Revealing Your Identity at Workplace

DelicPumpkPie

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Curious about your all opinion about revealing your identity (being gay, bi, lesbian) at your work---

I REFUSE to tell who I am to protect my personal and business boundaries. My personal life stays out of the door of the work's building. I learned my lesson, my mistake at other job I quit when they found out, had to!

But this one--- I REFUSE to tell even they mock, tease me if I have a boyfriend or (if i am sick) they mock if I am pregnant. I ingore them and laughed. In my mind-- :crazy: YEA RIGHT! *rme* Feel like to :madfawk: but keep cool and think of $$$ :)

What about you all? Have this happened to you? Any opinion towards to this?
 
I have experienced an atitude similiar to this before when I was doing some volunteer work some years ago. Some people didn't like it that I was disabled. They had a very archaic atitude, and actually believed that I belonged in a nursing home! :eek:

Unfortunately, my "difference" is something you CAN see, so I didn't have much choice but to confront this. In case you're wondering, I chose to just ignore certain atitudes. I didn't much care what people thought. I was there of my own choosing doing something I enjoyed . People can either like it or hate it. I didn't care.

Now, if I knew I was dealing with morons, would I disclose something personal about myself such as what was asked above? Probably not. Why make it worse for yourself? Of course, there's always the atitude of "Who cares?" And, that's nice. But, is it really anyone's business to begin with????
 
Ask, do tell.

I operate on a need tell basis. if someone asks me if I have found a special man yet, I just say, "No, I haven't met anyone special yet". Which works, because that "someone special" could be a man or a woman. Who knows?

I am starting a high school job soon, so I will stay in the closet for a while to make sure it is ok.

:angel:
 
cady75 said:
I operate on a need tell basis. if someone asks me if I have found a special man yet, I just say, "No, I haven't met anyone special yet". Which works, because that "someone special" could be a man or a woman. Who knows?

I am starting a high school job soon, so I will stay in the closet for a while to make sure it is ok.

:angel:

Yea, good idea! Thats a plan! Oh yea, with high school job, need to keep it to yourself since not good idea to let kids know who you are since they can start firing the :gossip: around and who knows get fired.

Good luck! :)
 
Well I'm in college right now so haven't had to deal with that yet. However when I came out last fall nobody seemed surprised!
 
i dont usually say anything abt my life but im pretty much transparent on this aspect, if they know they know if they don't they dont and if they wanna know i say figure it out urself. i mean this is MY life and if they are going to do that shit to us well u know what i can say :fu: at anytime to anyone who tries any discrimation...... however....

i don't have to worry abt it cuz i run my own time my own space and my own pace and i m not discrimiciinig myself :D
 
Yes and no. There are so many foreigners working in a hospital where I work. 95% of them are 'bible-thumping people' so I chose not to tell them. Why bother? So far, they love me for who I am. They see me as a Deaf person / ASL instructor / mother of 2 girls. Most of them asked me if I'm married or have a husband and I always told them - "Nah, who needs men?!" Then they stop asking me further questions. :whistle:
 
I personally do not believe any work place has the right to know whether or not a person might be gay, bi, lesbian, etc...That is something personal about themselves, and beside anyone does have the right to keep things to themselves if they want to....;)
 
Good topic.

I got the deaf poem that I loved so much and sent to everyone, I mean, everyone at work. Got beautiful responses from them and only one person didn't respond. That's okay. There are people out there are like that.

My male boss pulled me in to talk to me in regards of the deaf poem. He told me he was so touch by it and he said, "I understand exactly where you're coming from, believe me I *do* understand." I nodded, but I realized after couple of minutes... how can he understand where I'm coming from when he doesn't have a disability(ies)? Then suddenly it clicked my head. He has to be gay. So, I didn't say anything. We had a nice chat for awhile. He was the coolest boss I've ever had. Whether he's gay or not, I respect him so much.

For a long time everyone suspected that my boss was gay, but my boss was so good at hiding. He always had a female friend coming by to visit him because that his way to make all of us think that he's not gay. Still, I knew he was gay, but I didn't care. It just makes me sad that he had to hide because he knew he'd be prejudice from the job.

