My travel until adoption

[Giulia]

Chapter one​

I was sixteen years old when I decided to adopt. My dad and his wife also decided to adopt another child, after unsuccessful IVFs.
While time was moving along, I was having a hard time deciding on whether or not I could handle motherhood because of my disability, I had many painful questions lingering in my head about this. As time went on I realized that these questions are fundamental for each person, especially when the person is disabled.
For years, I couldn't put into words, “why didn’t I decide to adopt later?” I knew in my story, in my life, something was wrong with pregnancy. This wasn’t confirmed by a doctor and I didn’t have proof but I did have my intuition.

At 21 years old, I went to see a geneticist-ENT doctor (Ear Nose and Throat) because I found out there were five cases of deafness in my family.
Earlier, during a consultation for a banal otitis with my ENT, I asked him if there was a possibility to lose my hearing during pregnancy; I had read something on the Internet about a woman who lost some hearing after delivery. He was reluctant to answer and seemed to not really know. At the end of the consult he told me to ask the geneticist her advice about this in order to make my decision.

The consultation in genetics went well, but she confirmed what my ENT doc told me; if I get pregnant, I may lose my hearing, it's not 100%, like for osteosclerosis, but it is a possibility.
I later learned from my ENT that there is no statistics about deafness during pregnancy, but it exists. Even in cases of unilateral deafness like mine.
I made my decision when I was 22 years old, no pregnancy. Even today the decision is painful, but for me it's the only solution to preserve my health and my hearing.
Even with HA and CI, the result is not proof-guarantee, and to hear again the languages I have learned, I would need a lot of extra assistance.
Today, as time goes on, I feel a lot of respect for my ENT. Even though the truth was painful for him to tell, and painful for me to hear I am relieved to have been able to put intuition into words. Now, I have taken the necessary steps to know and understand why I made this choice from my heart on not to become the a mother of a child I would have to carry.

 

[candybrowneyes]

I think it was a very good decision that you put a lot of thought and emotion into it Giulia. You know what is best for you and that is what is important. It is also a pleasure to call you my friend

 

[Giulia]

I think it was a very good decision that you put a lot of thought and emotion into it Giulia. You know what is best for you and that is what is important. It is also a pleasure to call you my friend

I didn't understand the first sentence of your comment, but if you explain me, I will go to bed more intelligent

I offer you a rose _________________@ for your kindness

 

[Jiro]

oh wow, Guilia. That's pretty early to think about having children. I guess the culture is different in here because most of people have children past 30 years old.

 

[candybrowneyes]

I didn't understand the first sentence of your comment, but if you explain me, I will go to bed more intelligent

I offer you a rose _________________@ for your kindness

Meaning it was good that you put so much thought into your decision and thanks for the rose

 

[Giulia]

oh wow, Guilia. That's pretty early to think about having children. I guess the culture is different in here because most of people have children past 30 years old.

In France too, but I thought quite early on the question, probably because daddy has adopted and so I was involved inside the decision.