Nervous breakdown

Sydlie

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I'm moving in less than a week and I have SO much packing to do and not time to breathe, but yet, I'm procrastinating anyway. So, I've been postponing my nervous breakdown recently by listening to insane amounts of stand up comedy. I just relocated my Dennis Leary CD and the only actual song on it is absolutely hysterical, so I thought I'd share it:

Life's gonna suck when you grow up
When you grow up
When you grow up
Life's gonna suck when you grow up
It sucks pretty bad right now

Hey! If you know the words, sing-a-long!

Your gonna have to mow the lawn
Do the dishes
Make your bed
Your gonna have to go to school until your 17

And it's gonna seem about 3 times as long as that

You might have to go to war
Shoot a gun
Kill a nun
You might have to go to war when you get out of school

Hey Cheer up kids! It gets a lot worse

Your gonna have to deal with Stress
Deal with Stress
Deal with Stress
Your gonna be a giant mess when you get back from the war

Santa Claus does not exist
And there's no Easter Bunny
You'll find out when you grow up that Big Bird isn't funny
funny
funny
:::sarcasticly laughing:::

Life's gonna suck when you grow up
When you grow up
When you grow up
Life's gonna suck when you grow up
It sucks pretty bad right now

Your gonna end up smoking crack
On your back
Face the fact
Your gonna end up hooked on smack and then your gonna die!

And then your gonna Die!!!
 
Hehehe...you should try listening to Dennis Leary's 'You're an asshole' ;)
My hubby likes that song -- 'You're an :asshole:' blah, blah, blah. I don't even know the lyrics to it. :-X
 
I have Asshole, but I'm a much bigger fan of this one. I love Dennis Leary, he RAWKS!
 
Originally posted by WaterRats13
Hehehe...you should try listening to Dennis Leary's 'You're an asshole' ;)
My hubby likes that song -- 'You're an :asshole:' blah, blah, blah. I don't even know the lyrics to it. :-X

The song is "Asshole" and it's by Dennis Leary. Here are the words:

I'm just a regular Joe, with a regular job
I'm your average white suburbanite slob
I like football and porno and books about war
I've got an average house with a nice hardwood floor
My wife and my job, My kids and my car
nMy feet on my tableand a cuban cigar
But sometimes that just ain't enough
To keep a man like me interested
So i've gotta go out
and have fun at someone else's expense
I drive really slow in the ultra fast lane
While people behind me are going insane

Chorus
I'm an assholeX2

I use public toilets and I piss on the seats
I walk around in the summertime sayin how about this heat

Chorus

Sometimes I park in handicapped places
While handicapped people make handicapped faces

Chorus

Maybe I shouldn't be singing this song
Ranting and raving and carrying on
Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong
Naaaaaaa

Chorus

Spoken:

You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac
Eldorado Convertable, hot pink with whale skin hub-caps and all
leather cow interior and big brown babby seal eyes for headlights.
Yeah and I'm gonna drive around in that baby at 115 miles per hour
getting one mile per gallon, sucking down Quarter Pounder cheese
burgers from Mc Donalds in the old fasion, non-biodegradible styrofoam
containers and when I'm done suckn' down those greaseburgers I'm gonna
wipe my mouth on the American flag and then I'm gonna toss those
styrofoam containers right out the side and there ain't a god-damned
thing you can do about it, you know why? Cause we got the bombs that's
why.

Two words: Nuclear fucking weapons Ok? Russia, Germany, Romania- they can have
all the democracy they want. They can have a big democracy cake-walk right
through the middle of Tiananmen Square and it won't make a lick of a
difference because we got the bombs OK? John Wayne's not dead-he's frozen. And
as soon as we find a cure for cancer we're gonna thaw out the Duke out and
he's gonna be pretty pissed off. You know why? Have you ever taken a cold
shower? Well multiply that by 15 million times, that's how pissed off he's
gonna be. I'm gonna get the Duke and John Cassavetes and Lee Marvin and Sam
Peckinpah and a case of whiskey and drive down to Texas.

(Hey you know you really are an asshole)

Why don't you just shut up and sing the song pal.....

I'm an asshole x2
A-S-S-H-O-L-E everybody
A-S-S-H-O-L-E
 
I have a questin are you guys hearing or HOH I mean I cant even hear the words on the music........or the comedy cd whatever you guys are talking about....
 
Originally posted by BabyPhat21
I have a questin are you guys hearing or HOH I mean I cant even hear the words on the music........or the comedy cd whatever you guys are talking about....

Thats what im wondering about. I thought they are deaf. :o
 
Sydlie, where are you moving to?
I am also moving in less than a week and am taking the same way as you, putting things off until last minute as usual! heh... Too bad I can't hear as to recommend you any songs but I am going to wish you much luck with packing and moving anyhow! :P
 
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