People don't understand

[The*Empress]

My mom still doesn't understand that I can't have a fully communication
with someone.

Guests came yesterday, and I said hi to them, but my mom
told me to come downstairs and talk.

So I told my mom I don't want to.

The Guests were pissed off...

My mom asked me, "why you didn't sit down and talk with them?"

I tried to tell her that when I was at Ophelia's house, all I can
do is daydream... because I don't
understand what is going on between her and Ophelia, I don't
know what they were saying.

So I don't want to daydream again, if I go downstair and try
to communicate with Freida and her husband yesterday,
because I know I won't be able to hear what they say...
It would be a waste of time, I would just look in the space and
not hear anything....

And also, at work, last week before I quit the job, the boss Jera
was telling me to communicate with other co workers...
so I went and tried to communicate, but all I can say is HI and Hi and hi...
but I can't hear anything else they say.

And one co worker purposely cover her mouth while she talked
she knew I was reading her lips, I felt people are unfair.

And I had a beautician to do my hair... and she wanted me
to talk to her while she does my hair...
but I didn't have my hearing aid on, and I needed to read her lips
to understand what she say...
She got pissed off and told me she won't do my hair anymore.

Why people don't understand? Why do they think there are only 2 ways,
You gotta be deaf mute or you can hear?

But they don't understand that there are many different type of people
with different hearing loss in percentage.

Ugh!!!

 

[deafdyke]

WORD.......my mom's always on my case about socializing with hearing people.....but it takes TOO MUCH energy to get what's going on 100%......wish hearing parents realized that!

 

[javapride]

i usually carry a 5 min conversation, then im usually excusing myself to my own room and that's it, i told mom i ll come out and do a greet then thats it then like with thanksgiving, i ll come out chat for a bit then eat then go back to my room and thats it wait til they leave then im the done! and i always roll my eyes at mom for inviting poeple to our house when she knows im not around deaf company blah

 

[deafclimber]

this poem was written by Willard J. Madsen,

You Have to be deaf to understand the deaf
What is it like to "hear" a hand?
You have to be deaf to understand.

What is it like to be a small child,
In a school, in a room void of sound --
With a teacher who talks and talks and talks;
And then when she does come around to you,
She expects you to know what she's said?
You have to be deaf to understand.

Or the teacher thinks that to make you smart,
You must first learn how to talk with your voice;
So mumbo-jumbo with hands on your face
For hours and hours without patience or end,
Until out comes a faint resembling sound?
You have to be deaf to understand.

What is it like to be curious,
To thirst for knowledge you can call your own,
With an inner desire that's set on fire --
And you ask a brother, sister, or friend
Who looks in answer and says, "Never Mind"?
You have to be deaf to understand.

What it is like in a corner to stand,
Though there's nothing you've done really wrong,
Other than try to make use of your hands
To a silent peer to communicate
A thought that comes to your mind all at once?
You have to be deaf to understand.

What is it like to be shouted at
When one thinks that will help you to hear;
Or misunderstand the words of a friend
Who is trying to make a joke clear,
And you don't get the point because he's failed?
You have to be deaf to understand.

What is it like to be laughed in the face
When you try to repeat what is said;
Just to make sure that you've understood,
And you find that the words were misread --
And you want to cry out, "Please help me, friend"?
You have to be deaf to understand.

What is it like to have to depend
Upon one who can hear to phone a friend;
Or place a call to a business firm
And be forced to share what's personal, and,
Then find that your message wasn't made clear?
You have to be deaf to understand.

What is it like to be deaf and alone
In the company of those who can hear --
And you only guess as you go along,
For no one's there with a helping hand,
As you try to keep up with words and song?
You have to be deaf to understand.

What is it like on the road of life
To meet with a stranger who opens his mouth --
And speaks out a line at a rapid pace;
And you can't understand the look in his face
Because it is new and you're lost in the race?
You have to be deaf to understand.

What is it like to comprehend
Some nimble fingers that paint the scene,
And make you smile and feel serene,
With the "spoken word" of the moving hand
That makes you part of the word at large?
You have to be deaf to understand.

What is it like to "hear" a hand?
Yes, you have to be deaf to understand.

 

[The*Empress]

I told my mom what you guys said on here....
And she was speechless.

 

[Nancy]

I know what you mean, Miss P. I agree with DD and Java....I did the same thing too.

 

[DarrenD]

My Dad was a minister, so socializing was the norm in my family. But it embarrased the shit out of me when my parents (mostly my Mom) would say something stupid like "come sit with us and talk," and I would miss out on half of what was said. And my mom always made a point of trying to turn to me and repeat some things a little more clearly so that I could catch the humor and have a little laugh...way after the moment had passed and everyone was waiting for her to finish and me to laugh.

Oh, god I hated that. She STILL does that shit, too, at 77 years old. I appreciate her intent, but I still want to grab a baseball bat and smash everything around me.

Since my Dad's father was totally deaf, maybe he understood that I didn't want to do that...he never repeated stuff like that to me. If I was smiling, he left me alone. But my mom would turn to me and ask in front of everyone "Did you catch that?" no matter if I was laughing, smiling, barfing or whatever. Taught me to be a gracious liar and actor.

I learned to think quick and make excuses to get the hell out...if we were at someone else's house, I'd go to the bathroom, go outside and try and find something "interesting" to bide my time with, or perhaps initiate a conversation on MY terms where I could control the conversation and more or less know what to expect. One thing that always helps is to start a conversation with a subject that makes the others uncomfortable, i.e.abortion, social injustice, or any subject that they had no knowledge of. Didn't do that until i was in college, though.