Rock & a Hard Place

A said:
I'm sorry say but this kid is going to be just like his mother. Some usually do. He will feel alot of hurt but he will hide it by the same attitude as his mother. Alot of preppy type people were are raised the same way where parents put alot of pressure on them, they hate it, they resent their parents, but yet at the same time they think they are better than everyone.
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Possibly. You never know. It really depends on if they have met people whose positive influences have empowered them to fight for themselve or not,
 
probably so, I also have seen those who disagree with their parents too.
 
I hear ya!

We had a similar experience, but only once. We went to a park and were chatting, I said that my daughter was getting an implant, blah blah, and then they saw us sign, and said "So, you know sign?" We said that we learned for Miss Kat and they literally picked up their kid and left. I was dumbfounded! Luckily it was the only time it has happen and we have been to AG Bell events and several oral schools, and no one else has even mentioned it, and lots of the people have signed right to Miss Kat.

I think that kind of insanity is few and far between.
 
Luckily it was the only time it has happen and we have been to AG Bell events and several oral schools, and no one else has even mentioned it, and lots of the people have signed right to Miss Kat.

I think that kind of insanity is few and far between.
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I do have to say this for some of the AG Bellers. Some of them are OK with ASL as an option, and with their kids learning ASL as a second language. They just want oral skills as a first language.
Nothing wrong with that. AG Bell is still very audist, and doesn't understand that not everyone has the access to good oral resources, or even good health care resources.
 
deafdyke said:
I do have to say this for some of the AG Bellers. Some of them are OK with ASL as an option, and with their kids learning ASL as a second language. They just want oral skills as a first language.
Nothing wrong with that. AG Bell is still very audist, and doesn't understand that not everyone has the access to good oral resources, or even good health care resources.
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I can't understand this logic, because most deaf babies are visual, and most have already developed a way to communicate before they start hearing. Pointing and gesturing. In a way, it is dumbing them down when a parents stick with pointing and gesturing when they could take advantage of it and expand their vocabulary.
 
Same old shit. Why do audies and doctors have to keep brainwashing parents with this misinformation? And why do parents have to keep living in denial that their child is deaf, trying to make them normal?

Like Julie said, this kid is just going to grow up feeling isolated and different, no matter how well he talks and how much he can hear with implants, and when he finally discovers his own kind, shit is going to hit the fan.
 
Wow - I wonder if her "the world must adjust itself for my child" thinking extends to her "dictating the rules" to everyone: with an accent, who speaks a different language, is a different colour of skin, has different religion, etc?

I would have said something like "are you this rude to all strangers you meet who happen to speak to their child in another language such as Spanish/French/German? - or are you only rude and discriminatory to those who use a language that your child would naturally be able to learn and may actually help them ?"



Hopefully that child will manage to survive her mother's idiocy and will be able to make their own choices about if they want to learn ASL at some point, and be friends with people other than those who speak English as their primary language.
 
A said:
I can't understand this logic, because most deaf babies are visual, and most have already developed a way to communicate before they start hearing. Pointing and gesturing. In a way, it is dumbing them down when a parents stick with pointing and gesturing when they could take advantage of it and expand their vocabulary.
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Especially those that are deaf from birth or shortly thereafter. They begin developing adapted ways of communication both receptively and expressively from the moment of birth. Usually, by the time that they are diagnosed, have received some sort of technological devise, and have begun any formal training or intervention, they have developed their visual communication skills to the point that they are relying on them for comprehension.
 
TheWriteAlex said:
Same old shit. Why do audies and doctors have to keep brainwashing parents with this misinformation? And why do parents have to keep living in denial that their child is deaf, trying to make them normal?

Like Julie said, this kid is just going to grow up feeling isolated and different, no matter how well he talks and how much he can hear with implants, and when he finally discovers his own kind, shit is going to hit the fan.
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Yet, anytime I point out that this attitude still exists and continues to impact deaf children educationally, socially, and psychologically, I get railroaded by a few hearing parents that believe I am picking on them and claiming that times are different now.:pissed: Maybe because I'm hearing, they think I should see things their way, and they can't dismiss what I say as easily as they can the deaf that are saying the same thing.:dunno2:
 
Anji - loved your post. Totally agree with you. The first thought that popped into my head was for her to ask that woman "By that logic, you should tell that Mexican woman over there to stop speaking Spanish to her son."

