Need some help!

mbrek

mbrek

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I said something to someone dear to me. It was said online, and I meant it in a light-hearted way.

Of course, when you make statements online you cannot see faces. My comment hurt this person in a way I would NEVER have intended. EVER.
What came out of my mind was not how it was perceived.

I had no idea it came out this way. My heart hurts so much thinking this person would believe I would do this! Now I am avoided... and I sit here crying while I write this.

Anyone have any ideas on how I can mend this?
 
Yes! But they might be closing themselves off to me. I am not the type of person who would intentionally hurt another.
 
I'm not sure what you said to other person. Yeah, people always interpret it the wrong way. I've seen it happen. Don't take it personally if people don't understand your point of view.
 
This might be a hard one to remedy....once you click ur mouse, then it's out there....All I can think of is just to apologize, several times if necessary...it's happened to me more than once. And it's true, some people perceive things different from others...we all have different opinions and senses of humor, and at times, say things without thinking how the other person might "feel" about it.

Don't be too hard on urself, since ur seriously sorry. Let ur friend know that you would never try to hurt her/his feelings intentionally.
 
Yeah, I know it's hard to mend. Online communications, it's more of "blind" communication where you can't see what's going on other side of the screens. You know it's like when a person on other side who has a good friend that just died and you wrote a a joke about it. One click away...and you just found out that this person died, how you can take it back? Can't.

Just give her/him a little time and what you just describe above, copy and paste it to your dear friend, it's a perfect description that you really don't mean it. I hope your dear person will forgive you.

I know it's a sh*tty feeling.

Added: Just another thought.. If you have home address, why not go to Hallmark store and buy Sorry card, and write it personally. Old fashion way do help.
 
I had the same type of thing happen and for me, it's still not resolved except that the person involved has totally removed me from everything and is rejecting my emails.
 
Been there and experienced. Nothing can be done if others is too closed minded. It happened to me almost 12 years ago, and I still really don't know what went wrong and glad it is over.

If you tried to correct them and other party still don't believe, it is really their problem not yours.
 
Good news all! I'm happy to say that after talking it over, things have been resolved. My strange sense of humor sometimes goes over like a lead balloon. I totally owned this one, back-peddled like hell to make things better.

My heart feels so much better now. And thank you all for your advice - rest assured it...

OMG, I was going to say it doesn't fall on deaf ears!!! (insert mental image of me slapping myself on head).

Your advice is taken to heart. I greatly appreciate the chance to get this cleared up!
 
mbrek said:
Good news all! I'm happy to say that after talking it over, things have been resolved. My strange sense of humor sometimes goes over like a lead balloon. I totally owned this one, back-peddled like hell to make things better.

My heart feels so much better now. And thank you all for your advice - rest assured it...

OMG, I was going to say it doesn't fall on deaf ears!!! (insert mental image of me slapping myself on head).

Your advice is taken to heart. I greatly appreciate the chance to get this cleared up!
Click to expand...

:lol: That would have been two major wrongs in what was apparently one day.
 
mbrek said:
Good news all! I'm happy to say that after talking it over, things have been resolved. My strange sense of humor sometimes goes over like a lead balloon. I totally owned this one, back-peddled like hell to make things better.

My heart feels so much better now. And thank you all for your advice - rest assured it...

OMG, I was going to say it doesn't fall on deaf ears!!! (insert mental image of me slapping myself on head).

Your advice is taken to heart. I greatly appreciate the chance to get this cleared up!
Click to expand...

Awesome!
 
Look, you can't control how other people think. You said what you had to say in earnest and people need to respect it.

Now, you should tell the person what you really felt, if it was misconstrued, and if they don't accept it, fine.

Your friends should be giving you the benefit of the doubt because you've earned it.

Just sayin...
 
It was misconstrued due in part to a horrid event in the person's past - of which I was unaware. My bad attempt at humor using reverse observation just made it worse.

I was the one needing to bend over backwards here... to make amends. Keeping the friendship is important to me - I don't feel like I have earned much beyond that.
 
:applause: for happy endings, mbrek!

Have had the cases of a text box causing anger when the sarcasm didn't go through, one of the downsides of the internet. :(
 
naisho said:
:applause: for happy endings, mbrek!

Have had the cases of a text box causing anger when the sarcasm didn't go through, one of the downsides of the internet. :(
Click to expand...

Amen brother, same here. Without seeing the faces and body language, some stuff comes out all wrong.
 
SneakerNet said:
Yeah, I know it's hard to mend. Online communications, it's more of "blind" communication where you can't see what's going on other side of the screens. You know it's like when a person on other side who has a good friend that just died and you wrote a a joke about it. One click away...and you just found out that this person died, how you can take it back? Can't.

Just give her/him a little time and what you just describe above, copy and paste it to your dear friend, it's a perfect description that you really don't mean it. I hope your dear person will forgive you.

I know it's a sh*tty feeling.

Added: Just another thought.. If you have home address, why not go to Hallmark store and buy Sorry card, and write it personally. Old fashion way do help.
Click to expand...

I think sending sorry card it a good idea and maybe she could make date to get together for coffee and leave it open for her friend to pick a day.
 
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