Offensive comments

Taylor

Taylor

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This is deaf related and wanted to get some opinions. Perhaps its not politically correct for me to ask, but I'd prefer not to offend people I'm signing with ;)

The other day I analyzed the daily conversations I was having with people. I didn't know how much 'hearing' references come up in daily conversations.

For example, a friend Mark was talking about a situation that happened to him. The comment made was "Mark's experience 'struck a chord' with me"

Another: "I was at home watching TV and heard sirens going by my house. I looked out my window and saw several fire trucks at a house down the street'.

Another: "When that woman laughs, it sounds like a witch cackling"

Another: "I heard that you and Susan are going out on a date this Friday"

Those are just a few examples to express what I mean. When communicating with a deaf friend, is it impolite to make comments like that?

I know this is a weird question, but from an outsider looking into deaf culture, I sometimes don't know what is appropriate and what is not. I'm hoping nobody here will be offended and can answer the question honestly, and understand that I'm asking with the best of intentions. Sometimes we make comments that are offensive and we don't mean to....I want to avoid that from happening.
 
I am surprised you ask this.
I thought the normal procedure is to pump a dozen bullets into a person in question before anything further is done.
 
Beowulf said:
I am surprised you ask this.
I thought the normal procedure is to pump a dozen bullets into a person in question before anything further is done.
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I thought you were cracking a joke but apparently not.

Although, you may have just made the exact point I was looking for. It bothers me when people talk about cops shooting people in that reference. I hope I never, ever have to shoot anybody. I hope to retire without ever putting a bullet into somebody. We are often asked 'Have you ever shot somebody?'

While I didn't intend on offending anyone with my comments, your point is taken.
 
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Hmm, I don't see how your comments would be considered offensive. At least, not to me. I don't care if they are hearing references or not. If some can't, get a grip.
 
Taylor,

Have you shot anyone before? :giggle: Now let's hear an offensive comment back. ;)
 
Banjo,
That very may well be the case. Its one of those things I wanted to consider.
A recent incident that comes to mind was a reference another member made about the only thing Indians do is dance around campfires. Another talked about there being no native american languages left in America. Some Native Americans I know would be highly offended by those comments...for me, its just a matter of them not being educated about the culture. The reason I asked the question is to educate myself. Make sense?
 
Cheri said:
Taylor,

Have you shot anyone before? :giggle: Now let's hear an offensive comment back. ;)
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LOL....How could I say something to offend you? ;)
 
It depends on whom you ask, Taylor, if I was kidding or not.
But that is another thread, and no doubt it will be scoffed as being exaggerated.
As for your question on how thin the eggshells ought to be as you tiptoe around deafies...
Well, use your head. If it was you, Taylor, we can take the stomping because we can sense the precautions.
Does that make any sense?
 
Beowulf,
As you can see from my post, I did realize that you were serious in your comments. It isn't a matter of walking on egg shells...My concerns may not even be something to be concerned about....that is why I asked. I have no problems having a normal conversation about things that happen every day and using my everyday language with people. That is why I asked....Is this something to be concerned about?

You know, its funny. I'm reminded by people that I'm a republican and uneducated on whats really happening in the world (including comments from you)....but god forbid I should actually try to educate myself on something I'm not familiar with....I think I'm starting to understand how it is.

I know, at least where I come from, I have no problems with somebody asking me a question. If somebody says 'When you go back home, do you all dance around a campfire all night', I at least tell thats not what happens.
 
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Taylor

Even through you're a republican and a Bush Lover, I still consider you as my friend.(Talking to myself Damn republicans!) Opps! Did I say something out loud here? :giggle: just kidding! ;)
 
Taylor, I BEG you not to read into my words any more than are there, because I am becoming increasingly aware that the way one person perceives the world is not necessarily the correct one, and in my heart of hearts, I know you are not wrong in your feelings and perceptions.
I cannot stress this enough.
I am jolly well aware that Alldeaf is something ephemeral, something that could vanish overnight, but the feeling of being human, being alive, is something that will forever stay with me, and I thank you for being a large part of it.
 
Beowulf said:
Taylor, I BEG you not to read into my words any more than are there, because I am becoming increasingly aware that the way one person perceives the world is not necessarily the correct one, and in my heart of hearts, I know you are not wrong in your feelings and perceptions.
I cannot stress this enough.
I am jolly well aware that Alldeaf is something ephemeral, something that could vanish overnight, but the feeling of being human, being alive, is something that will forever stay with me, and I thank you for being a large part of it.
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I understand completely.
 
