Avoiding a total crisis and saving the relationship is done by knowing when you're in trouble and taking immediate action.
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There is a good book called, 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus'. I don't know if this book do sell in USA or Canada.
 
Yeah, Kelpies - that book are sold in both countries (Canada and United States). :)
 
Kelpies said:
There is a good book called, 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus'. I don't know if this book do sell in USA or Canada.
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That book was actually written by a man from a fake college, it isn't credited.
 
SFShawn13 said:
That book was actually written by a man from a fake college, it isn't credited.
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"Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" is written by John Gray, an American. SFShawn, Could you please tell me where a man wrote it from a fake college? As far as I know John Gray has Ph.D. degree and didn't write this book under a different name.


John Gray: Biography of John Gray
 
SFShawn13 said:
Also, the suggestion of psychotherapy is super weird.
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well, it would depend on which type of therapy they are undergoing. Just cognitive (the norm) isn't enough to solve most problems, cognitive-behavioral therapy for the husband and wife has been shown to be quite effective in many cases. It is, in fact, the type of therapy most pastors are taught to use (I read the catalog for TTU and BJU, two largely known Christian schools, courses for the above found their ways on both of them in the years I was looking at colleges). CBT is not just trying to talk one's differences away. It is learning and understanding them, then finding a way to work with and around the differences to solve the problems inherent, thus causing the couple to bond together again through conquering the issue they are having. Say there is an issue with one or the other's cooking skill, and that person loves cooking. Maybe the one who knows how to cook can help the other learn, whilst the other needs to choose to listen to the advice of his/her (hir?) spouse. Thus, one learns more and they both have the quality together time inherent in sharing the responsibilities of cooking a meal.

Yes, that is extraordinarily simplified as an example, but I am tiring out and need sleep.
 
sculleywr said:
well, it would depend on which type of therapy they are undergoing. Just cognitive (the norm) isn't enough to solve most problems, cognitive-behavioral therapy for the husband and wife has been shown to be quite effective in many cases. It is, in fact, the type of therapy most pastors are taught to use (I read the catalog for TTU and BJU, two largely known Christian schools, courses for the above found their ways on both of them in the years I was looking at colleges). CBT is not just trying to talk one's differences away. It is learning and understanding them, then finding a way to work with and around the differences to solve the problems inherent, thus causing the couple to bond together again through conquering the issue they are having. Say there is an issue with one or the other's cooking skill, and that person loves cooking. Maybe the one who knows how to cook can help the other learn, whilst the other needs to choose to listen to the advice of his/her (hir?) spouse. Thus, one learns more and they both have the quality together time inherent in sharing the responsibilities of cooking a meal.

Yes, that is extraordinarily simplified as an example, but I am tiring out and need sleep.
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Marraige and family counseling is different from psychotherapy. CBT is not psychoanalytic.
 
Kalista said:
The seven warning signs that a relationship is in trouble are:
1. Fighting has become the rule rather than the exception to the rule.
2. You find yourself looking outside the relationship for comfort, care, and understanding.
3. You can't remember what attracted you to your partner in the first place.
4. There is little or no intimacy in your relationship -- sleeping in different rooms or different beds, lack of interest, anger, and hostility so that intimacy is out of the question.
5. Spending very little time together, friends seem to be more important than your partner.
6. Reactions to situations are disproportionate to the content of the disagreement (i.e., feeling your partner doesn't love you because she/he didn't like the meal you cooked).
7. Feeling helpless and hopeless to change anything. Feeling done with the relationship, but unclear as to where to go and what to do. Feelings of anger, resentment, pain, and desperation are predominant.

If any or all of these describe you in your relationship, your relationship is in trouble and it won't be long before something more drastic happens, such as an affair, arguments get worse and inflate with intensity, increased jealousy, silence for longer periods of time, and sometimes even physical and/or verbal abuse.

Before your relationship reaches that critical crisis point, look at the warning signs and do something before it's too late:

1. Seek psychotherapy
2. Read books
3. Talk to a spiritual/religious advisor

.
Click to expand...

If any one of those seven happened I would leave.

If all seven of them happened I would have to wonder what could possibly be worth saving?
 
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