Five years later, a young guy in the same job filed against my boss for sexual harrassment. My boss was beside himself because it wasn't true at all. What happened was this young guy messed up the work so bad and my boss had to tell him what to do to make it right. Well, it pissed the young guy off so bad that he decided to mess with my boss by filing against him for sexual harrassment! Just getting even with my boss ya know? My boss had all the evidence and some email that young guy sent to him. To make the long story short, my boss won the case.

Anyway, aside from this... my boss pulled me in his office and he handed me the letter, but I was told to return it to him. I sat in the office with him and read the entire letter. My heart sank and I looked at him then he started to cry. He admitted that he is gay. He very much wanted to tell me right from the beginning, but he was too afraid. I told him, I had figured that because he said to me that he undestood where I was coming from in regards of my deafness. I went to him and gave him a big hug. I said, I love you my friend whether you're gay or not! He just hugged me soo hard. He made me cry, too.

We became very good friends and I supported him all the way. These people knows that I'm a strong supporter for gay and lesbian. I still don't give a flying fook about what they think of me because of who they are they're nothing but fookin arseholes.

At the end, everyone found out that my boss and this young guy are both gay so everyone at the job gave both of these men a very, very, very hard time. My boss decided to take an early retirement because of this crap. It pissed me off so bad and I kept saying that's so unphucking fair!! Eventually the young guy had to leave the job as well. I'm still at the same job and am standing on the ground like a soldier so I can make them suffer like they did to my poor boss!

It's sad that people can be so judgemental and so bias over homosexuality. I'll tell you, after my boss left the entire building has been going down! That should tell them something! My boss was thee best, I mean thee best. He was number one in the state and they fookin blew it!

*argh!*
 
Katzie said:
I got the deaf poem that I loved so much and sent to everyone, I mean, everyone at work. Got beautiful responses from them and only one person didn't respond. That's okay. There are people out there are like that.

Wow, that's sounds like a great idea, I could do that one day , Do you mind showing us the deaf poem that you send out to everyone at work?..
 
^Angel^ said:
Wow, that's sounds like a great idea, I could do that one day , Do you mind showing us the deaf poem that you send out to everyone at work?..

Most certainly...


Deafness / Hard of Hearing
Poem on Deafness
An anonymous poem on deafness

What is it like to be deaf? People have asked me.
How do I explain that? Simply, I can't hear?
Nooo, it is much more than that!!!!!


Further reading...
 
I am out to friends, but not totally 100% out to kids....like I don't have it listed on my facebook profile....too afraid of people's reactions....some people here are kinda homophobic....
 
deafdyke said:
I am out to friends, but not totally 100% out to kids....like I don't have it listed on my facebook profile....too afraid of people's reactions....some people here are kinda homophobic....

I agree-- I dont really show to kids who I am, I have respect for them. :) Dont want to influence them and get them wrong idea or something.
 
If anybody mocks you at work because of a disability or because of your sexual orientation, contact a lawyer. I’m not a lawyer, but I’ve been doing a little bit of armchair research on this subject. The courts are increasingly starting to uphold the concept that this is a form of harassment which is equivalent to sexual harassment. I personally know a woman who received an $85,000 out-of-court settlement from K-Tel Records after they fired her because she was taking Zoloft. It can be done. And even if you don’t win, it doesn’t hurt to try.
 
Well I'm comfortable with being out to some kids....but not comfortable being ALL out! Like there are some kids who are like totally FLAMBLOYANTLY gay, and everyone knows they are gay! But not everyone knows I can be attracted to women....and I'd rather keep it that way.
 
deafdyke said:
Well I'm comfortable with being out to some kids....but not comfortable being ALL out! Like there are some kids who are like totally FLAMBLOYANTLY gay, and everyone knows they are gay! But not everyone knows I can be attracted to women....and I'd rather keep it that way.

Rock on! I agree! :thumb:
 
My PE coach I had for six years in elementary school dressed like a guy, walked like a guy, looks like a guy, etc. When I got older, I found out from someone I know very well, that my coach is gay. I was very surprised, but of course I was little and I was his student...the person who told me who used to volunteer at that school around the time I was in school had noticed that he acted very different when he was away from the kids....and she talked to the other teachers (who were with her for some school events) who knew the coach had confirmed that he's gay.
When I read DeafDyke's comments about kids and her being gay, it reminded me of my PE Coach. :)
 
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