Male opinion/Did he cheat?

zookeeper4321

zookeeper4321

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Mr. Z had special ops training last week. It was very rigorous and we live a couple of hours from the facility. 2 different nights he didn't come home. He claims he spent the night on the couch at another officers house. She is female and single. He's mad at me for asking him. He has lied to me in the past about where he was and what he was doing. I've never been able to catch him, but I don't quite trust him. I don't want to leave him if it's just in my head. I love him and we have kids. I don't want to be with him if he did cheat. I can't afford a private investigator. Do you think a man can spend the night and not have sex?
 
zookeeper4321 said:
Mr. Z had special ops training last week. It was very rigorous and we live a couple of hours from the facility. 2 different nights he didn't come home. He claims he spent the night on the couch at another officers house. She is female and single. He's mad at me for asking him. He has lied to me in the past about where he was and what he was doing. I've never been able to catch him, but I don't quite trust him. I don't want to leave him if it's just in my head. I love him and we have kids. I don't want to be with him if he did cheat. I can't afford a private investigator. Do you think a man can spend the night and not have sex?
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Yes, A man can spend time with a woman without sex !!!
As a man, I can say that not all men are addicted to sex !!!
Perhaps, he talked to her about something like his life , her life , job, business etc.. Perhaps , he was bored with some problems.. Some men tend to talk about their problems with somebody else not their wives.. Some men avoid talking to their wives and they find someone else to talk to.. There are so many possibilities about what he did that night.. Cheating is always the last of posibilities..
 
zookeeper4321,

How is his behavior with you? If he has change like keeping his distance from you, He might have some guilt of cheating on you. How is your relationship with him, Are you happy in love with each others, Does he make love to you or has it change? Those are the things that can help you find out if he is actually cheating or not. Make sure your intuition are right. ;)
 
It wouldn't feel right if my man was sleeping over a single woman's house...


Do you want me to hit him in the head with one of my kid's plastic bat?.:whistle:
 
Ya'll are married right? first of all, he shouldn't be at a woman's house staying the night if he's only a couple of hours away.. he could have gotten a hotel for himself or come straight home. Like Cheri asked, if you've noticed any changes between the 2 of you, that's something you need to reconsider thinking about your marriage. Something you need to do what's best for you not him. If you really want to make it work, try going counseling. If he doesn't want that, then there are other options.

the main thing about this is you guys are married, he shouldn't be staying a a woman's house whos single. that's kinda odd.
 
Unless you can afford to send P.I. :cool: to check on him. Yeah, ADers are right to see his behavior like distant from you.
 
Ouch, ain't fun...
Oh boyee..
Depend P.I. price range if r u can affordable.. as long you can phone call and to see how much cost P.I. price compare other.. Worth your try shot!
 
If he seems aggravated when you question him concerning where he went and things like that, it's possible because it's in guy's defensive mechanism. If he have nothing to hide, then he wouldn't be mad about it at all.

I would agree that if he slept over with single girl, then that is a taboo. No guy can resist the temptation in that condition that he is in whether he is sex freak or not.

Maybe best method is to "camouflage" your questioning in long run, say maybe ask him while you eat out like for example, what did you and (that girl) talk about? And ask that question again after few days. A person who lies couldn't keep their stories straight unless they're THAT smart.
 
I know that you asked for male opinion but I just wanted to point out that I already see red flags there.

1. Getting mad when you asked
2. Has lied about his whereabouts in the past
3. Your trust is not 100 percent
4. Lack of communication between you guys


I have a few questions for you.

1. Did he answer his cell phone while he was at that lady's house? Was he available for you all time?
2. Did he tell you BEFORE going over to that lady's house that he was going to be doing that?
3. Have you met this lady? Have he introduced you guys?


Either way, I think that counseling would help you guys out. Because it is not just all about him staying overnight at his co workers house but of poor communication and trust level. Counseling is usually covered under insurance, not a P.I. Counseling would go a long way if you truly want to save your marriage.
 
Gemtun said:
I know that you asked for male opinion but I just wanted to point out that I already see red flags there.

1. Getting mad when you asked
2. Has lied about his whereabouts in the past
3. Your trust is not 100 percent
4. Lack of communication between you guys


I have a few questions for you.

1. Did he answer his cell phone while he was at that lady's house? Was he available for you all time?
2. Did he tell you BEFORE going over to that lady's house that he was going to be doing that?
3. Have you met this lady? Have he introduced you guys?


Either way, I think that counseling would help you guys out. Because it is not just all about him staying overnight at his co workers house but of poor communication and trust level. Counseling is usually covered under insurance, not a P.I. Counseling would go a long way if you truly want to save your marriage.
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Yes, those are good pointers!!!
 
Gemtun said:
I know that you asked for male opinion but I just wanted to point out that I already see red flags there.

