my experience with this forum as a parent with a child who has a CI

[kayla123]

I came to this forum to expeirence and to learn more about the deaf culture. I had no prior expeirence within the deaf community up until my daughter was born. She was found to have a profound hearing loss in both ears at the age of 1 due to our suspicions.No hearing test was done at birth. She wore HA for 1 year and did not benefit much from them. Next came the decision for the CI. After all my research and talking to doctors and other parents who had their children implanted, i decided to go ahead with the surgery. Believe it's not an easy choice for a parent to send their child into surgery but i wanted to give her a chance in expeirencing the hearing world as well. So far she's loving it. In the future if she decices she dosent want to hear no more, then as her mother i will support her 110%. As her mother i did what a parent does for their child and that is give her all the possibilities that life can give. As for those who argue the fact that the decision to implant should be made when the child is old enough , you have to understand that the CI is most effective when implanted between the ages of 1 and 3. with all that said i know i did the best thing for her. It just bothers me that i came to this forum for a chance to learn about the deaf culture so i can educate her about it as she gets older but i'm seeing so much anger. I want her to expeirence both worlds but i certainly don't want her to be ridiculed by anyone just because she has a CI. No parent would want that for their child. So please instead of pointing fingers at parents just try to understand we want to do do what's best for our children.

 

[R2D2]

Thanks for sharing your story Kayla123.

I think you will find that when your daughter comes of age and if she decides she wants to be part of the deaf community, she will find it a much more accepting place than it is now. Plus not all people in the deaf community are as angry as some of the people that post here. As people have pointed out in this forum there was once a similar reaction against hearing aids when they first came out in the 1940s.

I don't think it's a good idea to make decisions for your children based only on the opinions of others anyway, since opinions can be very fluid and change over time. Plus all of us that post on here are not real as far as your life is concerned. We are just the internet, but your daughter is very real and very dependent on you. I'm sure you already know all of this!

 

[kayla123]

Thanks for sharing your story Kayla123.

I think you will find that when your daughter comes of age and if she decides she wants to be part of the deaf community, she will find it a much more accepting place than it is now. Plus not all people in the deaf community are as angry as some of the people that post here. As people have pointed out in this forum there was once a similar reaction against hearing aids when they first came out in the 1940s.

I don't think it's a good idea to make decisions for your children based only on the opinions of others anyway, since opinions can be very fluid and change over time. Plus all of us that post on here are not real as far as your life is concerned. We are just the internet, but your daughter is very real and very dependent on you. I'm sure you already know all of this!

Thanks R2D2, it's people like you that will make me stick around and want to learn more

 

[Gemtun]

Kayla123,

Please dont let some people here scare you off. A Forum is where people from all kinds of background gather and share thoughts or facts. You will encounter some deaf people who will be angry that you had your daughter implanted. But for every upset person, you will also encounter many deaf people who will not judge you for making a decision. You are her mother and you know/want the best for her.

Deaf community consists of many mini-cultures within. Not all of us fit in one shoe There are over 22 different communication modes.

Please dont let these angry people scare you off - they have their own experiences which caused them to being angry in the first place. I have upsetted many people with my pro-CI staunch - I have a CI but I got it when I was an adult. Had CIs been available when I was much younger, I would have wanted my parents get me implanted. My parents chose oral method and HAs so I grew up relying on lipreading and speech. Back then, many deaf people did get upset and thought it was the end of the world. They thought HAs was going to make Deaf culture extinct. Decades later, we are still here, arent we?

My deaf brother chose to implant his daughter with a CI when she was a toddler. Naturally, he is faced with such anger but him being deaf, he knows how important it is to equip his child with all tools in order to thrive in this world successfully. My niece is now 11 years old and is very happy & doing extremely well in school. She is starting to learn ASL. Perhaps someday your daughter will take up ASL and embrace Deaf Culture.

I did learn ASL in college years - it was my choice to learn ASL. I use ASL pretty good and have no regrets.

Hugs - I do support you all the way through and please dont be so hard on yourself. Being a parent myself, I am always hard on myself so I know it is much easier being said than done.

