Measure Up

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DreamDeaf

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Measure Up!

(when you were little kid growing up, your mom or dad would measure you against your growth markers on a wall or doorway)

And now this....... Measure Down!

(see how far it drops!)

my.php
 
DreamDeaf said:
Measure Up!

(when you were little kid growing up, your mom or dad would measure you against your growth markers on a wall or doorway)

And now this....... Measure Down!

(see how far it drops!)

my.php
Click to expand...


:rofl: with tears!!

hey! what about the men!?!?! :squint: :P
 
OMG! :rofl:

Why do they pick on women? What about men? :wackit:
 
Alright ladies, I heard you...

Hope that the below message would satisifed you about men:


A young boy asks his father, "Dad, is it OK for us guys to notice all the
different kind of boobs?" Surprised, the father answers, "Well, sure son, we
wouldn't be normal if we didn't....there are all kinds of breasts...depending on a woman's age -- In her twenties, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions."

"Onions, Dad?"

"Yeah, you see them and they make you cry...."

Not to be outdone, his sister asks her mother, "Mom, how many kind of
penises are there?" The mother, delighted to have equal time, answers,
"Well, daughter, a man goes through three phases. In a man's twenties, a
man's penis is like an oak, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it
is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas Tree."

"A Christmas tree?"

"Yep, dried up and the balls are only there for decoration..."

~DV
 
DeafVeggie said:
Alright ladies, I heard you...

Hope that the below message would satisifed you about men:


A young boy asks his father, "Dad, is it OK for us guys to notice all the
different kind of boobs?" Surprised, the father answers, "Well, sure son, we
wouldn't be normal if we didn't....there are all kinds of breasts...depending on a woman's age -- In her twenties, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions."

"Onions, Dad?"

"Yeah, you see them and they make you cry...."

Not to be outdone, his sister asks her mother, "Mom, how many kind of
penises are there?" The mother, delighted to have equal time, answers,
"Well, daughter, a man goes through three phases. In a man's twenties, a
man's penis is like an oak, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it
is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas Tree."

"A Christmas tree?"

"Yep, dried up and the balls are only there for decoration..."

~DV
Click to expand...

OH BOY!!! NOW I FEEL BETTER!!! :nana: to the men!!! :rofl:

that was a good one!! keep them coming girl!!! :thumb:
 
:rofl: :rofl: DreamDeaf & DeafVeggies....

Hey DeafVeggies,

Good one there, can I please copy your post and save it into my file please?

:rofl:
 
Well, I'm a guy so, hell yeah, Angel, file it! LOL!
 
I saw that from a friend on a e-mail. I think it's funny, but poor woman with her ever-saggy boobs. I wonder if men gets a saggy penis? I dunno. I do know for sure that men's chests (man boobs) get saggy when they get old.

Yeah, aging sucks but gotta live with it.
 
I do know if my friend saw what I was going to say on here, he would be all over me in a flash...however, he has a great sense of humor...so I hope I survive this story.

I used to live in an apartment with 2 couples - I was the only single ... but had a HUGE bedroom to myself...heh heh...dont ask me why.

Anyway, they were all GREAT drinkers...and I mean DRINKERS...

One night, I was playing a board game with one couple and several friends, and I had to get up and go to my bedroom to get something, and on the way, I passed the other couple's bedroom...the guy inside had been drinking heavily and was walking to the bathroom down the hall...he was TOTALLY NAKED...and he was in his late 50's at that time, and I saw that his...er...umm...balls were hanging down like melted marshmallows...u know when you have a campfire, you're roasting marshmallows, and sometimes they aren't set on the stick right, they will melt off the stick like a ... u know...like a teardrop hanging off a leaf?

Well, that's what his nuts reminded me of. Melted marshmallows.

So, yes, men do have that dangly problem later in life, just like us wimmenfolk and our boobies.
 
DreamDeaf said:
Well, that's what his nuts reminded me of. Melted marshmallows.

So, yes, men do have that dangly problem later in life, just like us wimmenfolk and our boobies.
Click to expand...

(snickers)

so thanks for making us feeling a tad bit better!!! :D
 
DreamDeaf said:
One night, I was playing a board game with one couple and several friends, and I had to get up and go to my bedroom to get something, and on the way, I passed the other couple's bedroom...the guy inside had been drinking heavily and was walking to the bathroom down the hall...he was TOTALLY NAKED...and he was in his late 50's at that time, and I saw that his...er...umm...balls were hanging down like melted marshmallows...u know when you have a campfire, you're roasting marshmallows, and sometimes they aren't set on the stick right, they will melt off the stick like a ... u know...like a teardrop hanging off a leaf?
Click to expand...

:rofl: I'm curious here DreamieDeaf, after you have seen this man's balls, were you able to buy a bag of marshmallows and roasting them in the fire and eat them without picture the man's balls in your head?... :rofl:
 
I received the joke message story from one of my friends who forwarded me few months back. ;)

Thought I'd share it with you all when a topic is right.

Glad you all enjoyed it with *tears*, too! :mrgreen:

^Angel^, go ahead and copy it as you please. :)

~DV


^Angel^ said:
:rofl: :rofl: DreamDeaf & DeafVeggies....

Hey DeafVeggies,

Good one there, can I please copy your post and save it into my file please?

:rofl:
Click to expand...
 
^Angel^ said:
:rofl: I'm curious here DreamieDeaf, after you have seen this man's balls, were you able to buy a bag of marshmallows and roasting them in the fire and eat them without picture the man's balls in your head?... :rofl:
Click to expand...

Exactly. I havent had a real s'more since 1990.
 
Hm. [yelling out to my husband: we should start measuring down!]

Age ain't the one that done them girls in-- it is the gravity!

:pissed:

(hiding under the bed, rocking in a fetal position: "why are they sagging so early!?!")
 
That's what brassaires are for. Better keep 'em on 24/7 so the height in 1954 will stay the same. *pushes gazookas up high* :mrgreen:
 
The bras for women are the best invention ever created, they defy gravity! :rofl: Worse case, move to a planet where gravity isn't as strong as our planet Earth.
 
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