1. Getting mad when you asked
2. Has lied about his whereabouts in the past
3. Your trust is not 100 percent
4. Lack of communication between you guys


I have a few questions for you.

1. Did he answer his cell phone while he was at that lady's house? Was he available for you all time?
2. Did he tell you BEFORE going over to that lady's house that he was going to be doing that?
3. Have you met this lady? Have he introduced you guys?


Either way, I think that counseling would help you guys out. Because it is not just all about him staying overnight at his co workers house but of poor communication and trust level. Counseling is usually covered under insurance, not a P.I. Counseling would go a long way if you truly want to save your marriage.
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Agreed, no question! :bowdown:
 
well i think he should get hotel or friend house or relative house instead of her place. I think its very faithful. No matter if he is sex or not sex with that lady. Even he really love you or in marriage w/ you. Thats very respectful.
 
zookeeper4321 said:
Mr. Z had special ops training last week. It was very rigorous and we live a couple of hours from the facility. 2 different nights he didn't come home. He claims he spent the night on the couch at another officers house. She is female and single. He's mad at me for asking him. He has lied to me in the past about where he was and what he was doing. I've never been able to catch him, but I don't quite trust him. I don't want to leave him if it's just in my head. I love him and we have kids. I don't want to be with him if he did cheat. I can't afford a private investigator. Do you think a man can spend the night and not have sex?
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Hey Z, I have a great idea! Since I have been watching tv program called, "Cheaters"...Have you seen this program before? They use camera to follow your husband whereabouts...then they will show you the camera then you will confront him on tv!

Go check it out! www.cheaters.com

Click on "submit your case" on far left side below...not the online $49 in the middle...

I personally dont think it is appropriate for a married man to sleep over at single woman's place...there are temptation period! Is your hubby hearing? Are you deaf or hearing? just to make sure..May I ask why does he work few hours away? or was it for seminar?

Good luck and keep us posted!
 
Gemtun said:
I know that you asked for male opinion but I just wanted to point out that I already see red flags there.

1. Getting mad when you asked
2. Has lied about his whereabouts in the past
3. Your trust is not 100 percent
4. Lack of communication between you guys


I have a few questions for you.

1. Did he answer his cell phone while he was at that lady's house? Was he available for you all time?
2. Did he tell you BEFORE going over to that lady's house that he was going to be doing that?
3. Have you met this lady? Have he introduced you guys?


Either way, I think that counseling would help you guys out. Because it is not just all about him staying overnight at his co workers house but of poor communication and trust level. Counseling is usually covered under insurance, not a P.I. Counseling would go a long way if you truly want to save your marriage.
Click to expand...

i am with gemtun here... but counseling??? i am not sure if that would help... once a snake- always a snake! IMHO and i personally hate "snakes!" :ugh: but if you want to try counseling- i wish you a lot of luck!!! HANG IN THERE, GIRL!!! :hug:

i wouldn't like it if my bf did that to me.... and i KNOW he wouldn't like it if i slept at a guy's house either!!! :dizzy:
 
I agreed with Cheri, Rebel Girl and Gemtun!

Try what they suggested you. I hope everything will be work out when you finds out.
 
Gemtun said:
I know that you asked for male opinion but I just wanted to point out that I already see red flags there.

1. Getting mad when you asked
2. Has lied about his whereabouts in the past
3. Your trust is not 100 percent
4. Lack of communication between you guys


I have a few questions for you.

1. Did he answer his cell phone while he was at that lady's house? Was he available for you all time?
2. Did he tell you BEFORE going over to that lady's house that he was going to be doing that?
3. Have you met this lady? Have he introduced you guys?


Either way, I think that counseling would help you guys out. Because it is not just all about him staying overnight at his co workers house but of poor communication and trust level. Counseling is usually covered under insurance, not a P.I. Counseling would go a long way if you truly want to save your marriage.
Click to expand...


Excellent point. Nobody can really say for sure except for him and her. It is possible for a man to sleep at a single womans house and nothing happen. Some of you may remember K-9 cop that posted here when I was in the hospital. I've spent many nights at her house (and her here) and we have never been intimate in any way...not even a hug (except for the one time I was in the hospital). With that said, Gemtum mentions a lot of red flags and I see the same ones.
 
Taylor said:
Excellent point. Nobody can really say for sure except for him and her. It is possible for a man to sleep at a single womans house and nothing happen. Some of you may remember K-9 cop that posted here when I was in the hospital. I've spent many nights at her house (and her here) and we have never been intimate in any way...not even a hug (except for the one time I was in the hospital). With that said, Gemtum mentions a lot of red flags and I see the same ones.
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whoops
moving along now
watch the eclipse

just look into the sky
 
The husband should be home with his wife period.

That's respect.
 
Once a cheater is always a cheater. If he had lies to you before and he will always lies to you now and the future.

Follow your instant *sp*
 
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