 

[kayla123]

Kayla123,

Please dont let some people here scare you off. A Forum is where people from all kinds of background gather and share thoughts or facts. You will encounter some deaf people who will be angry that you had your daughter implanted. But for every upset person, you will also encounter many deaf people who will not judge you for making a decision. You are her mother and you know/want the best for her.

Deaf community consists of many mini-cultures within. Not all of us fit in one shoe There are over 22 different communication modes.

Please dont let these angry people scare you off - they have their own experiences which caused them to being angry in the first place. I have upsetted many people with my pro-CI staunch - I have a CI but I got it when I was an adult. Had CIs been available when I was much younger, I would have wanted my parents get me implanted. My parents chose oral method and HAs so I grew up relying on lipreading and speech. Back then, many deaf people did get upset and thought it was the end of the world. They thought HAs was going to make Deaf culture extinct. Decades later, we are still here, arent we?

My deaf brother chose to implant his daughter with a CI when she was a toddler. Naturally, he is faced with such anger but him being deaf, he knows how important it is to equip his child with all tools in order to thrive in this world successfully. My niece is now 11 years old and is very happy & doing extremely well in school. She is starting to learn ASL. Perhaps someday your daughter will take up ASL and embrace Deaf Culture.

I did learn ASL in college years - it was my choice to learn ASL. I use ASL pretty good and have no regrets.

Hugs - I do support you all the way through and please dont be so hard on yourself. Being a parent myself, I am always hard on myself so I know it is much easier being said than done.

Thanks for your support Gemtum...I will definately teach my daughter to sign, i do want her to be a part of both worlds and thats why i'm here. Actually, we will take up the sign language classes together along with my husband.

 

[sr171soars]

Welcome to AD!

Thanks for your story. Yes, there is lots of controversy swirling over CIs in children (especially very young). You are doing just fine as a parent who is trying to give the best of all worlds to your child. More power to you...

Just don't let the "great anger" get to you. As R2D2 stated, this is the internet...

 

[Fragmenter]

My deaf brother chose to implant his daughter with a CI when she was a toddler. Naturally, he is faced with such anger but him being deaf, he knows how important it is to equip his child with all tools in order to thrive in this world successfully. My niece is now 11 years old and is very happy & doing extremely well in school. She is starting to learn ASL. Perhaps someday your daughter will take up ASL and embrace Deaf Culture.

Wow. I'm in the exact same boat as your brother

As of right now, ASL isn't a priority for our deaf children because we want them to work at their hearing and speech skills. They can always hone their ASL skills later on because it's not a primary language in the USA.

I need to read more about children who wears hearing aids or ci because it's a positive reinforcement for us.

Again for Kayala, don't let the milita-like attidute scare you off They're harmless.

 

[Awauphi]

I know you are only want the best for your daughter be able to hear and succeed as i would for my kids if they are deaf. Welcome Abroad to AD Dont worry about others .. there are some nice and friendly people like us in here so feel free to talk to us and share stories and your opinions of course!

 

[loml]

kayla123

It just bothers me that i came to this forum for a chance to learn about the deaf culture so i can educate her about it as she gets older but i'm seeing so much anger. I want her to expeirence both worlds but i certainly don't want her to be ridiculed by anyone just because she has a CI.

Kayla123,

There are extremist amongst us. Often they are the ones whose rhetoric can become quite ludicrious. I liken their behaviour to that of a bully, and yes indeed that is a harsh statement. Follow your gut feeling.

 

[deafdyke]

As an activist, I think its important for parents to realize that they shouldn't make the decisions over communication. The only thing parents should do is to give their kids a full communication toolbox. Yes, there are libral parents who are OK with Deaf culture and things like that. But there are still parents who are extremely audist with their kids.....they don't accept that their kids are different and just whine that they want healthy normal kids.

 

[Victorias mom]

Kayla123,

I have many of the same opinions as you. I am also a hearing parent of a deaf child, my daughter is only 4 months old. I am only starting the process of hearing aids, but our impression is she is showing little to no response with them.

I came to this forum for the same reasons as you, and have read many distrurbing posts from angry people. As the others said, there are many good people on this site that have given me valuable information. That is what is keeping me here. I am constantly reading and learning what I can, as a parent that is what we have to do for our children.

