Parents

metalangel

Active Member
Joined
Feb 20, 2012
Messages
1,235
Reaction score
0
I went to visit my parents this weekend, and told them I was going to an adult ASL immersion camp this summer (run by the Bob Rumball Foundation in Ontario, if anyone wonders which one).

My father wasn't sure what it involved, and I explained that they take people who want to learn ASL from any level, complete beginner up to advanced. He then asked how they could teach a complete beginner, and make them understand, if it's a complete immersion setting with no talking permitted. I said it would likely be like my course at college, using a lot of slides and such to illustrate concepts. He didn't seem to accept this.

He went on some weird tangent to show off that he knows a bit of German by saying 'this is a living room table' in German and tapping it, and then asked me (in English) how I would indicate that I understood what he'd said. I said that I would nod and indicate with my facial expression, and this didn't seem to wash so in frustration I signed 'FAMILY ROOM TABLE' and he quickly changed the subject back.

Instead, he asked what my very first lesson in college was. I already knew a few things before I started the course so I was a little bit prepared, but the first lesson was asking someone's name and asking if they were Deaf or hearing. The subject was dropped shortly afterward before I could say that if the slides (with some English text) method wasn't suitable, perhaps he could remember how I was taught English as an infant?

I felt so uncomfortable and embarrassed by the whole thing. I am really trying hard to continue practicing and improving now that the course is over, and I felt like I was being tricked into looking foolish and then being given a platitude of 'we support you in learning this'. I feel like I can't really get them to understand much about the ASL part of my life and don't know what to do. What frustrates me most is that I'm an adult (33) and can't really understand the feeling of being 'put in my place' as if I was a teenager.
 
Maybe the parent did make opinion about what your plan was that affect you. Don't let them to allege whatever they think of that affect you.. Just go to a camp. I am SO sure that you will have a good time, and learn SO much from each of people and learn ASL. Overall, it will help you to see where you are being "put in your place".

I hope one from canada who know about this Bob Rumball Foundation and can share with you about it.

Good Luck and Have fun.
 
Pretty sure DrPhil knows about Bob Rumball center. Maybe he could be convinced to go to the immersion camp and add ASL exercises to the dancing.
 
I'm going, I just had the feeling that my dad especially likes to know it all, and this (ASL) is one thing he doesn't... and feels threatened by that. I really can't explain it either, but it's the way he is - if you have any sort of debate with him he'll pick on any tiny flaw in your position he can find and then smirk/laugh when you fall over yourself trying to explain what you meant. I was trying to explain something about the new Star Trek movies and their timeline compared to the TV series and had the same experience!

The Bob Rumball Centre itself is just up the road from Sunnybrook Hospital where drphil got his CIs after becoming bilateral DEAF in August 2007. The Foundation has projects and facilities around Ontario.
 
Last edited:
My parents were difficult well into their 60's so I can understand how you feel.

However, are you sure he is being difficult or genuinely asking you questions? If you grow up with parents who are difficult, you are always on the defensive first. Surely, they can't stop you from taking the class so you need to reexamine it. I'm not saying there is not friction, but, honestly what can they do?
 
It started as asking questions, but then the mood changed. I have no problem sharing what (little) I know of ASL and Deaf culture to try and educate people! However, it's in his nature I think: we went to the Welland Canal to watch a ship go through a lock and there was a very knowledgeable older guy there (who was wearing an official looking badge) offering information about the locks and ships and canal itself. My dad told him about the Kiel Canal that he had a vacation through a few years ago...

He later said happily how he 'got one over' on that other guy by mentioning the Kiel Canal (the other guy hadn't heard of it) and also saying how much bigger the locks were and explaining how they worked differently to those on the Welland Canal. It was a 'he thought he knew it all, well I sure showed him!'

It's just that attitude of 'oh yeah, well...' trying to get the upper hand and 'win' everything. He's the sort of person who'll use 'oh yeah, well it's MY TV and I PAID FOR IT so we're watching this'. It was always like this but lately it seems worse, and my gf apologized later for bringing the ASL subject up because she had forgotten what would probably happen.

They can't stop me going, no. I don't live with them, and I'm paying my own way.
 
I've attended several ASL immersion camps and weekends, and have had all positive experiences. They were fun and I learned a lot. I also met a bunch of great people, hearing and deaf, with various ASL skill levels. It was great!

You will be glad that you went. :)
 
I can't wait to go! Two of my best friends are going too, and it's set on two lakes so there'll be all sorts of outdoor activities. I wish it was tomorrow, I don't want to wait until the middle of August!
 