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I don't really think that it's wrong to use the word "heard". I can understand where you're coming from for statements #1 and #2. However, it doesn't really apply to #3. If a friend of mine got some interesting news from someone else, of course... he's gonna tell me that he "heard" these news. What you gonna say... "I saw that Jack and Jill are dating." People are going to take that comment the wrong way. Why? Well, since you said "saw", they're gonna assume that you actually witnessed it. However, if you said, "heard"... then they will know that you received these news from someone else. Another thing, saying "saw" makes no sense when used in a sentence like that.

As for the first two statements, it is just a matter of using your imagination when referring to something that's being heard. Remember, a lot of deaf people are more visually aware of things around them so they can still see flashing lights from fire trucks and police cars. I've seen situations where the deaf person saw something before a hearing person heard it. Now, that's something to be proud of. :thumb:
 
I am a hearing terp, so these are just observations from the hearing viewpoint. Of course, I would always defer to the Deaf viewpoint on these topics.

I think most Deaf people understand that when you, as a hearing person, are telling about something you experienced, they would expect that hearing is part of your daily life, and therefore would be part of your stories. However, you can express certain feelings and descriptions with visual examples instead of oral/aural phrases.

Taylor said:
...For example, a friend Mark was talking about a situation that happened to him. The comment made was "Mark's experience 'struck a chord' with me"
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In this situation, "struck a chord" is an English idiom that you could sign without the "hearing" terminology and it would not lose meaning. Such as (very roughly glossed), "Mark's experience, same-same me" or "That experience, I understand; same happened me." In other words, the meaning of the sentence is that you and Mark each had a similar experience with similar results or feelings.

Another: "I was at home watching TV and heard sirens going by my house. I looked out my window and saw several fire trucks at a house down the street'.
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You are a hearing person, and you heard the sirens, and that is what caught your attention. There is nothing wrong in explaining what happened as your experience.

Another: "When that woman laughs, it sounds like a witch cackling"
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Again, if that is someone's description, you can sign it faithfully as described.[

Another: "I heard that you and Susan are going out on a date this Friday"
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It depends on if you are signing your own sentence, or if you are interpreting someone elses' words. If you are interpreting, then you would probably sign "I heard..." because that is all the information you have about the content. If you are signing for yourself, you have more information, so you can change the sentence to, "Dave told/informed me that you and Susan..."
I also have Deaf friends who sign "I heard" all the time, even though they don't actually "hear" the news. They use it just like blind people say, "Nice to see you again." My Deaf friend will sign, "I heard will snow today", but actually he read the weather report on-line.

... When communicating with a deaf friend, is it impolite to make comments like that?
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None of my Deaf friends or clients have any problems about that because they know that hearing people can "hear". However, if someone is sensitive about that, I guess they will let you know, either directly, or thru visual feedback. (If you sign something innocent, and you get a real ugly look back, then I would say you need to try again.)
 
To me and the way I see it, I don't find anything offensive about what you said above Taylor
 
Blind folk use the word.."see"....as in the sense..of...

"Oh! I understand!"
Example: A blind person says, "I see what you mean!" What they are really saying is,.."I understand what you mean!"

Perhaps the Deaf use a statement like.."I've heard of you!" in the sense that "I've gotten information"

...Sort of like "know about!"

Example.."I read about you in the newspaper so I've heard of you!"

Understand?
 
mysteriesofthes said:
"Oh! I understand!"
Example: A blind person says, "I see what you mean!" What they are really saying is,.."I understand what you mean!"

Perhaps the Deaf use a statement like.."I've heard of you!" in the sense that "I've gotten information"

...Sort of like "know about!"

Example.."I read about you in the newspaper so I've heard of you!"

Understand?
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Yeah, it's more of a figure of speech that deaf people shouldn't take offensively. I think that some people take things too seriously and it takes the fun out of the converstation. If people kept this up, there would be no more fun or humor. :(
 
VamPyroX,

I know what you did last summer. :whistle:
 
I think there's such a thing as being too politicially correct. Hearing references aren't offensive to me at all. It's always good to learn from each other. ;) If we are open to the everyhearing perception, then we set an example for others to be more open to the everydeaf perception (refer to Everyman, literature - http://www.luminarium.org/medlit/intro.htm).. maybe mindset isnt a good choice of word... maybe it's more like how we create imagery using the ways we can understand? Everybody does have struggles, deaf and hearing.. blind, alien or whatever, and that's what we all have in common. That is why I think sometimes certain ideas can be too politicially correct, and keeps us out of touch with reality that we all share.
 
Thank You to all for the great responses. As I mentioned previously, this was probably something that I shouldn't have worried about. I'm not the most politically correct person and can be blunt at times, but I wanted to be armed with the information before I found myself regretting something I have said. Seems most people do not worry about it and it wasn't something I really needed to worry about either ;)

In most cases, something could be said differently (instead of 'struck a chord' could say 'same thing happened to me', etc).

Some very great points in this thread and I appreciate everyones feedback and comments. Thanks again!
 
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