Quick question: What to wear to a funeral?

[Cheri]

Just some funeral etiquette trivia:

Traditional American: Young children wear white, not black clothing to a funeral. Black mourning clothing is for older teens and adults.

Good! Because both of my boys wore white polo shirt with tan pants. I wore a white blouse with dark blue pants. I did saw one person there at the funeral wore jeans and he was an adult.

Not everyone wore black at the funeral, some did, some wore brown color, and dark blue colors.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

I agree with GalaxyAngel and Reba about respect.

I told my both boys to prepare to wear for my sister funeral but it should be dark and appropriate clothes to show their respect to their Aunt. They have no problem for that and pick black jeans up and white shirt, dark jacket.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Believe it or not, several Deaf people wear sport jacket and tee shirt and jean pants at Dad s wake. Even they asked me several personal questions. I said, it is not necessary to discuss my family s personal. Thanks for your concern. They were gulped. Unbelievable ! They had no disrespectfully my Dad s funeral last week.

Oh my dear, it´s an inappropriate! *shake my head* I´m very sorry that you deal with those people like that.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Not everyone wore black at the funeral, some did, some wore brown color, and dark blue colors.

Yes, it don´t have to wear just black but just dark and appropriate clothes.

 

[Oceanbreeze]

I didn't know that about the young children.

When my mother passed away when I was nine, I borrowed and wore my childhood best friend's very pretty satin red dress with white "fake fur" along the bottom of the dress. I thought that dress was real pretty, and I felt that my mother would have wanted me to wear something that I liked, instead of something plain and black. No one told me I had to wear black for the funeral, and no one told me what to wear. I just went over to my friend's house and asked her if she would mind if I borrowed her red dress for the funeral, and she let me wear it (she came to the funeral with me also because her mother was best friends with my mother). I saw no point in wearing black for a funeral. I am pretty sure my mother would have wanted me to wear something that I thought was very nice and pretty instead of drabby black clothes for her funeral.

I actually did not know that people were supposed to wear black to funerals until about a year later, and when I learned that, I went WTF. Most people who came to my mother's funeral wore a wide variety of bright or light colors of nice clothes. I don't remember much black on that day.

When I get old and die of old age, I do NOT want anyone to dress in all black for my funeral just because it is "proper". I want people to wear whatever they want/like to wear for the funeral.

That's strange (in a good way). When my uncle died, (relative on Dad's side of the fam) everybody wore the traditional dark clothing. I was about 17-18 when he passed, and I remember wearing this dark blue dress my Mom had gotten me for Christmas that year. It was really pretty, though.

But, I'm glad you got to wear what you felt was respectable to your Mother and her memory.

 

[sara1981]

its dosent matter for your kids using clothing for funeral whatsoevers during seasons like spring,summer,winter,fall clothing.

when my late grandma died last year July 2007 dues Stroke and im using black clothes for funeral because im mourning of my grandma when she died but im miss her very much everyday but i wont dwell about my grandma but she now in heaven.

whatevers when im at my family's funeral i would using black clothing or color clothing its my chose for wores.

 

[jillio]

I didn't know that about the young children.

When my mother passed away when I was nine, I borrowed and wore my childhood best friend's very pretty satin red dress with white "fake fur" along the bottom of the dress. I thought that dress was real pretty, and I felt that my mother would have wanted me to wear something that I liked, instead of something plain and black. No one told me I had to wear black for the funeral, and no one told me what to wear. I just went over to my friend's house and asked her if she would mind if I borrowed her red dress for the funeral, and she let me wear it (she came to the funeral with me also because her mother was best friends with my mother). I saw no point in wearing black for a funeral. I am pretty sure my mother would have wanted me to wear something that I thought was very nice and pretty instead of drabby black clothes for her funeral.

I actually did not know that people were supposed to wear black to funerals until about a year later, and when I learned that, I went WTF. Most people who came to my mother's funeral wore a wide variety of bright or light colors of nice clothes. I don't remember much black on that day.

When I get old and die of old age, I do NOT want anyone to dress in all black for my funeral just because it is "proper". I want people to wear whatever they want/like to wear for the funeral.

I agree with you, Lucia. It matters more that we are there to pay our respects to the family members, and to honor the deceased than it is what clothes we have on our body. I think that if we used funerals to celebrate the life the person lived, more than mourning our loss, we would have a much easier time dealing with death.

 

[pek1]

Never mind, we are going to the store before going to the funeral, Thanks!!

And pek1 if you wish to talk to Jillio take it in pm land or profile visitor message, it's rude to post something that has nothing to do with the topic at hand. Thank-you.

Cheri, I apologize . . . what I should have done was that or :topic:

 

[SeanB]

I once had to borrow a 70's vintage leisure suit because 1) It's been awhile since I owned a suit, and 2) I had to find something out of respect for the deceased. Sorry to say, I was the joke of the event - so much for my efforts! SO ALL YOU MEN OUT THERE, if you don't got it, you should have at least ONE suit to wear to these type of occasions.