It started as asking questions, but then the mood changed. I have no problem sharing what (little) I know of ASL and Deaf culture to try and educate people! However, it's in his nature I think: we went to the Welland Canal to watch a ship go through a lock and there was a very knowledgeable older guy there (who was wearing an official looking badge) offering information about the locks and ships and canal itself. My dad told him about the Kiel Canal that he had a vacation through a few years ago...

He later said happily how he 'got one over' on that other guy by mentioning the Kiel Canal (the other guy hadn't heard of it) and also saying how much bigger the locks were and explaining how they worked differently to those on the Welland Canal. It was a 'he thought he knew it all, well I sure showed him!'

It's just that attitude of 'oh yeah, well...' trying to get the upper hand and 'win' everything.
Yes, there are some people who can't enjoy an experience just for the sake of the experience itself. He must be insecure about himself, and uses one-up-manship to maintain his self esteem. Since you are aware of this, just roll your eyes (mentally) when he does it...

They can't stop me going, no. I don't live with them, and I'm paying my own way.
Good for you. :thumb:
 
That sounds like so much fun. I'm jealous. :P I went to a full day immersion a few weeks ago and got a lot out of it.
I hope your dad comes around, but if not try to let it roll off your shoulders.
 
Thanks all for the input. I'm hoping that with continued practice this summer and the camp I will be able to pass the screening for (and get accepted to) the interpreter program at college.
 
I have been at Bob Rumball Deaf centre in the past. Canadian Hard of Hearing Association had a pre Christmas lunch there- a few years ago.. I saw 5 Deaf seniors there of which only one actually spoke.The others just signed.I asked if anyone there had a Cochlear Implant-answer no. They were at the back of the dining room.

I will not be going to an Immersion ASL camp.-Bob Rumballs

To my friend Bottesini- ASL as such has nothing to with Dancing, however hearing the music does. Cochlear Implants does help some DEAF persons-at least in my actual situation. Of course, one of the reasons for CI consideration.
Still part of the "2 left foot group" of dancers-senior section.. Thanks- more weekend practice. Tonight: Dancing with Stars-final and So you think you can dance?

aside: my Cochlear Implant was hooked up August 8, 2007. I became bilateral DEAF December 20, 2006
 
I have been at Bob Rumball Deaf centre in the past. Canadian Hard of Hearing Association had a pre Christmas lunch there- a few years ago.. I saw 5 Deaf seniors there of which only one actually spoke.The others just signed.I asked if anyone there had a Cochlear Implant-answer no. They were at the back of the dining room.

I will not be going to an Immersion ASL camp.-Bob Rumballs

To my friend Bottesini- ASL as such has nothing to with Dancing, however hearing the music does. Cochlear Implants does help some DEAF persons-at least in my actual situation. Of course, one of the reasons for CI consideration.
Still part of the "2 left foot group" of dancers-senior section.. Thanks- more weekend practice. Tonight: Dancing with Stars-final and So you think you can dance?

aside: my Cochlear Implant was hooked up August 8, 2007. I became bilateral DEAF December 20, 2006

You swim, you dance, both good exercise. But go to ASL camp and you could make new friends and you can do ASL far longer than swimming or dancing!
 
My ongoing swimming is done for a very specific reason. Two weeks ago I had a Cardiac Treadmill stress test- at my family doctor's request. I easily completed the 20 minute. test. aside:I had a "heart attack" December 30, 1988.

His advice to me-just continue your swimming. I get a yearly pass for swimming.
I don't have the Neptune implant

I still consider dancing as such-Cochlear Implant exercise.

As for "interacting" with "deaf/Deaf/DEAF" persons consider my ongoing comments=here.

Whether one is "voice off/deaf Militant"- here is very "different" than actual interaction within a small local group.
 
I'm quite jealous of metalangel going to the camp, I wish I was able to take the time like that.
BTW, your dad was being a real prick, the platitude without actual appreciation for what you're doing is infuriating, especially since he won't be able to "one up" you in that matter. Some people just like to have a perpetual pissing contest,and be the "expert; my one brother-in-law is like that. The entire extended family (apart from his wife) can't stand him.
 
metalangel-

That's awesome that you're going to the camp.

I don't think it's strange at all that there are immersion programs for beginners (not that you're a beginner, but on that topic) - my first few asl classes were voice off, taught by deaf instructors, and they were awesome. I know I learned a huge amount. If beginners couldn't learn by immersion, then how would babies aquire language? They don't have another language to have things explained in. :0

Anyway. Sorry to hear that your dad was so creepy and aggressive about it. He sounds a whole whole lot like my dad:(

Have a blast at camp!
 
metalangel: Hope your stay at Rumballs ASL camp is enjoyable with the extensive ASL practice.
 
Metalangel, you have way more patience than I do, cause dad sounds like a cantankerous turd.
 
Back
Top