It astounds me... because a parent is well within her rights to speak to her child in the way she wants, but from the big picture, she actually asked another mother to basically stop talking to her own child!

Dumbass.
 
Banjo said:
Wow, the nerve of some people. She really should had known better.
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Well said!

IMHO, some people can do better without their attitudes towards others.

This just boils down to attitudes and superiority.
 
It is frustrating, really. What's the point of teaching tolerance when it only applies to others? I see this a lot lately even outside of deaf related issues. Everyone's kid is a super special snowflake and everything needs to be just so and omg, those aren't organic baby wipes, are they?!

I have two special needs kids and, honestly, I only make minimal accommodations for them in public most of the time. I don't make others follow our bizarre routine of coping with a myriad of sensory issues. I've already chosen to adapt the way I sign with my daughter by always voicing in public, even though it makes it more difficult for me, after being accused of 'trash talking' another child in sign... with my 3 year old. I shouldn't feel the need to do that, but if it reduces conflict and hostility around my kid, what choice do I have?
 
WeeBeastie said:
It is frustrating, really. What's the point of teaching tolerance when it only applies to others? I see this a lot lately even outside of deaf related issues. Everyone's kid is a super special snowflake and everything needs to be just so and omg, those aren't organic baby wipes, are they?!

I have two special needs kids and, honestly, I only make minimal accommodations for them in public most of the time. I don't make others follow our bizarre routine of coping with a myriad of sensory issues. I've already chosen to adapt the way I sign with my daughter by always voicing in public, even though it makes it more difficult for me, after being accused of 'trash talking' another child in sign... with my 3 year old. I shouldn't feel the need to do that, but if it reduces conflict and hostility around my kid, what choice do I have?
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Oh, and we didn't voice in public (but we don't have any other children). If it is a private conversation, it was no one else's buisness what we were talking about. We would only voice if we wanted other people to know what we were saying. If we were just talking as a family, it was voice off.
 
WeeBeastie said:
It is frustrating, really. What's the point of teaching tolerance when it only applies to others? I see this a lot lately even outside of deaf related issues. Everyone's kid is a super special snowflake and everything needs to be just so and omg, those aren't organic baby wipes, are they?!

I have two special needs kids and, honestly, I only make minimal accommodations for them in public most of the time. I don't make others follow our bizarre routine of coping with a myriad of sensory issues. I've already chosen to adapt the way I sign with my daughter by always voicing in public, even though it makes it more difficult for me, after being accused of 'trash talking' another child in sign... with my 3 year old. I shouldn't feel the need to do that, but if it reduces conflict and hostility around my kid, what choice do I have?
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Frankly, WeeBeastie, from a psychological and developmental perspective, we are really doing our kids a disservice by telling them, from the time they are born, how unique and special they are. Everyone's child is special to them, but the message is going out that all of society should view that child as special just as the parent does. That is a message that creates all kinds of adjustment problems.

You have the correct attitude. No more accommodation than what is necessary should be made. The most natural and less invasive approaches that teach natural adaptation skills are what should be used. Time and again, research has shown that this is the path to the most well adapted, optimally functional adult. Stick with what you are doing. And those that criticise will soon stop having the time to point fingers because they will be so busy dealing with the emotional and psychological fall out they are creating.
 
jillio said:
Frankly, WeeBeastie, from a psychological and developmental perspective, we are really doing our kids a disservice by telling them, from the time they are born, how unique and special they are. Everyone's child is special to them, but the message is going out that all of society should view that child as special just as the parent does. That is a message that creates all kinds of adjustment problems.

You have the correct attitude. No more accommodation than what is necessary should be made. The most natural and less invasive approaches that teach natural adaptation skills are what should be used. Time and again, research has shown that this is the path to the most well adapted, optimally functional adult. Stick with what you are doing. And those that criticise will soon stop having the time to point fingers because they will be so busy dealing with the emotional and psychological fall out they are creating.
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What does this part mean?
 
Bottesini said:
And you wonder why people become impatient with your behavior.

I would like to know what you mean also.
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I mean exactly what I said. Why is that so difficult to understand? I was referring to the statement made by WeeBeastie in the post I was replying to. Evidently, people are looking for an excuse to become offended.
 
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