Relationship woes.

A

apres_moi

New Member
Joined
Jul 23, 2008
Messages
23
Reaction score
0
I'll try to make this as quick as possible. :P
In April one of my co-workers introduced me to her gorgeous friend, Noah (he's deaf btw) who was writing a story on the Jazz Club I waitress at. Anyways it was love at first sight, but I'll spare you of all the soppy details. So towards the end of May he took me to meet his parents (dramatic reverb) & THEY HATE ME! I made myself very presentable & I was very polite, I wasn't loud or obnoxious & I didn't snort when I laughed, so what's up? I know this is a bold thing for me to say but I feel like they disapprove of me because 1.) I'm not deaf & 2.) I'm a waitress. I talked to Noah & he said they just are getting used to me, but we go to his parents house every Thursday for dinner & I feel like their feelings for me worsen each time. I am running out of ideas on how to handle this, advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks in advance,
Suri.
 
It is their loss for judge you as the book cover, perhaps they think apparance is more important than personalities!!:hmm:
 
That's nothing new...there are many (not all) deaf families who are like that. Prefer their children date deaf people. I do not agree with that because it is reverse discrimination so it is possible it is not because of who u ae but because of your hearing status. Important that you and Noah focus on each other and worry about each other not everyone else. Good luck!
 
shel90 said:
That's nothing new...there are many (not all) deaf families who are like that. Prefer their children date deaf people. I do not agree with that because it is reverse discrimination so it is possible it is not because of who u ae but because of your hearing status. Important that you and Noah focus on each other and worry about each other not everyone else. Good luck!
Click to expand...

What I don't understand is a deaf girl going to love him anymore than I do just because she's deaf? Probably not. On a lighter note that is very good advice, thank you.
 
Last edited:
apres_moi said:
What I don't understand is a deaf girl going to him anymore than I do just because she's deaf? Probably not. On a lighter note that is very good advice, thank you.
Click to expand...

Right...I am deaf and I have had hearing parents tell on of my hearing ex that I may not be the right person for him because I couldnt talk on the phone like "normal" people do. I remember feeling so hurt.
 
shel90 said:
Right...I am deaf and I have had hearing parents tell on of my hearing ex that I may not be the right person for him because I couldnt talk on the phone like "normal" people do. I remember feeling so hurt.
Click to expand...

Damn I can see why you felt that way. People say some pretty hurtful things & sometimes without even realizing it.
 
I feel like my situation could be made into a movie. All it needs now is some rival deaf girl who has a better job & nicer rack than me.
 
Last edited:
Let's look at it in more positive light - not all but most deaf people from deaf families prefer dating deaf people only but it is clear that Noah wants YOU! Maybe his parents have a problem but Noah isnt even letting them influence his decision to date you. Noah wants YOU!

So if you keep your focus on that, the sting of his parents harsh judgment will lessen.


:)
 
apres_moi said:
I'll try to make this as quick as possible. :P
In April one of my co-workers introduced me to her gorgeous friend, Noah (he's deaf btw) who was writing a story on the Jazz Club I waitress at. Anyways it was love at first sight, but I'll spare you of all the soppy details. So towards the end of May he took me to meet his parents (dramatic reverb) & THEY HATE ME! I made myself very presentable & I was very polite, I wasn't loud or obnoxious & I didn't snort when I laughed, so what's up? I know this is a bold thing for me to say but I feel like they disapprove of me because 1.) I'm not deaf & 2.) I'm a waitress. I talked to Noah & he said they just are getting used to me, but we go to his parents house every Thursday for dinner & I feel like their feelings for me worsen each time. I am running out of ideas on how to handle this, advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks in advance,
Suri.
Click to expand...

Hi Suri..

Try tell him that going out eat instead his parent s house?? :dunno2: maybe i am wrong??

Good luck! :)
 
Gemma said:
Let's look at it in more positive light - not all but most deaf people from deaf families prefer dating deaf people only but it is clear that Noah wants YOU! Maybe his parents have a problem but Noah isnt even letting them influence his decision to date you. Noah wants YOU!

So if you keep your focus on that, the sting of his parents harsh judgment will lessen.


:)
Click to expand...

You're exactly right. I'll keep my fingers crossed, try my best to stay positive & maybe his parents will stop treating like the plague.
 
Phillips said:
Hi Suri..

Try tell him that going out eat instead his parent s house?? :dunno2: maybe i am wrong??

Good luck! :)
Click to expand...

Haha good idea :)
& if that doesn't work I can pretend to be violently ill every Thursday for the rest of my life lol.
 
shel90 said:
That's nothing new...there are many (not all) deaf families who are like that. Prefer their children date deaf people. I do not agree with that because it is reverse discrimination so it is possible it is not because of who u ae but because of your hearing status. Important that you and Noah focus on each other and worry about each other not everyone else. Good luck!
Click to expand...

**nodding agreement** And, excellent advise, Shel.

And, it probably isn't so much a dislike of you as a fear that he will be taken away from their world. It is understandable, especially if they have encountered problems with acceptance in the hearing world. They probably also fear that the time will come that you will hold his deafness against him. While all of these fears are unrealistic, they can be understandable if you try to see things from their perspective. I wish you much luck in your relationship with Noah.
 
Yikes! Noah needs to stand up to his parents if he hasn't already, IMO. I would not let my date/sweetheart hang out in such a toxic environment.
 
I am coming in at this point because I don't have much time today but where are you on the scale as far as sign language skills go?
 
I was wondering the same thing. How do you communicate with Noah and his family? Also, are you familiar with deaf culture? Those things could be a factor of why there's a breakdown between you and his parents.

Personally, I would stop going to the dinners - especially since your relationship is still pretty new. Let them know if they (the parents, not Noah) would like for you to come, they can let you know and you'll be happy to come. Give it some time.
 
Do they even know your father is Tom Cruise? I mean cmon now? Who cant be happy with that fact? :laugh2:
 
Back
Top