 

[horselover61]

Cheri what important is the person show up to the funeral rather then not showing up. I went to funernal many times and my son wore jean and nice shirt since he doesnt have a nice pant. But once my son get older he may consider wearing a nice pant to the funeral. I recently went to the funeral and my son wore jean and nice shirt and I have seen adult wore jean too as long they show respect and mourn the love one.

 

[pek1]

Personally, I don't think the vast majority of people dress up for the visitation.

 

[Reba]

Personally, I don't think the vast majority of people dress up for the visitation.

In this area, people don't "dress up" for the visitation but they do dress nicely, not casual. Immediate family adult males pastors usually wear jackets and ties but many male visitors wear nice slacks and shirts (no jeans). The women wear dresses, suits, slacks or skirts with blouses or sweaters (no jeans). Kids usually wear school-type clothing (no t-shirts, shorts or jeans).

 

[Reba]

I notice that the people who observe the most tradition at funerals are Southern all-black church people. Most of them wear dressy black or dark clothes, including suits for the men and hats for the ladies. What impresses me most are the "support" services they provide for funerals. There are several ladies (usually older) who wear the old-style nurses white uniforms, including white hose and shoes, and nurses' caps. They also wear lacy white gloves. They carry and distribute paper fans and tissues for the mourners.

The most interesting part is that one lady is "assigned" to each of the most sensitive mourners (such as parents and spouses), and sticks like glue to that person. The "nurse" sits next to the mourner in the church pew, handing out tissues and waving the fan. The "nurse" also takes the arm of the mourner and hangs on whenever they stand or walk.

 

[Mrs Bucket]

For me, I wear slacks and blouses to visitation and to the funeral, I put a long sweater jacket on.

It is about respect.

 

[pek1]

I notice that the people who observe the most tradition at funerals are Southern all-black church people. Most of them wear dressy black or dark clothes, including suits for the men and hats for the ladies. What impresses me most are the "support" services they provide for funerals. There are several ladies (usually older) who wear the old-style nurses white uniforms, including white hose and shoes, and nurses' caps. They also wear lacy white gloves. They carry and distribute paper fans and tissues for the mourners.

The most interesting part is that one lady is "assigned" to each of the most sensitive mourners (such as parents and spouses), and sticks like glue to that person. The "nurse" sits next to the mourner in the church pew, handing out tissues and waving the fan. The "nurse" also takes the arm of the mourner and hangs on whenever they stand or walk.

:topic: Reba,

When I drove truck otr, I found a store in Dallas, TX where a lot of black people shop, specifically the men shop at. You should have seen those suits! They weren't any more pricey than where white guys shop.

Sorry for off-topic, now back to our thread.

 

[Byrdie714]

In our culture, when there is a funeral--of course we dress up--but afterwards we party, eat, and drink!

Interestingly enough--when we have a new family member born--we cry out of sadness.

Totally opposite.

 

[LuciaDisturbed]

In our culture, when there is a funeral--of course we dress up--but afterwards we party, eat, and drink!

Interestingly enough--when we have a new family member born--we cry out of sadness.

Totally opposite.

Why? I am puzzled why a birth of a family member be a very sad occasion? I don't understand. Unless the baby dies in childbirth or short after? Is that what you meant? Please explain. I want to understand.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

In our culture, when there is a funeral--of course we dress up--but afterwards we party, eat, and drink!

*curious*

What kind of party?

My family side is Irish...

Normally open coffin should be in the living room and stay for one day but my sister is different story because part of her body cracked... Nobody should see it... so her closed coffin went to church straight way. After funeral, there're buffet and drink - the people come and socialized to remember their beloved one's life. It's the traditional Irish way of celebrate beloved one's life.

German tradition:

Say farewell to beloved one, no matter either closed or open coffin... for one hour before church... After afternoon funeral, go to cafe for afternoon coffee and cake or morning funeral, go to resturant for dinner.

I have 2 interesting links about different customs around the world.

My funky funeral
Funeral Rites Cultures From around the World

I remember from watch the original document on TV about Buddhists in Tibet believe in leave the body to vultures. The bones have to collect after vultures finished to eat corpses and use their beloved one's bones for decoration in their house.


Strange funeral customs from around the world
Strange funeral customs from around the world | MetaFilter

Interestingly enough--when we have a new family member born--we cry out of sadness.

Totally opposite.

What do you mean?



Cheri, I will create a new thread to get the moderator to move my post to my new thread if you feel my post does not relate your thread.

 

[WhiteWolves64]

There was a deaf young lady who wore sexy black dress that looks like WHORE dress during funeral that our deaf gal who was killed in freak auto accident that was on her way to work during fog in the morning. Everyone was looking at her way of dress during funeral that is very disrespectful and what worse after funeral done and we were having snacks and she changed her black whore dress to white whore dress (same exactly dress but just two different color as black and white ones).... SMH!!!!!!!!!

 

[Cheri]

Cheri, I will create a new thread to get the moderator to move my post to my new thread if you feel my post does not relate your thread.

No, You don't need to created another thread, You're just right on topic, it's about the funeral anyways.