lost within myself

cookingmom

cookingmom

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I have spent the last 18 and half years making sure my son who has a severe hearing lost was educated and raised the same as his sisters I have fought for his rights over and over now he is graduating from high school and embarking in college this fall I no longer know what to do with myself
 
No need to worry! He'll go on to be a successful adult, all thanks to you!
 
cookingmom said:
I have spent the last 18 and half years making sure my son who has a severe hearing lost was educated and raised the same as his sisters I have fought for his rights over and over now he is graduating from high school and embarking in college this fall I no longer know what to do with myself
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Been there, done that. Go back to school and use the skills you have gained to help other kids who need it.
 
You could be his friend more than his parent now that he is beginning his journey into adulthood.
 
Glenn said:
You could be his friend more than his parent now that he is beginning his journey into adulthood.
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My mom and I try to do this. It is way more rewarding for both people. There are many benefits.
 
jillio said:
It is a necessary shift in the relationship when children become adults.
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Yep, and I see the downside of not recognizing this transition all the time. Kids who can't be adults later in life... What happens when their parents are gone?
 
Glenn said:
Yep, and I see the downside of not recognizing this transition all the time. Kids who can't be adults later in life... What happens when their parents are gone?
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It is sad. Their grief is so compounded. And I have seen parents that have a very difficult time with the transition. They just can't let go of the parent mentality and see their kids as grown productive, and usually very interesting, adults.
 
I, too, feel sometimes the way the OP has posted....my boys are growing so fast. The baby will be a sophomore next year...Some people say...."give urself a pat on the back for a job well done".....it's not that easy....they are my life. But I do realize that I'll have time for "me" in a few years....Keeping myself busy, busy...Pretty soon, I'll have time for all the things I've wanted to do.
 
Yes. I think my mom felt much the same way when my youngest sister left home and then when she herself retired a while after that. However, within a few months, she had turned sister's room into her own den, went on a trip to Greece, got elected President of a community service group she had long been a member of - and she was off to the races with other organizations and activities. A few months after that, she was so busy with various projects she said she didn't know how she had ever had time to work!
 
Empty nest syndrome.

That is why I planned to have so many kids. It will be a while before all my kids are adults and by the time the youngest (who is 7 now) is an adult, I will have a flurry of grandchildren. There will always be kids in the house. (I am just having a glad break from the diaper stage for the time being :lol:) My adult children are either working with us or they are away at college/university. Sometimes they are travelling abroad.

Yes, I miss the my adult kids when they are away, but we keep in touch regularly. That is the beauty of social networks and skype. Was just chatting with my daughter who is at University in Australia. My eldest son (the second eldest) is 'home' from College. He was away for 2years. His little brother is sticking to him like glue and will not let him out of his sight, bless him.

I agree with Jillio, it is a good time to start doing something you didn't have the chance to when your kids were at home.
 
BecLak said:
Empty nest syndrome.

That is why I planned to have so many kids. It will be a while before all my kids are adults and by the time the youngest (who is 7 now) is an adult, I will have a flurry of grandchildren. There will always be kids in the house. (I am just having a glad break from the diaper stage for the time being :lol:) My adult children are either working with us or they are away at college/university. Sometimes they are travelling abroad.



Yes, I miss the my adult kids when they are away, but we keep in touch regularly. That is the beauty of social networks and skype. Was just chatting with my daughter who is at University in Australia. My eldest son (the second eldest) is 'home' from College. He was away for 2years. His little brother is sticking to him like glue and will not let him out of his sight, bless him.

I agree with Jillio, it is a good time to start doing something you didn't have the chance to when your kids were at home.
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You remind me of a friend I went to high school with. Everytime one of her children started school, she started to suffer from baby hunger. As a consequence, she has 7 children ranging in ages from mid-30's to elementary school!
 
jillio said:
You remind me of a friend I went to high school with. Everytime one of her children started school, she started to suffer from baby hunger. As a consequence, she has 7 children ranging in ages from mid-30's to elementary school!
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Is she happy with her life?
 
I can relate. My eldest graduates from high school next year. I'm trying to focus on what a wonderful young adult he has become. I'm finding new ways to connect on more equal footing. The bond will always be there. Jut because our relationship has to change in some ways doesn't mean that the bond is gone. So, I keep telling myself that. It helps that my teen is an affectionate, kind person.
 
sallylou said:
I can relate. My eldest graduates from high school next year. I'm trying to focus on what a wonderful young adult he has become. I'm finding new ways to connect on more equal footing. The bond will always be there. Jut because our relationship has to change in some ways doesn't mean that the bond is gone. So, I keep telling myself that. It helps that my teen is an affectionate, kind person.
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That shift in the relationship often brings joy and pride that you never imagined.
 
I may never have to go through the total empty nest syndrome. My daughter has said that she is never planning on leaving home. She wants to be there to help me as my health fails and all. I wonder what the syndrome or whatever is called when the parents who live with you die and are no longer there. I mean, My mother has lived with us for 18 years and we have been with MIL for 2 years. MIL is not feeling too well and gets tired too easily. She keeps making reference to just wanting to die and be done with all pain.
 
Kristina, are you worried about what will happen to your daughter after you die? You can make preparations for your daughter before you die. Some attorneys specialize in making plans for special needs adults. Your daughter will also have her brother. Siblings become very important when a parent dies.
 
She keeps making reference to just wanting to die and be done with all pain.
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This breaks my heart. Can the doctors improve her pain control?
 
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