new relationship new parenting ?

[josey]

HI Guys
Got a question a problem ........ what would you do if you got invloved with someone that has no kids and your kids are adults and not living in the same home as you .
I know that families are hard but step /blended family aren't any better but a childless person in a family unit sometimes over shadows ones wants ,needs ,believes etc ...

The relationship you are in you also aren't lliving any longer in thier childhood home you are now living in your new life home with new partner etc...

Isn't ok not to give the "kids" a key to the house ?

Isn't it ok to ask that the " Kids" call before they come over ? ( calling at the door doesn't count as atleast they called ) .

Isn't it only right to expect that if someone calls and you answer that they should say hello ? not just put Dad on or Is Dad around ?


Isn't it only right to ask spouse or partner something 1st and get a response before asking the "kid " 1st and then asking the partner /spouse and if like I say no then get well I already said its ok .

or isn't it only right to get the partner's /spouses yes or no if your "kid" can come for a extended stay of a few days and then a few more days .

I know this may sound very childish but some of these issues are BIG to some .


ty

 

[Brian]

Isn't ok not to give the "kids" a key to the house ?

This is something I would need to discuss with their mother about it to ensure that we are on the same page.

Isn't it ok to ask that the " Kids" call before they come over ? ( calling at the door doesn't count as atleast they called ) .

If we both agreed to ask that they call us to let us know they are coming over. I believe we would appreciate some privacy and would like to spend together alone sometimes.

Isn't it only right to expect that if someone calls and you answer that they should say hello ? not just put Dad on or Is Dad around ?

Yes, I agree that children should address their step-parents by their names and ask to speak with their parents.

Isn't it only right to ask spouse or partner something 1st and get a response before asking the "kid " 1st and then asking the partner /spouse and if like I say no then get well I already said its ok .

This is the proper way to do to ask first. I believe it is very important for both to be on the same page.

or isn't it only right to get the partner's /spouses yes or no if your "kid" can come for a extended stay of a few days and then a few more days .

Yes, it is. If the mother says no to her children, then let it be that way.

 

[jillio]

HI Guys
Got a question a problem ........ what would you do if you got invloved with someone that has no kids and your kids are adults and not living in the same home as you .
I know that families are hard but step /blended family aren't any better but a childless person in a family unit sometimes over shadows ones wants ,needs ,believes etc ...

The relationship you are in you also aren't lliving any longer in thier childhood home you are now living in your new life home with new partner etc...

Isn't ok not to give the "kids" a key to the house ?

As long as the kid understands that the key is to be used in the case of an emergency only, or int he case that the parent is traveling, to get intot he house to feed pets, etc.[/COLO

Isn't it ok to ask that the " Kids" call before they come over ? ( calling at the door doesn't count as atleast they called ) .
Yes, it is perfectly okay to ask the kids to call before coming over.

Isn't it only right to expect that if someone calls and you answer that they should say hello ? not just put Dad on or Is Dad around ?

Yes, it is right to expect that. It is rude not to speak to the person answering the phone.


Isn't it only right to ask spouse or partner something 1st and get a response before asking the "kid " 1st and then asking the partner /spouse and if like I say no then get well I already said its ok .

Yes, as long as it is a situation that will affect the spouse or the realtionship.

or isn't it only right to get the partner's /spouses yes or no if your "kid" can come for a extended stay of a few days and then a few more days .

Yes, the married couple should be working together as partners in the relationship. As you said, these "kids" are now adults. They need to be treated as such. If they want you to respect their independent life, then they need to respect yours, as well.

I know this may sound very childish but some of these issues are BIG to some .

 

[josey]

TY !! This is a very touchy subject .

Isn't it only right to ask spouse or partner something 1st and get a response before asking the "kid " 1st and then asking the partner /spouse and if like I say no then get well I already said its ok .

Yes, as long as it is a situation that will affect the spouse or the realtionship.

or isn't it only right to get the partner's /spouses yes or no if your "kid" can come for a extended stay of a few days and then a few more days .

Yes, the married couple should be working together as partners in the relationship. As you said, these "kids" are now adults. They need to be treated as such. If they want you to respect their independent life, then they need to respect yours, as well.



Jsyk This is not like can I have soda stuff that I am talking about its large sums of money .signing for cars . houses etcc....
and telling the kids that they can move in between moves ,jobs , children etc .. this I think is big and with us raised so differntly its hard and with one have kids and one not its something that the childless person needs to be worked into .

TY both

 

[jillio]

TY !! This is a very touchy subject .

Isn't it only right to ask spouse or partner something 1st and get a response before asking the "kid " 1st and then asking the partner /spouse and if like I say no then get well I already said its ok .

Yes, as long as it is a situation that will affect the spouse or the realtionship.

or isn't it only right to get the partner's /spouses yes or no if your "kid" can come for a extended stay of a few days and then a few more days .

Yes, the married couple should be working together as partners in the relationship. As you said, these "kids" are now adults. They need to be treated as such. If they want you to respect their independent life, then they need to respect yours, as well.



Jsyk This is not like can I have soda stuff that I am talking about its large sums of money .signing for cars . houses etcc....
and telling the kids that they can move in between moves ,jobs , children etc .. this I think is big and with us raised so differntly its hard and with one have kids and one not its something that the childless person needs to be worked into .

TY both

If its something that big, then it does affect both partners and their relationship,so both should be involved in the decision. I figured from the way you had worded it that it was more than just giving them a soda or a candy bar. And you are right. If one partner is not used to being a parent, then they need to be worked into it slowly.