I am about 99.9% sure we will get our daughter implanted when she is at the appropriate age, so I am sure I will feel lots of the same things you are feeling.

How old is your daughter now? I look forward to reading more about her.

 

[deafdyke]

2kids1hoh, that is great that you're going into this informed. Some of the parents out there who are pro-implant, are almost "this is the latest designer high tech thingamabob....so we HAVE to have it!" Please continue the ASL with speech. I think if you do that, you'll find a lot less resistance to the implant. I think too, that will provide a safety net, just in case your daughter doesn't have a flair for speech. I think only a very small percentage of kids who didn't get too much out of hearing aids, do wicked well with speech when they are implanted. Also join the American Society for Deaf Children. There are many Dhh kids with implants who are utliziing a varity of communication approaches.

 

[kayla123]

Kayla123,

I have many of the same opinions as you. I am also a hearing parent of a deaf child, my daughter is only 4 months old. I am only starting the process of hearing aids, but our impression is she is showing little to no response with them.

I came to this forum for the same reasons as you, and have read many distrurbing posts from angry people. As the others said, there are many good people on this site that have given me valuable information. That is what is keeping me here. I am constantly reading and learning what I can, as a parent that is what we have to do for our children.

I am about 99.9% sure we will get our daughter implanted when she is at the appropriate age, so I am sure I will feel lots of the same things you are feeling.

How old is your daughter now? I look forward to reading more about her.

Thank you for all of your support. Kayla is 5 years old, she got implanted when she was 2. I know that a CI is not a miracle cure but it sure has helped her a lot, and thats because i did decide to go ahead with the surgery at a young age. 2kidsihoh, whatever your decision will be, i hope for the best for your daughter. If you do decide to get her implanted, it takes a lot of patience and a lot of work with your child. If you choose the audio verbal approach(thats what i chose for kayla) it's extensive therapy at home as well as with the therapist. I gotta say though it's worth every moment of it. Good luck with everything. Whatever decision you make will be the right one because nobody loves your child more then you do

 

[gnulinuxman]

I would rather ridicule you, not her.

 

[neecy]

I would rather ridicule you, not her.

I can not believe you!!!!!!

Please, Kayla don't take a single word this individual says at face value. He represents the worst side of anti-ci activism I've encountered. There are plenty here who will give you unbiased, educational feedback without any form of insult or redicule.

 

[Victorias mom]

I can not believe you!!!!!!

Please, Kayla don't take a single word this individual says at face value. He represents the worst side of anti-ci activism I've encountered. There are plenty here who will give you unbiased, educational feedback without any form of insult or redicule.

Neecy is 100% right.

GNU, you are not a parent and you are not deaf, so you should not ridicule or attack Kayla, myself or any other parent for the choice they make with their children.

 

[Victorias mom]

2kids1hoh, that is great that you're going into this informed. Some of the parents out there who are pro-implant, are almost "this is the latest designer high tech thingamabob....so we HAVE to have it!" Please continue the ASL with speech. I think if you do that, you'll find a lot less resistance to the implant. I think too, that will provide a safety net, just in case your daughter doesn't have a flair for speech. I think only a very small percentage of kids who didn't get too much out of hearing aids, do wicked well with speech when they are implanted. Also join the American Society for Deaf Children. There are many Dhh kids with implants who are utliziing a varity of communication approaches.

Thanks. I had my first baby signs lesson yesterday, I knew some of them already, so it went well. I hope she does as well as you say!

 

[greema]

Neecy is 100% right.

GNU, you are not a parent and you are not deaf, so you should not ridicule or attack Kayla, myself or any other parent for the choice they make with their children.

I completely agree with them... Please pay no mind to him -- he seems to derive pleasure from disagreeing with anyone and everyone just to get the attention.

Most excellent thread and I applaud all of you parents on your desire to give your children all the tools they need to get along in this world.

Just in case you aren't aware, my deaf son Fragmenter is researching CI options for his deaf son, my deaf grandson and I am first generation deaf.

 

[R2D2]

I would rather ridicule you, not her.

Low blow....ugh!

 

[Alex]

Some posts were removed. Contact me if you have any questions.

kayla123: I respect your decision you have made for your daughter. Glad to hear she's doing well. She deserves the best.