Ode to the Nice Guys

Vance

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I got this piece from Nas (she loves 'good/nice' guys than anything else and she got it from one of her friends today). Here it is:


Ode to the Nice Guys

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

Source: http://www.stwing.upenn.edu/~jenf/writing/rant04.html


Amen! Great piece, IMHO. (btw, this piece was written by a woman)
 
That's about all nice guys are going to get, this essay.

Great essay, great writing skills, no doubt.
However, it has been my experience that this sort of thing serves only to keep nice guys going, as abuse has made being nice a dying art form.

Certianly, you don't want to be an out & out jerk to a lady, unless you wish all of your relationships to be short term. If you are rude, you WILL get dates, but that "bad boy" image is only a phase that most women go through.
That phase lasts 1-5 years, no more. I refuse to give my sources on this, because we only have so much time here, so don't ask.

Rudeness is NOT the way to go, but neither is being nice. The percentage of nice guys that wind up not getting walked on is in single digits.

What's the solution? Be a polite guy. Nice and polite are two diffent animals all together. They are similar, but not the same.
Hold open the dorr for ladies, gents. That's not being nice, that's just plain good manners. Always pay for dinner, etc. However if the lady insists on paying or going dutch, don't argue. Accept with grace.
Listen to her problems, but silently demand that she do the same for you. If she wants to complain about her boyfriend, tell her to get rid of the boyfriend if he's such a problem and THEN come back and talk to you. If a woman berates you, take it a little bit, but not all day. Wait until your politeness wears off, then match her tit for tat. It's easier than you think.
She'll hate you all day, but respect you the next. If you are just in it for some nookie, then don't try to be polite. Be rude and all of your short term fantacies will come true. If you want high praise and nothing more, then by all means! Be a nice guy!!!
If you want a balance of self respect and a relationship then be polite.
Being polite is in between the 2 extremes of being rude and being nice.
And last but not least, NEVER, EVER hit a woman.......unless she hits you first. Take the first blow, but then warn her that the gloves will come off if she repeats. Hitting a woman after she hits you is NOT domestic violence, it's self defense. Better yet, warn her that you will defend yourself from the get-go if she ever hits you.
You can buy nookie, if that's all you are after. You can make lifetime friends (only) by being nice. However, if you want a balanced package that you can take home with you, BE POLITE!!!
 
THis sounds exactly like my boyfriend and some of my male friends.. they're all nice guys and can never get the girls. Hope you don't mind I sent a copy to my boyfriend just to prove to him that there are girls out there looking for nice guys.
He thinks all girls want jerks.. And he wonders why I'm with him???:crazy:
 
That article definitely has said it's 2 cents. It is much worth than 2 cents. When I read the article, It has opened my eyes because ladies, we are much more in touch with our emotions and we search for it to be in touch with it. Those nice guys definitely have went out of their way to be there for a girl who needs the compassion, emotional support and just to be there for her whether it is about anything to the max. So, Indeed, The title has said it all - "Ode to the Nice Guys".
 
Yes it's true, I hate being referred to as the nice guy...... the rest of the rant is just a rant..

But nice guys do indeed finish last.....girls like to play games.
 
ummm chuck, dear...

Not always... My boyfriend is a nice guy and he got me. I've dated 2 or 3 nice guys.. and 1 bad boy..

So I wouldn't necesssarily say nice guys finish last... It just takes a woman to find those nice guys :)
 
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