Quotes...
- Thread starter MMA fan
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The*Empress
New Member
- Joined
- Jan 26, 2005
- Messages
- 6,908
- Reaction score
- 3
My job is secure. No one else wants it.
Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain
My computer doesn't understand me!!
Grandchildren are spoiled because you can't spank the Grandma!
Save the humans
If you took an IQ test, the results would be negative
Artificial intelligence usually beats real stupidity
A politician should do two terms - one in office and one in jail
Bosses are like diapers. Full of shit and all over your ass!
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
Of course I don't look busy, I did it right the first time
The #1 cause of divorce is ... Marriage
If it's tourist season then why can't we shoot them?
Men have feelings too, but who really cares?
And on the eighth day, God went skiing
Not all women are fools. Some are single.
If everything is coming your way, then you're in the wrong lane
Insanity is hereditary - you get it from your children
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather ... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
The best way to get on your feet is to get off your ass!
Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes!
Caution! Driver just doesn't give a shit anymore!
Don't steal. The government hates competition.
Have a crappy day
God grant me patience. And I want it NOW!
Impeach Clinton. And her husband.
Caution! I brake for tailgaters
Annoy a liberal. Work hard and smile
Everybody wants to go to heaven but nobody wants to die
If you drink, don't park. Accidents cause people!
I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them
Your kid may be an honor student, but you're still an idiot!
Women who want to be equal to men lack ambition
Computers cut my work in half and the boss expects me to put it all back together!
Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself!
Ignore your rights and they'll go away
If you're rich, I'm single!
I don't suffer from insanity - I enjoy every minute of it
Get even. Live long enough to be a problem to your children
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
Support the right to arm bears!
A woman with a big fat ass should dump him
Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an idiot!
You can't fix stupid
I AM in shape. Round is a shape.
I've run out of sick days, so I'm calling in dead!
Earth First. We'll screw up the other planets later.
When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving is not for you
I drive way too fast to worry about cholestrol
Reality is the leading cause of stress
Jesus is coming! Look busy
Same BS, different day
I like your approach, let's see your departure
I said for better or for worse, not forever!
I respect your opinion. Just don't want to hear it!
I used to be schizophrenic, but we're OK now.
Panic now and avoid the rush
I fight poverty, I work
If men are from Mars, then why can't we send them back?
God's last name is not damnit!
Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
America - Love it or leave it
DAMM - Drunks against Mad Mothers
I love my boss, I love my job, I'm self employed
Life's a bitch and then you die!
Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.
Life is like a box of chocolates .. full of nuts!
To hell with the dog, beware of the owner
I'm not as think as you drunk I am
The more people I meet, the more I like my dog
If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you!
Few women admit their age ... Fewer men act theirs
Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off.
If this car were a horse, I'd have to shoot it
Ask me if I care!
The ten commandments aren't multiple choice
Learn from your parents mistakes - use birth control
I finally got it all together, but I forgot where I put it
First they burn books then they burn people
I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
I only look Sweet & Innocent
You have the right to remain silent. So please SHUT UP.
Work harder. Millions on welfare depend on you
If women are from Venus, then why can't we send them back?
Not all men are fools. Some are single.
If you think education is expensive, try ignorance
I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
My kid beat up your honor student
It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.
Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain
My computer doesn't understand me!!
Grandchildren are spoiled because you can't spank the Grandma!
Save the humans
If you took an IQ test, the results would be negative
Artificial intelligence usually beats real stupidity
A politician should do two terms - one in office and one in jail
Bosses are like diapers. Full of shit and all over your ass!
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
Of course I don't look busy, I did it right the first time
The #1 cause of divorce is ... Marriage
If it's tourist season then why can't we shoot them?
Men have feelings too, but who really cares?
And on the eighth day, God went skiing
Not all women are fools. Some are single.
If everything is coming your way, then you're in the wrong lane
Insanity is hereditary - you get it from your children
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather ... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
The best way to get on your feet is to get off your ass!
Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes!
Caution! Driver just doesn't give a shit anymore!
Don't steal. The government hates competition.
Have a crappy day
God grant me patience. And I want it NOW!
Impeach Clinton. And her husband.
Caution! I brake for tailgaters
Annoy a liberal. Work hard and smile
Everybody wants to go to heaven but nobody wants to die
If you drink, don't park. Accidents cause people!
I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them
Your kid may be an honor student, but you're still an idiot!
Women who want to be equal to men lack ambition
Computers cut my work in half and the boss expects me to put it all back together!
Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself!
Ignore your rights and they'll go away
If you're rich, I'm single!
I don't suffer from insanity - I enjoy every minute of it
Get even. Live long enough to be a problem to your children
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
Support the right to arm bears!
A woman with a big fat ass should dump him
Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an idiot!
You can't fix stupid
I AM in shape. Round is a shape.
I've run out of sick days, so I'm calling in dead!
Earth First. We'll screw up the other planets later.
When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving is not for you
I drive way too fast to worry about cholestrol
Reality is the leading cause of stress
Jesus is coming! Look busy
Same BS, different day
I like your approach, let's see your departure
I said for better or for worse, not forever!
I respect your opinion. Just don't want to hear it!
I used to be schizophrenic, but we're OK now.
Panic now and avoid the rush
I fight poverty, I work
If men are from Mars, then why can't we send them back?
God's last name is not damnit!
Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
America - Love it or leave it
DAMM - Drunks against Mad Mothers
I love my boss, I love my job, I'm self employed
Life's a bitch and then you die!
Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.
Life is like a box of chocolates .. full of nuts!
To hell with the dog, beware of the owner
I'm not as think as you drunk I am
The more people I meet, the more I like my dog
If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you!
Few women admit their age ... Fewer men act theirs
Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off.
If this car were a horse, I'd have to shoot it
Ask me if I care!
The ten commandments aren't multiple choice
Learn from your parents mistakes - use birth control
I finally got it all together, but I forgot where I put it
First they burn books then they burn people
I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
I only look Sweet & Innocent
You have the right to remain silent. So please SHUT UP.
Work harder. Millions on welfare depend on you
If women are from Venus, then why can't we send them back?
Not all men are fools. Some are single.
If you think education is expensive, try ignorance
I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
My kid beat up your honor student
It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.
I'll post some more later... don't have much time now.
The*Empress
New Member
- Joined
- Jan 26, 2005
- Messages
- 6,908
- Reaction score
- 3
I am looking forward to see your quotes.
Ethereal
New Member
- Joined
- Aug 19, 2004
- Messages
- 248
- Reaction score
- 0
Impartial observers from other planets would consider ours an utterly bizarre enclave if it were populated by birds, defined as flying animals, that nevertheless rarely or never actually flew.
They would also be perplexed if they encountered in our seas, lakes, rivers, and ponds, creatures defined as swimmers that never did any swimming.
But they would be even more surprised to encounter a species defined as a thinking animal if, in fact, the creature very rarely indulged in actual thinking.
They would also be perplexed if they encountered in our seas, lakes, rivers, and ponds, creatures defined as swimmers that never did any swimming.
But they would be even more surprised to encounter a species defined as a thinking animal if, in fact, the creature very rarely indulged in actual thinking.