Parents-know-best view 'outdated'

[Liebling:-)))]

That's your opinion.

No it´s not my opinion but fact. I know from experience because I myself have 2 teenage sons.

I am doing the way my mother raised me, which I will not be surprised because I will become my own mother anyhow. She did not allow us to date, go to dances, or drive a car until after we were 18. So it will become natural for me to do the same thing.

Okay, this is your decision.

I would not copy the way what my parents raised me because I know their time is different as present time.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

That is absolutely not true. The only immaturity ones I have seen are the ones whose parents try to solve every little problems the child had. I dated a 28 years old guy like this and I have observed how his parents deal with him (he was still living with them). I broke up with him because I felt he was too immature. His parents were not strict either. They spoil him because he had crohn's disease at a young age.

Rising your kids with discipline and rules is totally different.

Really? See yourself...

http://www.alldeaf.com/current-events/38977-usa-second-worst-place-raise-kids.html

That´s why I has no problem with my teenagers for their respect on us because they know our form of discipline at earlier before they hit their puberty.

A lot of European parents show their respect on their teenagers as the same they show their respect on their parents as well, that´s why parents and teenager´s relationship works pretty good.

 

[nightcrickets]

Your definition of respect is totally different than ours. We set rules because we love them. And Europeans is not all that pretty as you make it to be.

and yes, it is true, spoiling do create immature kids. I seen it all the time in America.

And I grew up in a fundamental Baptist Church, and rarely any of the kids there are immature. They grow up to be responsible adults. They may seem different, but they are not immature. Some of them do become immature, but that's because the parents overdo it when the bible says Eph 6:4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

As long as your kids get what they want, they won't cause you any trouble. Kinda like a kid throwing a temper trauma over a candy bar. so what do you do? you tell them no. They get over it.

 

[nightcrickets]

Another thing, My hippy aunt did the same thing you did.

He wondered in the streets and ended up almost getting himself killed from drugs and one guy almost molested him.


He needed stable family life. He didn't have a male father figure either, and a firm mother who would tell him it is not safe to go out in the street.

And beer and smoking (from the article). Geez, I think everyone do that no matter what background they came from. It's peer pressure. If you go to a party and everyone was drinking, would you?

Beside, each child is different some do better with one with certain childrearing than the other. How you were raised by your mother will work with your child. My aunt took a different approach than her mother and it didn't turn out well for her. My mom and some of her sisters took my grandma approach with their kids and they became a well adjusted healthy adults.

 

[Reba]

I´m sorry that I didn´t see that nightcricket quoted my post in first place... Occhhh.. I should quote nightcricket´s post before you.

No problem.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Your definition of respect is totally different than ours. We set rules because we love them. And Europeans is not all that pretty as you make it to be.

Of course I have rules in my house. This thread, I´m talk about respect our children case they are too fear to talk open with us. Got it?

and yes, it is true, spoiling do create immature kids. I seen it all the time in America.

I am afraid yes, the problem is the parents keep them from grow into responsibilty young adult.

And I grew up in a fundamental Baptist Church, and rarely any of the kids there are immature. They grow up to be responsible adults. They may seem different, but they are not immature. Some of them do become immature, but that's because the parents overdo it when the bible says Eph 6:4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

For your information, I don´t do what the bible says but work out with my children´s character myself.

As long as your kids get what they want, they won't cause you any trouble. Kinda like a kid throwing a temper trauma over a candy bar. so what do you do? you tell them no. They get over it.

Very simple answer on your question.

For toddlers is a different story. They don´t understand why their parents say no until they learn to familiar the word "No" when they grow out of toddler time. For young children, they have to learn to accept the word "No". - I asked them to promise me to not pick anything what they wants in the stores and made bad behavior before leave home for shopping. They agreed. In the stores, they point their finger on something... I said to them... "Remember your promises?" They remember and give up. Alway remind them before leave for shopping. Its work pretty good and less stress.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Another thing, My hippy aunt did the same thing you did.

Me hippy... Ha! You didn´t know me.

He wondered in the streets and ended up almost getting himself killed from drugs and one guy almost molested him.

He needed stable family life. He didn't have a male father figure either, and a firm mother who would tell him it is not safe to go out in the street.

And beer and smoking (from the article). Geez, I think everyone do that no matter what background they came from. It's peer pressure. If you go to a party and everyone was drinking, would you?

What your aunt did is neglect her form of discipline to expose her son like this.

You think I´m the same as your "hippy" Aunt... :roll:

The children end into negative way like this due abuse, neglect, too strict, over-protective, etc.

Beside, each child is different some do better with one with certain childrearing than the other. How you were raised by your mother will work with your child. My aunt took a different approach than her mother and it didn't turn out well for her. My mom and some of her sisters took my grandma approach with their kids and they became a well adjusted healthy adults.

For your information, I don´t follow my parent´s role but my own knowledge where I learn from parental conference, family conference, etc... I rather to do at modern time. That´s how I have no problem with my teenagers...

I´m not strict to my chlidren but firm my limit and rules with them.